I once knew a chemist who named his twin daughters "Polly" and "Ester," and his wife didn't twig for over a year. They were always very firmly introduced as Ester and Polly thereafter.

I'm aware of a Lyric Willow Badgerville, currently about 4 years old. I don't think Lyric is that bad, as far as fruity hippie names go, and Willow's perfectly fine (although a bit unusual on a boy), but Badgerville always seemed a bit unkind.

No kidding.

Saith the mother: "It's the most beautiful word I ever heard."

My mother taught for years, and ran across many strange names, but the family favorite was Eureka Chevelle--whose last name Mom would never reveal to us.

Dejoneria--This was the unfortunate name of a very nice girl in one of my freshman comp. classes. It was pronounced de-zhan-AIR-e-a, but at first glance the girl appeared to be named after a cross between mustard and VD.

Tequila Yeager--a little girl in one of my mother's preschool classes. "Yeager" is a very common last name in my hometown and there's not much you can do about that, but it is still a bad idea to name your child after what you were drinking when she was conceived.

Strawberri--This is the name of the very nice girl behind the counter at the McDonald's on Canal and Royal in New Orleans.

Quo Vadis--There were several students at the University of New Orleans named misspelled variations of this.

Beatle--The unfortunate name of a little girl in a friend's third grade class. Yes, her parents were Beatles fans. Apparently, Paula/ Pauline/ Paulette, Georgia/ Georgine/ Georgette, the many female variations of "John," and Eleanor, Pam, Penny, Julia, Martha, Rita, Prudence, Lucy, etc. were all considered unsuitable tributes to the Fab Four.

The mother couldn't remember where she'd heard it before, only that it had been recently.

Check it out...can't link right now, but Snopes has an article debunking a widespread e-mail saying that African American women can no longer name their babies because it can get over-ridiculous. I kind of agree with you, though...there's a certain "nanny-state" vibe that goes along with a system that prevents parents from naming children the way they want. Sure, Talula does the Hula in Hawaii is a burden of a name, but it won't really kill her and most people (after grade school) will feel sympathetic.

A former girlfriend went to school with a girl named Aqua Netta. And my Mom, who once worked as a nurse, loves to tell the story of the woman giving birth who was told that the placenta would soon be coming out, so of course the baby girl became Placenta.

Names like this are a two-edged sword. For some they create a unique identity and probably help foster a certain individuality. But for many others, their parents moment of whimsy creates years of teasing and needless embarassment.

My father was very nearly named Phillip Morris. "Morris" was my grandfather's name, and Grandma liked the name Phillip. Dad ended up being named Dwight Lee (after Eisenhower and his father and grandfather's middle name).

Don't know if my grandparents changed their mind because of the tobacco company or for other reasons.

My cousin went to school with a girl whose last name was Lear.

First and middle names? Crystal Shanda

cutism can be a pain to those so victimized. My parents thought it would be cute to give their three girls names all starting in "D." Referring to all three of us was such a tongue twisting minefield that we began to be called "The Three D's." Yep.

Dad would sometimes ruefully say that if he had known how difficult it would be to keep straight which "D" name applied to which daughter he would have named us Alpha, Bravo and Charlie. I suppose I should be grateful for small mercies.

Germany has a list of allowed baby names for citizens. Last year there was a court battle in Berlin over a baby boy whose parents wanted to name him Jihad. They succeeded, but I believe the permission was later revoked.

In 2002, another couple living in Germany were banned from naming their child Osama bin Laden.

I used to be appalled at this German law, but now I think it's probably not such a bad idea. It was developed to protect children from ridicule. It's almost impossible to legally change one's given name in Germany, so you're stuck with what your parents choose.

Parents can call their child anything, no matter what's on his/her birth certificate.

(Non-citizens whose children will not be German citizens by birth can name their child whatever they want.)

There's a Shriekia in my daughter's junior high school yearbook.

Yep, from the Never Ending Story. The mother was in our childbirth class. She was at least going to give the little boy Daniel as a first name, but she planned to call him Atreyu. I think she even had some kind of spelling gimmick, so that it was AtreYu or some such.

When my wife and I did a double take after she told us the name, she gave us her little mnemonic device, "it's like, a tray for you, Atreyu." Any name that needs explaining is just too much. But while the kid is going to catch hell on the first day of every class, I'm sure after a while he'll be Danny to most of the world.

I think that when parents consider their kids not human beings with feelings but dolls and toy action figures that you can do anything you want with, it's a failure of THEIR parents and of the education system, and perhaps even a sign of cultural degeneration.

And heck, if the State can restrict what sort of license plates people can put on their cars, I think it stands to reason that something as long-lasting and intimate as a name can, in theory, also be regulated. But it's so so so so sad that it has to be, isn't it?

Remember 'Dweezil'? and 'Moon Unit'? Ah, Frank, we miss ye...