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Pure comic genius. You are being ironic, correct? If not, let me try to address some of your points.
"In public, people do have some expectation of privacy, sure, but my sensibilities are assaulted all the time when I see obese women wearing spandex leggings, for but one example. My mental privacy, where I imagine bare breasted virgins all around me in sunny splendor feeding me grapes as I recline (apocryphal dream, all right?) is VIOLATED by these fatties. Should these women be arrested for ASSAULTING my sensibilities? I am beginning to think so."
Good luck trying to prove that these "fatties" in spandex leggings dressed in that manner in order to interrupt your own personal, private reveries. Let's try to stay within the bounds of reality.
"The next time a girl that I AM NOT INTERESTED IN smiles more than normal at me, or starts talking me up, or does ANYTHING whatsoever that implies she may be interested in me, I may have to consider having her arrested for violating my space."
Are you seriously equating this with someone, say, taking pictures of your crotch when you're not looking? Do you have any sense of social boundaries, or is anything fair game to you when two people interact with each other in public?
"A redhead skank I knew had no problem exposing her underwears at my friend, who she was into, by spreading her legs apart slightly. So women are more than happy to use this power WHEN IT SUITS THEM, but want to criminalize it when men that the women are not into react back."
Got any evidence that in this particular case, the woman courted this kind of attention? And just how many redhead skanks DO you know, by the way? Just curious.
