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• Saturday, December 6, 2008 08:22 AM

  For signals women send, don't read "The Game." Buy a good book on body language.

  And ignore how she dresses.

  I have had quite a few male friends who have talked to me about the signals women send along the lines of "What does it mean when she wears this?"

  Forget it. Nothing a woman wears is a signal of availability. Women choose their clothing for various personal, fashion, and aesthetic reasons.

  Also, when I read "The Game" I was struck by how wrong they got it in terms of signals. Women are almost never signaling that they want to have sex until almost the moment that they want to have sex, which is usually signaled by undressing.

  The signals I suspect that Juliebird is talking about are the signals of availability to DATE.

  DATING is not SEX. Many women will date men that they:

  1. Want to have sex with.

  2. Think they might one day want to have sex with.

  3. Have no idea if they want to have sex with or not.

  4. Never really want to have sex with.

  Women will date men simply because they enjoy their company and the mutual activities of dating.

  What most of the whiny guys around here complain about is not getting sex. However, not many of them claim an eagerness to date or a real interest in the rituals of dating.

  Look at Brightstar's reply to me about younger men that I DATED. He assumes that because I must have dated them that I had sex with them. He couldn't be more wrong. I have dated guys for over four months and NEVER had sex with them.

  My daughter has been dating a guy for six months. They have yet to have sex. In fact, she has no idea yet if she even wants to have sex with him. But she likes and respects him and enjoys his mind and his company. She simply hasn't decided if she wants to take the relationship to the next step. So far, he hasn't complained at all.

  Before I married, I dated guys for well over a year and never had sex with them.

  It's called DATING. It is not called a guarantee to sex. If men don't want to bother with dating and their main goal is sex, then perhaps they should be seeking Ms. Beech.

  If a man has been seeing a woman for awhile without sex, the best way to figure out what she really wants is to ask her.

  —AKA Smith Read AKA Smith's other letters
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