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Read other letters about this article
In my single friends' experience, men who are 5'11" on the Internet...
...tend to be between 5'6" and 5'9" in real life.
I should have just said I was 6'3 then.
I confess I'm confused as to how someone as smashing as Brightstar claims to have been ended up so bitter.
Because. Seems most American relationships are doomed, and I do not want to be a victim. I blame feminism primarily, but also Americans' general stupidity and shallowness.
ALSO, I despise dishonesty. So when I see feminism trashing men, I want to ask what is the impetus behind it. What does feminism seek to gain from it? I know I had low esteem when I was a young man. I was sensitive. I pity young men today. As bad as I had it, young men today seem positively overwhelmed by the negative and driving metamessages feminists send out today.
Now, if I may, I'd like to address his earlier "argument," which as far as I could parse it was that because things "must be AWESOME" for beautiful young women, women have it easier than men overall.
Yes, women like wealthy men, men like beautiful women. This is grammar school level social science. But please consider the following:
1. It is easier for a poor but intelligent man to become wealthy, than for an ugly but intelligent woman to become beautiful.
Yes, but. A woman CAN become wealthy too.
ALSO, to most men beauty is largely about confidence and self-possession. Sandra Bernhard is not beautiful, but she IS confident, and she floats in certain circles many would consider to be quite sophisticated and wealthy. Madonna is not pretty- she seems trailer trashy and harsh. I am certain there are other examples of just such confident women who do succeed in society and marry into it.
In trashing women's confidence, Cosmo and its ilk are criminally negligent. That, or women are just stupid-- it is one thing to have low esteem at 12 or 16, but another to carry it on thru life as some sort of weight and to instead knock men.
2. Even if you were to argue that ugly women can always get plastic surgery, going from ugly to beautiful via the knife would cost great gobs of money. Ergo, a woman not born beautiful has to be wealthy to become beautiful. A man not born wealthy does NOT have to be handsome to become wealthy.
But a man who is wealthy but not attractive is NEVER forgiven for having an attractive wife (nor is she forgiven for being with him).
Again, beauty is, to some extent, subjective. Sure some women are just Capital U ugly, but some men are just stupid too, with no chance of EVER being rich, much less rich enough to be able to get an attractive or young woman. An average looking women is in a better position to have a shot at getting involved with wealth than is an average brained man at getting that wealth. And most average men are never allowed to forget by their women that the women could have done better.
3. The acquisition of wealth has other benefits besides attracting women--it can also get you power, freedom, travel, cars, houses, and yes shoes. The acquisition of beauty has attracting men as pretty much its sole benefit.
Attractive women get power, and freedom, and travel, and cars and houses and shoes. At least when they are younger. But better to have had it at one point then NEVER AT ALL, like most men. Also, women get to enjoy the baubles while they are young. Most men do not get to enjoy money until they are older. Then they might get a young woman, but they are too old to enjoy her lustfully in the way they could when they were 20 (when such women sniffed at these men).
4. Wealth has a tendency (the current recession notwithstanding) to increase over time, while beauty, no matter how great, is guaranteed to decrease with age.
Sofia Loren looked stunningly beautiful at 60. Not all rich men want eye candy young women, some men appreciate the value an older women brings to the table. Too bad young women in America cannot get this message thru their heads that men want MORE than mere looks in a woman. Of course, if women do not value anything in their men other than fuckability or dumbass frat boy flavored power, this makes sense.
