For those saying ho-humm, I say this is important stuff, I don't watch TV but I can well imagine stupid things are happening there. But the subject is an important one.

My son tells me that young people today think marriage "doesn't work." To this I say "Right on." How could any two people be expected to make all the sacrifices needed to limit their lives to fit comfortably with someone else's life? And why do that? The world is smaller but choice are immense. Do it all!

As for raising children, years ago, out of guilt, I did a thesis on parent/child relationships and responsibilities. Something like that. What I found was fascinating. This was before the neocons came on the scene. Nearly to a researcher there was agreement that a family is not the best way to raise children. What two people, working on the side, can successfully cope with one child's curiosity, growing pain, testing authority, learning and questioning, needing lots of protection, trying to assert independence, and making choices about being civilized and still being unique and true to themselves? Answer: they can't and they don't.

We should all be responsible for our children in a way that we can do the most good. And the ones who are dedicated and educated for the job of parenting should be given the most time with them. Not all of us are cut out or educated to be parents. So these people should get out of the way with--I might add, no stigma attached. Once we stop relying, stupidly, on families to raise children well, we will be able to initiate better situations for our children. A wise friend said to me once, answering my question about what children need as gender examples to be successful people, he said, "Children need to be loved." And I say, the more caring, dedicated, and educated adults a child has access to, the more chances s/he has of being truly loved for who they are.

"I think Katherine Hepburn summed up the situation brilliantly:

"Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door to each other and just visit now and then." I say that being married for 17 or 20 years in this culture and time, you should count it as a great acomplishment. Things don't have to last "forever" for a couple for it to have still been a good thing.

-- CeresLMT"

Of course Katharine Hepburn would say that as it perfectly sums up the relationship with Spencer Tracy. He stayed married to his wife for 44 years while Ms. Hepburn lived next door to him and acted as his mistress for 18 years and even then he cheated on her with Gene Tierney!

If these people cared about each other or their children, they wouldn't be on TV.

Being famous is its own reward.

Beatnik, count me in as another long-married who isn't sold on marriage. :) If we split up, I'd never marry again. I just don't see much reason to marry if it's not the parent of your kids. (Or for money. I can see marrying for money.)

That said, I have a 6 am flight, and the spouse is going to drive me to the airport. I can't imagine asking a friend to do this. But he assumes that this is part of being married. So that's a benefit!

When marriage stopped being based on a commitment to raise the children and be together (a practical arrangement of work and duty) and started being based on the human heart, it was the end of marriage.

Human heart is fickle and changes constantly. Nothing lasting can be built on it.

Of course, these changes happen very slowly. It takes decades to change the old mentality. But the rate of divorce is steadily increasing, the rate of marriage is steadily decreasing and we go to a society without marriage or cohabitation. A society of single people who visit one another to have sex (and some women have children too).

Unfortunately, there are still good reasons to get married. Other countries (Canada, most of Northern Europe) handle the legal stuff (points 2-5) this more fairly than we do in the US.

1. For some, it's an important public statement about your commitment to your partner. That matters a lot psychologically for some of us.

And in no particular order:

2. enormous advantages re inheritance taxes.

3. enormous advantages re establishment of next-of-kin.

4. better protections re support for children.

5. enormous advantages re property ownership.

All five of these were important to me when I got married. I didn't care about a big wedding, gifts, a honeymoon or any of the bridezilla/queen-for-a-day stuff. My husband did not want to get married ("why turn something private and emotional into something public and legal?") but was persuaded when I explained points 2-5 to him. In particular, he was upset when he learned that as long as he was single, his increasingly religious mother would be his next-of-kin, and would make all decisions regarding his medical care and other end-of-life issues if he had an accident, became comatose or had a serious illness. It didn't matter what we put into a legal document -- many states have difficulty following those when there is immediate family. Just check with your gay and lesbian friends who have those documents, have had medical emergencies and have hostile in-laws.

You're absolutely correct that it is a contract or financial arrangement. At its best, it is one between two people who love and trust each other and want to protect each other against adversity. Getting married doesn't get rid of the boredom and routine that enterse into a long relationship, especially one with kids. I don't see marriage as the problem. I see people's lack of honesty with themselves as the problem.

Your (sic) not alone.

is that they are quitting the show.

that would be the best thing for the kids. and maybe give them a chance to fix their marriage.

if its divorce, then they are as disgusting as i think they are. if they really want to fix their family - get the cameras out of there and live a normal life!