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Sunday, Nov 8, 2009
It's good to see someone who is not a "misogynist" admit that women want it kept illegal in order to maintain scarcity and therefore value and leverage.
You are obviously confusing "overlooking why women might be angry" with "total acceptance of and support for everything an angry woman says". A common problem.
I teach at a small, coed, university.
I am surrounded by bright, reasonably attractive, upwardly mobile young women. Some have boyfriends or girlfriends, some are happily single, but most are lonely, just wishing some guy would like them.
I am also surrounded by bright, reasonably attractive, poor (while still in college, atany rate) young men who have *no* *problem* getting female attention. Some guys take advantage of this (using women like Kleenex), some find a girlfriend, most are oblivious.
Sure, a few coeds are drop-dead gorgeous, and have guys on a string. A very few trample on guys' hearts. But most are nice. But they don't have a line of guys beating a path to their door.
The only way most of them could get that kind of attention would be to strip naked, climb on a table in a crowded room, and shout "Have at me boys!" But, unless they were drunk, most guys would be too mortified, shy or intimidated to take her up on her offer. And then she'd be labeled "desperate slut" for the rest of her college career (or longer, thanks to Facebook). Thankfully, most women don't relish being sexua; turnstiles.
But the myth that brightstar and others put forth, namely that women can have it whenever they want, and guys are never in demand unless they are Brad Pitt, is utter bull. I see young women put out "I'm available!" signals all day long, and guys don't respond. I know countless girls who "hooked up" with guys in order to get him to like her, only to be discarded the next day.
Most women (and I'm willing to bet, most men), don't just want sex. They want sex with someone they like, who likes them. You want to find a woman? Be nice to her. That's all most of these young women want.
There are two possibilities: they are inviting APPLICATIONS, not actually saying they are avilable, or they are saying they are avilable to fewer than you think. OR
The signal isn't as clear as you think. You seem to suggest as much yourself when you say that the men are "oblivious".
Those girls are putting out "I'm available for love" messages, they're not putting out "I'm available for sex" messages. Any chick can get sex, but getting anything more than that is a different matter.
As for Brightstar, dickdworkin and the rest of the bitter, judgemental men...if you guys weren't such assholes I would have suggested you go find one of those lonely women except you would only make their life more miserable.
Assholes get the girls.
Lonely women expect to be catered to. They refuse to BUCK UP, do what they have to and get out there. They are passive.
Good for them. They can remain that way. ALONE.
It occurred to me last night, mulling over this very article (YES! this article!) that when guys encounter failure in the dating game, they do one of two things, they persist until they learn the game, or they give up, at least until they gather up some new data in which to resume the game with.
With women, they have it easy, easy, easy (their looks giving them all the offers they want from men), then when things get a bit harder as women get a bit older, they just throw up their hands and begin to contemplate a life of cats.
Pathetic when you think about it. No attempt to be more smily, or more charming, or more helpful, or more intereesting, or more confident. The exception seems to be women never tire of putting the blade to their body, which, ironically means so very little to most men about what attracts us men to you women.
SO it is laziness, driven by a sense of privilege and female superiority that damns these women.
I am a man, I will never be lonely as long as I chase the ball.
Women, on the other hand, seem to prefer to whine and sit there like a lump.
TONS of guys give it away for free. Many of them without regard to the quality or age of the woman.
For one thing, this is an age and generational issue as well.
But the myth that brightstar and others put forth, namely that women can have it whenever they want, and guys are never in demand unless they are Brad Pitt, is utter bull.
Among the 30 to 40 something men I know, this is what I see. The looker men get all the sex they want, women lined up around the block. Of course these men use women like kleenex, does not seem to slow the line any. (I would not want this, by the way, only some more and better quality choices in women IN A SOCIETY where people still valued more than mere sport fucking, like actually sticking it out with one person and working thru the difficult times together)
Among the women I know, unless they are sticks in the mud, they get all the offers they want, and they can indulge those offers if they are not hyper discriminating about the men they bed.
I see young women put out "I'm available!" signals all day long, and guys don't respond.
Righto. I figured out finally a decade of so ago what is going on here.
Guys are DENSE. Our emotive and communicative systems do not work like they do in you women. You women hop out of the womb in a hyper sensitive state of emotional connection and communication. Guys are BLIND. They have to learn these social signals, it is not bred into most guys. I wish this core fact was taught in school. I wish guys were taught the subtle signals women put out. But this is a two sided sword, the moment guys are taught the signals, this leaves women more vulnerable to the asshole men who take any opportunity to find women to take advantage of.
I know countless girls who "hooked up" with guys in order to get him to like her, only to be discarded the next day.
I CANNOT BELIEVE you say this with a straight face. Since when did it become outmoded to get to know the fucking guy!!!
If men refuse to bother with girls to get to know them, one of two things is happening.
A. Men do not care to know women anymore, which frankly does not surprise me, considering how high feminists have ratcheted up the level of expectation of what guys are supposed to do and be if they are to remain in the pure and holy company of women. So men then just USE women for the sex and move on, knowing the alternative is an endless minefield of secret expectation women place on the men. So if men have settled merely on getting their sex fix, there is no need for getting to know women beyond this.
B. Women are chasing the wrong guys, AS ALWAYS. Since many guys DO want to know women as more than sex toys, it is obvious that what is happening is EXACTLY what ALL guys encounter when they are not on top of The Game, or even have any knowledge of it. That is that guys with no game SEEM suddenly repulsive and needy seeming to women. GUYS CANNOT WIN. Either we know the game and do not put up with any shit from you women, or else we are needy lonely chumps falling into an ever worsening spiral of self defeat, never knowing there is a game, much less how to play it. WOMEN do not bother to even try to figure out what is going on, merely standing there with their thumb up their butt, putting out weak FEMALE DEFINED symbols which have no connection to anything in real life and which, frankly, will only attract sharks anyway, since sharks are only ones bothering to learn the signals.
Most women (and I'm willing to bet, most men), don't just want sex. They want sex with someone they like, who likes them. You want to find a woman? Be nice to her. That's all most of these young women want.
Give it up. Women are the worst advice givers. 'Be nice' is crap. 'Be DESIRABLE and treat her like more than dirt' is better and more accurate advice. You tell a guy to be nice and he saws off any rough spots he had, making him an undesirable eunuch to the women.
The problem is not men finding women, the men that can, do, the men that cannot, will not be able to until they learn the GAME.
As for women finding men, MEN are everywhere. Somehow, it never fails to impress me how some women are marrying and carrying on well into their sixties, on their fifth and sixth marriages. NEVER AT A LOSS for a guy to take them out for a good time. You women would do well to study what some of these women have or do. I mean, many of these women resemble Ernest Borgnine, so it is obviously NOT the looks. So what is it??
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Salon headlines in your mailbox
