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Sunday, Nov 8, 2009
I would suggest that any women who trades love or sex for financial security or rewards is a prostitute. I would even say that of a woman who marries for money. The fact that it is a long term arrangement does not make her any less of a prostitute than the woman who sleeps with a man once for money. If you are traing your body for his money you are a prostitute. Period.
Her poor parents. That's why they sent her to the best schools? This is how she wants to earn her independence from them? Why? What's so bad about letting your parents put you through school that you would do some guy just for money?
In my single friends' experience, men who are 5'11" on the Internet...
...tend to be between 5'6" and 5'9" in real life.
I should have just said I was 6'3 then.
I confess I'm confused as to how someone as smashing as Brightstar claims to have been ended up so bitter.
Because. Seems most American relationships are doomed, and I do not want to be a victim. I blame feminism primarily, but also Americans' general stupidity and shallowness.
ALSO, I despise dishonesty. So when I see feminism trashing men, I want to ask what is the impetus behind it. What does feminism seek to gain from it? I know I had low esteem when I was a young man. I was sensitive. I pity young men today. As bad as I had it, young men today seem positively overwhelmed by the negative and driving metamessages feminists send out today.
Now, if I may, I'd like to address his earlier "argument," which as far as I could parse it was that because things "must be AWESOME" for beautiful young women, women have it easier than men overall.
Yes, women like wealthy men, men like beautiful women. This is grammar school level social science. But please consider the following:
1. It is easier for a poor but intelligent man to become wealthy, than for an ugly but intelligent woman to become beautiful.
Yes, but. A woman CAN become wealthy too.
ALSO, to most men beauty is largely about confidence and self-possession. Sandra Bernhard is not beautiful, but she IS confident, and she floats in certain circles many would consider to be quite sophisticated and wealthy. Madonna is not pretty- she seems trailer trashy and harsh. I am certain there are other examples of just such confident women who do succeed in society and marry into it.
In trashing women's confidence, Cosmo and its ilk are criminally negligent. That, or women are just stupid-- it is one thing to have low esteem at 12 or 16, but another to carry it on thru life as some sort of weight and to instead knock men.
2. Even if you were to argue that ugly women can always get plastic surgery, going from ugly to beautiful via the knife would cost great gobs of money. Ergo, a woman not born beautiful has to be wealthy to become beautiful. A man not born wealthy does NOT have to be handsome to become wealthy.
But a man who is wealthy but not attractive is NEVER forgiven for having an attractive wife (nor is she forgiven for being with him).
Again, beauty is, to some extent, subjective. Sure some women are just Capital U ugly, but some men are just stupid too, with no chance of EVER being rich, much less rich enough to be able to get an attractive or young woman. An average looking women is in a better position to have a shot at getting involved with wealth than is an average brained man at getting that wealth. And most average men are never allowed to forget by their women that the women could have done better.
3. The acquisition of wealth has other benefits besides attracting women--it can also get you power, freedom, travel, cars, houses, and yes shoes. The acquisition of beauty has attracting men as pretty much its sole benefit.
Attractive women get power, and freedom, and travel, and cars and houses and shoes. At least when they are younger. But better to have had it at one point then NEVER AT ALL, like most men. Also, women get to enjoy the baubles while they are young. Most men do not get to enjoy money until they are older. Then they might get a young woman, but they are too old to enjoy her lustfully in the way they could when they were 20 (when such women sniffed at these men).
4. Wealth has a tendency (the current recession notwithstanding) to increase over time, while beauty, no matter how great, is guaranteed to decrease with age.
Sofia Loren looked stunningly beautiful at 60. Not all rich men want eye candy young women, some men appreciate the value an older women brings to the table. Too bad young women in America cannot get this message thru their heads that men want MORE than mere looks in a woman. Of course, if women do not value anything in their men other than fuckability or dumbass frat boy flavored power, this makes sense.
So let's not have any more whinging about how easy/awesome/etc. things are for (beautiful young) women. Please remember that the percentage of women who are both young AND beautiful is very small.
Really? A good proportion of young women are quite attractive, youth alone making many a girl seem beautiful. Indeed, same age boys next to them seem naive and undeveloped compared to the women.
Again, better to have had it at one point than to NEVER have had it, like MOST MEN, since MOST MEN do not become wealthy and when they were young, they never were able to leverage any looks they DID have.
this is now changing, young men are learning the 'game' now, realizing they do not have to be powerful or wealthy to woo young attractive women, but this was not really the case in the eighties when I grew up.
A homely and/or >40 year old woman is far worse off (when it comes to attracting a mate on these shallow criteria) than virtually any man, because she has NO chance to become a hot young thing, whereas he has at least a minuscule chance to become financially successful.
Again, why only valuing on pure youth? Why the obsession with shallow beauty? You think a botoxed woman is beautiful? you think fake breasts are cute? Most guys, save for the shallowest and stupidest recoil at botox and fake breasts.
Now yeah, you as a woman CAN find a middle aged guy with a bad bald spot covered over by a rug, who is into sports and had a belly, who has maybe a cool mil or two in the bank, who will be able to get some thirty something looker who was a former skank, but to me that is my idea of HELL, not something to desire, either as the man, or as the woman.
To me, women are either beautiful or not, age nor looks is much of the deciding factor. Old women are often more beautiful than many young but insipid personalitied women.
But of course, in America, women tell each other they are useless and used up at 40. There is NO native acculturation. Frankly, I think our own esteemed Joan Walsh looks smashing when I see her on teevee and she is not 24, I suspect. I am GLAD she is not botoxed to death. Let the imperfections hang out, people. It is what is BETWEEN THE EARS. Joan, as an exemplar, living in SF, the capital of liberal American culture, should know lots of older guys appreciate this in their women (which leaves me to wonder where Maureen Dowd keeps going wrong, but that is for another day).
[so OK, I entertain the notion of being wealthy enough to move to SF, be in the company of stunning well-off and brainy, educated and accomplished (glasses, got to have the glasses) older women, hanging in North Beach, enjoying Old School Eyetalian and a good table wine, Montepulciano maybe, discussing the intellectual fashion of the day before recusing (is that the word?) ourselves to walk back, arm in arm, til we reach our stoop, a Pacific Heights brownstone (?), relax with some good hot chocolate and make mad love by the fire, with the window open, of course, in the cold wet eternal September glowing happy gloom that is SF, (or Carmel, for that matter). The West Coast flava of primo Woody Allenesque intelligentsia canoodling and carousing, maybe on a boat bobbing in the harbor. ...but that's just me and me fever dream. DAMN, blood sugar or something. Time for lunch.]
Much of the initial coverage about Fort Hood turned out to be wrong. Is there anything wrong with that?
The accountability imposed by another country for the CIA's kidnapping and torture reveals much about our own.
Fox News' morning show plays to type, talking about whether Muslims in the Army should face "special debriefings"
The survivor and author is upset about comparisons some on the right are making to genocide
Once seen as a lunatic fringe, reactionary anti-women groups are courting respectability
Salon headlines in your mailbox
