why can't we also have mandelay solid?

Serious, first ingredient of liquid virgin is water, second is aloe vera, third is glycerin. This is what Svutlana put on skin for shave leg. Now just have for apply a bit higher.

Seriously. I don't get the whole "deflowering" fantasy.

I only had one "first time," natch, but I've heard enough stories from both genders and various scenarios, to know that de-virginizing isn't all that hot.

As for vaginal tightening, it's called kegels, girls. Exercise them with a partner: way more fun (and less expensive) than any glorified lube.

The name is stupid and arguably demeaning. The product is perfectly reasonable. It's just kegels for the lazy, or those unwilling to read the back of the package. Are we against kegels now too? I haven't been keeping track.

Sex-toy catalogs used to have something similar. An alum solution, maybe?

I found a gynecological paper with a very scary sounding title. I'm not a doc, and I didn't read the full paper, but the abstract alone is enough to make me think this isn't exactly the safest lube on the block.

http://www.popline.org/docs/144869

Title: Recto-vaginal fistula following coitus: an aftermath of vaginal douching with aluminium potassium sulphate dodecahydrate (potassium alum).

Abstract: This report delineates an incident of coital injury following douching of vagina with aluminum potassium sulfate dodecahydrate (potassium alum), which is believed to promote greater sexual stimulation of the husband during sexual intercourse. A 28-year-old woman was admitted to the gynecological ward complaining of vaginal pain, bleeding, and passage of fecal matter through the vagina after douching it with potassium alum prior to coitus. Vaginal examination showed a lot of fecal matter with a septic edematous wound 2.5 cm at the fourchette, a fistula about 5 cm in length. Treatment included daily perineal toileting, a low residue diet, antibiotics, and advice against vaginal douching with potassium alum.

That actually makes a certain amount of sense. Some men have that atavistic "To Boldly Go Where No Man Has Gone Before" fantasy. And in some cultures or subcultures it's a matter of survival. A woman who doesn't have a hymen can be sent back to her family in disgrace or killed.

In these days where birth control is considered abortion and the next best thing to illegal there's a lot of other old unsavory "traditional family values" on the loose. Purity rings. The Rules. Abstinence only sex education. Full Quiver Christianity. Second Virginity. No doubt the Junior Anti-Sex League isn't far behind. A woman who wants to keep her Heaven-ordained husband and Master had better be able to show that she's a pure and gawdly woman. If that means a little deception on the wedding night, it's a small price to pay for marital bliss.

I just threw up in my mouth a little writing that last sentence.

As a guy, I have been on both sides of the virginity-losing experience. As much of a relief as it was to lose mine (I was very happy to get it over with before I turned 19, and yes, I know that is immature), it was pretty stressful both times. Certainly when I was on the other end, I was too completely freaked out about her being in pain to enjoy any of it. So why virginity-losing or -taking is so great is lost on me.

Of course, maybe that's the point of stuff like 'liquid virgin tightening lubricant': the theoretical thrill of the conquest or excitement of your first time without the actual pain and general unpleasantness of the event. We tend to assume its all for the guy, but I can imagine lots of women might like to reexperience it, but replacing the awkward 17 year old kid of the actual event with her present day hot, sexually knowledgable boyfriend/husband. A sort of live-action simulacra, perhaps? Not saying it isn't still kind of creepy, but . . . I dunno. Just a thought.

I bet that 99% of people who purchase this product once don't buy a second bottle. The real product is the package - that is what makes the sale, the same as with any other cut-rate adult novelty. What is inside is inevitably a disappointment.

but maybe that's just me

*high five*

that was beautiful

Being astounded to see used school girl undies being sold in a vending machine, and between that and "liquid virgin", I am having a hard time trying to figure out which is worse.

"No doubt the Junior Anti-Sex League isn't far behind."

Jee-zuzz: The Senior Anti-Sex League is comprised almost entirely of feminists.

How 'bout dis den: Celebrate MATFE Day... wherein fembots admit Men Ain't The F*ing Enemy?

Howzabout admitting for ONCE that guys endure as much shite in the world as women do and that, mirabile dictu the "fairer sex" causes half the unfairness on terra firma.

Want to make the world a better place? then cowgirl-up and admit wimmin fill half of Hades as well as hold up half the sky. Otherwise gals lie, telegraphing they are not serious about improving things.

Oh, sorry. Conflated this with the post about the BMW ad.

that Salon has no male writers writing about the many products also available for the penis.

Uh oh! I hope this doesn't give the editor any ideas.

My wife bought some of this stuff and her vaginee just drew up like a pin-hole. So, no "mud for my turtle" this week. Now she is constipated big time...some of it dribbled on down south to her BHO (ButtHole).

I got to go cook some sausage.

I have to agree. I enjoy this column, but do feel guilty at the voyeurism (sp?) of it. Still, we know so little and and want to learn so much. There was a great Jonathon Swift poem about peering into his love's boudoir that explains it all.

Still there ought to be a male counterpart to this. Odd how we only talk of sports (King Kaufman rules!) Politics (what happened to Joe Conason?) and advice to mostly women (I mean, Since Who Asked?).

Guys have a hard time talking sex and bodily functions. And no, we think fart jokes are as unfunny as women do. It was a discovery thing back in fourth grade. Most of us grew out of it. And women fart more than men anyway, according to NPR.

So here, I'll start the thread on men and sex. Years ago I had a friend who had a hard time preventing premature ejaculation. There were products for this easily as dumb and exploitive as Liquid virgin. One was "Pro-Long." Wipe it on your penis and you are guaranteed not to get too aroused too early. So this guy tries it, but without knowing it is basically a topical anesthetic designed to reduce feeling. In the heat of the moment his girlfriend wants to orally please him. His lack of pharmaceutical knowledge combined with, well "the moment" left him laying back and enjoying the weather, until she lifted up and said "Honey, my lips are numb."

It is not that we men are dumb, selfish and unfeeling (unless you use Pro-Long). It is that we are incredibly ignorant.

We overcome this with curiosity, which is why we read this column. But maybe, it would be time for a men's sex column.