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• Friday, December 5, 2008 07:12 PM

  brightstar's myths

  I teach at a small, coed, university.

  I am surrounded by bright, reasonably attractive, upwardly mobile young women. Some have boyfriends or girlfriends, some are happily single, but most are lonely, just wishing some guy would like them.

  I am also surrounded by bright, reasonably attractive, poor (while still in college, atany rate) young men who have *no* *problem* getting female attention. Some guys take advantage of this (using women like Kleenex), some find a girlfriend, most are oblivious.

  Sure, a few coeds are drop-dead gorgeous, and have guys on a string. A very few trample on guys' hearts. But most are nice. But they don't have a line of guys beating a path to their door.

  The only way most of them could get that kind of attention would be to strip naked, climb on a table in a crowded room, and shout "Have at me boys!" But, unless they were drunk, most guys would be too mortified, shy or intimidated to take her up on her offer. And then she'd be labeled "desperate slut" for the rest of her college career (or longer, thanks to Facebook). Thankfully, most women don't relish being sexua; turnstiles.

  But the myth that brightstar and others put forth, namely that women can have it whenever they want, and guys are never in demand unless they are Brad Pitt, is utter bull. I see young women put out "I'm available!" signals all day long, and guys don't respond. I know countless girls who "hooked up" with guys in order to get him to like her, only to be discarded the next day.

  Most women (and I'm willing to bet, most men), don't just want sex. They want sex with someone they like, who likes them. You want to find a woman? Be nice to her. That's all most of these young women want.

  —Juliebird Read Juliebird's other letters
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