This is awesome, like the Bulwer Lytton awards for song lyrics instead of novels. Marvelous!

On a tangential note, I strongly encourage everyone to take a listen to Julian Velard's take on that Katy Perry song. After listening to him sing it, I can't bear to hear her crapola on the radio:

http://tinyurl.com/85g7m6

(I would also encourage everyone to listen to everything he's ever recorded, and also if you're in NYC to check him out on New Years Eve at Rockwood Music Hall. You. Will. Not. Be. Sorry.)

I don't know what's worse: how annoying Perry's ditties are, or the fact that they get played on every radio station 1,432,786 times a day.

That being said: what's so wrong with those lyrics of hers you suggested?

Anyone who has been in romantic relationships with women know how different the responses different females have to the visits of Aunt Flo...

Some ladies handle the entire experience just fine, thank you much.

And some ladies PMS like a bitch - just like Katy sings.

------------

Truth ain't misogyny. Sometimes it isn't nice and polite, for sure...but that's the way the Truth is...

Truth also ain't something to get your maxipads in a bunch over, either...=O

{Now I'm gonna get it...=}

What the hell's a geese erection?

I can just picture the moment when he thought up the lyric "Fly so hard like a geese erection." There was that pause, the slow nodding, and perhaps the comment spoken aloud: "Yeah, that shit is deep! We're gonna blow their minds with this one!"

And to think, all his friends doubted that he'd get a good rhyme for "yeast infection." Oh, ye of little faith....

To the casual listener, the song "My Humps" by the Black Eyed Peas might sound degrading to women. If you know anything about the Black Eyed Peas, you will know that the song is done with a splash of "wink-wink" and a heaping tablespoon of irony. To get the irony, you should watch this song's music video.

In it, Fergie, the band's female singer, and the girls that dance with her on the video are not very endowed "in the back and in the front".

The song is a send up on women who go through endless transmogrifications so they can date men who will buy them material things.

While the other songs in your column, appear to degrade women this one helps them realize how silly they are to think they can bait men by super-sizing their jeans and tops.

"Your Wife"

(feat. Dr. Dre)

[Chorus: Nate Dogg]

Your wife, my bitch

Your love, my trick

Her mouth, my dick

I fucked, that's it

[Verse One: Nate Dogg]

All night long, I had her on her back in my Cadillac bro

You should of heard her moan, same old song

I made her throw her back out when I sent her home

For better or worse she's

[Chrous: Nate Dogg]

Your wife, my bitch

Your love, my trick

Her mouth, my dick

I fucked thats' it

Straight pimp, no shit

Gave me your chips

I drove, your whip

It's true don't trip

[Verse Two: Dr. Dre]

What's my name, my name is Mr. Game

West coast big change Mr. Fame

Bad bitch scooped her up same ole same

Fuckin in the drivers seat while I'm switching lanes

Gettin brains Long Beach, Compton thang

Shit ain't changed thats how we do the damn thang

Draws down nuts platinum, let em' hang

Wife missin 5 a.m., who's to blame

I'm the reason used maginum is in your range

and while she bounced out wit me befor you came

Fuckin lame you be handcuff sluts I banged

I trippin take em' back shit my nuts is drained

On everything this dick is shootin novocain

Have a bitch waitin bus stop, in the rain

Simple and plain cuz we's be off the chain

Nigga Nate Dogg pimp game please don't explain

[Verse Three: Nate Dogg]

Ring or no ring

A hoe gone be a hoe

While you sleepin

She be creppin out the back door

Comin to met me, at my honey comb

Smokin and drinkin dyin to please me

While real playas keep playin on

[Bridge: Nate Dogg]

Playas play on

Keep playin on

Ladies playin on, play on

Keep playin on

Playas play on, play on

Ladies play on, play on

Keep playin on

Your wife, is my bitch

Your love, is my trick

[Chorus: Nate Dogg]

See, this is funny because if you would have asked me before reading this article what the most jaw-droppingly AWESOME lyric of 2008 was, I wouldn't have had to think twice. Lil Wayne rhyming "yeast infection" with "geese erection" would have taken the prize hands down.

Is it, to quote another poster, "deep shit"? No. It's just some ridiculous off-the-cuff nonsense, equal parts Dr. Seuss and Lewis Carroll. It's a throw-away line, but to put a lyric so consummately silly in a song about how Lil Wayne is the savior of hip hop apotheosizes the very swagger Weezy is describing. Personally, I think that's pretty cool.

Yo! You need

Some 'o that

Down and dirty hump funk

Courtesy

'O

Betty Davis

R&B 1973...

"He was a big freak..I used ta whip him 'im with a turquoise chain..Yeah! When I was his woman...I gave him cheap thrills...flim flam floozey fantasy...he used ta laugh when I made him cry!"

Ha ha ha..!

Can absolute no express how disappoint Svutlana be for see Ms Lucinda Williams in list of worst lyric in 2008. Love Svutlana Ms Lucinda too much, but with her pedigree--her father is poet who introduce her to Flannery O'Connor and Allen Ginsberg--she has no business with put tummy in song.

Alarm bell should go off all over place when write tummy, but how can she sing tummy lyric with straight face? But in Svutlana opinion even worse Lucinda lyric is when she go for toilet bowl for throw up her confession in Ventura song. Toilet bowl have no business for be in pop song, even when use for cleanse soul of obsession.