...but individuals who believe one group of people should be singled-out for derision, blame and abuse are usually called either "bigots" or "feminists."

Yep, I'll concede that men can be boring to women.

IF women concede that they can be tedious to men!

(I Kid, I Kid!!)

:D

I know. I know. this is very shocking news, but the reports keep coming in and I can ignore them no longer.

My girlfriend couldn't give less of a shit about politics, baseball, or the Big Lewbowski, and it bores her to no end when I talk to my friends about this stuff. Conversely, I go cross-eyed when she starts talking about shoes, so-and-so's relationship with what's-his-name, and reality television.

Film at 11!

People in general are boring. This is news?

She recites the same, whiny thing, again and again. And again.

From the article, this sounds like evpsych:

"...the general consensus seems to be that men are less adept at small talk or conversing in social settings, a theory confirmed by none other than Simon Baron-Cohen, professor of developmental psychopathology at Cambridge (and, incidentally, cousin of the presumably not boring Sacha Baron Cohen, aka Borat), who has argued that "the female brain is primarily wired for empathy and the male brain for understanding and building systems." Which would seem to point to the idea that men in general are not inherently boring but perhaps less apt to notice when they are boring others."

Now, I like evpsych, even though the rad fems I've met hate it. I think some conversation is like superfluous sex: newly marrieds tend to have much more sex than is necessary for procreation. It is suggested that the superfluous sex cements the relationship for the coming trials of childrearing. I think superfluous conversation achieves something similar. My girlfriends and I call it processing, the perpetual chatting about, well, everything. Sooner or later, though, we disappoint, betray, or hurt each other and all that processing, that superfluous chatter, might be the ligaments that hold our relational bones together.

Would you would jump on the article and declare it sexist? Would you still describe the writer of the article as amusing? Why not write an article discussing culturally-imposed gender roles and the perceptions regarding gender and ability to empathize with others? Of course, you instead took the easy way out and say that most people are bores anyway.

I'm for neither men-bashing nor feminist-bashing, but this post was terrible.

Most men talk little anyhow & after a relationship becomes a roommate situation, that's what happens & I know from my experience & talking w/ my guy friends, the sentiment of "would you just stop talking" is a common complaint of their girlfriends or spouses. Nothing new here.

I am witty

Isn't this a silly subject? I've known women who I would describe as boring, mostly becaue their interests consisted soley of TV, gossip, and fashion.

That certainly doesn't mean that every woman is boring to speak to nor do I feel that these women need to conform to my expectations either.

If bon mots are your sole definition of interesting, I think I'll pass on the conversation.

My problem, as Deborah Tannen pointed out, is that they tend not to be really good at taking conversational "turns."

Some interrupt. This doesn't especially bother me with my friends because I am perfectly capable of making myself heard. With strangers, it requires a bit more assertiveness with the tac-nuke "do you always interrupt, or is this a treat you save for women?" waiting to be used if the interruptions are particularly egregious.

Some, as Tannen said, go on and on and on: conversation turns into monologue, as the speaker in question becomes increasingly self-assured, intoxicated by his own polysyllables and theories. This annoys me. A woman would have been stopped from going on that long.

I haven't a problem with their ideas, most of the time. There are some subjects I zone out on, but then there are some subjects they zone out on. Fair's fair.

But, as I said, turn-taking is a problem. And they say -women- talk too much. My guess is that -any- time we take the floor, we consume a scarce resource -- attention -- that some of these people think should be reserved to them.

Question: Is Linney Uston male, female, or just a sullen grouch who doesn't like feminists?

of course, "boring" is in the eye of the beholder, but, at the risk of making sweeping generalizations, i've noticed that men are more likely to talk about themselves, and to assume that the things that they do, the activities they value, and the challenges they face are worth telling and worth hearing. again, to make a broad generalization, women don't seem to regard their day to day activities in the same way. i study the Middle East and i am 99% sure that no one outside of my department wants to hear about nineteenth century Ottoman tax reform, but my male friend who works as a systems analyst will spend as long as you'll let him talking about the inane details about analyzing systems.

i don't know that men are inherently more boring than women, but men do seem to be socially conditioned to talk about themselves a lot more, and listen a lot less, and with a few notable exceptions, not much is more boring than listening to someone go on and on about himself.

don't have uncomfortable silences. They have very comfortable silences.

Most of the women I know are boring as hell; all they talk about is each other, other people that we know, scandals, perceived scandals, and rumored scandals. Zzzzzz.

Most of the men I know are boring as hell; all they talk about are sports and the stupid/hilarious shit they got up to while drunk. Zzzzz.

I am fairly certain I bore the hell out of at least 70% of the people I meet, and they bore me right back. At least it's a symmetrical relationship.

A few of the women I know and a few of the men I know talk about things like books, concerts, building things, programming, traveling, and the sorts of things that I find interesting and also talk about, so that's good because that way we don't bore each other senseless.