Letters to the Editor
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is some way going to be found to turn this into an example of male privilidge?
oh say...young men take advantage of desperate older women for sex so they don't have to do the work and practice the reciprocity of a real relationship with a young and therefore presumably not so desperate....etc..
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is some way going to be found to turn this into an example of male privilidge?
oh say...young men take advantage of desperate older women for sex so they don't have to do the work and practice the reciprocity of a real relationship with a young and therefore presumably not so desperate....etc..
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Record numbers, my butt
In real life, I have usually dated (and once married) men 2-6 years younger than myself. They suddenly became a bit thin on the ground when they all hit their mid 40s and I found myself using the internet personals. I send notes to various people in an age range of 5 years younger to 5 years older. I get form letters that are the online equivalent of recoiling in horror from all of them. I get earnest email from men 10-20 years older than myself. Funny thing is that I know they're lying about their age and they are, in fact, older. Why do I know this? Because I know some of them in real life. In their profiles, they all want considerably younger women.
Their usual excuse is "biology" or "that's just how it is". And yet, in real life, on the rare occasions I find single men in the same room with me, I am doted on by younger men. Its an interesting divide between reality and fantasy and math and biology. A man may think, at 45, that he is "old" and not want someone his age or older. However, there are a lot of women who are nowhere near as decrepit or depressed as he is and will appear a good bit younger than him, regardless of their chronological age. Young men will say terrible things about women the same age as their mothers - just read fark.com. It spreads to older men who should know better.
In any event, I soldier on. I am still looking and still look pretty decent, biology or fashion notwithstanding. However, I do not think women are falling all over themselves looking for younger men. I think they are just as conventional as the men are and want to find someone a year or two older...just not 10 to 20 years older.
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This Artilce Calls for...
... a visit to:
http://www.dateacougar.com/
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When I was younger...
I really enjoyed dating older women. Now that I'm in my late 50s, however, date-able older women are becoming increasingly rare, relative to younger women.
A woman's age has never been an important factor for me...
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In Praise of Older Women (Like My Girlfriend)
As a 25-year-old man in a long-term relationship with a woman ten years his senior, I'd like to offer my own take on the situation.
I think one of the reasons young men are taking up with more older women is that older women are looking younger all the time. The night I met my girlfriend, I quite literally checked her ID. I couldn't believe she was as old as she said she was. Decades of cosmetic and other advances - and a culture that pushes women to fight every wrinkle like it was D-Day - have pushed the onset of aging well past the age where it used to set in with a vengeance.
Economic considerations also come into play. My girlfriend is an upper-middle manager - I'm a peon at writing desk. She's had an extra decade to rise up the corporate ladder, and her income reflects that. An older man might find the income imbalance threatening, but a young buck like me knows it's all relative. I'm in this relationship because I love her, not because I wanted a widescreen TV, but the sugar momma effect cannot be discounted.
The bottom line is, I'm with my girlfriend because she's smart, beautiful, funny, warm and loving. The fact she was born in the 70s and I was spawned in the 80s is just a detail.
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Tabloid?
Metro isn't even a tabloid - it's a free newspaper, and a dumb one at that.
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List of Options
Since when are older men going after younger women a "high five" occassion? Depending upon the age discrepancies, I think it's still seen as a bit unsettling, as is the phenmomenon of younger girls going for much older guys ("Daddy Issues," anyone?)
If I were to utter the truth, I would say that older women are seen as "scary" because I, as a twentysomething female, do not want to be competing with her for the attention of guys my own age. As a twentysomething, I can date younger guys I suppose, but that's bordering on pedophilia. I can date much older guys, but they are usually 1) already married 2) already divorced or 3) stuck in their bachelor ways and looking for nothing but a good time. So the best option for a long term relationship for me is someone my own age. But here comes the 40, 50 year old woman with much more money and sexual experience than me, and as one poster mentioned above, probably my equal in physical attractiveness.
So now all the guys MY age flock to her, because her list of positive assessts exceeds mine, and I am left dateless. That's when I mutter "cougar" out of the side of my mouth, and regrettably admit that that will probably be me someday.
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It's about power and control
for both the men and the women, no one their own age will put up with their shit.
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Problem solved
Older women: Sexy or scary?
Sexy.
Next?
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There's a good joke in there
But it's unprintable.
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The problem with Cougars
Can someone please explain to me why, when middle-aged guys pick up girls who could be their daughter's age, they are high-fived and congratulated for, you know, following some essential evolutionary drive toward procreation, whereas women who do the same thing get slapped with a cutesy feline nickname that implies both a feral instinct for the hunt and a possible fondness for wearing tacky animal print clothing?
This is bullshit. There are no high fives. What usually happens is that women like you cluck and squawk about how the girl is young enough to be his daughter. At the same time you are leering at the young men in the room...
But the biology is obvious: older men are wealthier, more powerful, better providers. Younger women are healthier nurturers. Since the woman still bears the children, and the man usually pays for them, this makes more sense than the opposite configuration.
When the 25 yo guy hooks up with the 35 yo woman you are looking at fertility drugs or procedures to make her pregnant, a high likely-hood of twins, and a lot more birth defects. In fact, at age 40, the woman's kid is as likely to have birth defects as one born to first cousins.
But why let biology get in the way of a feminist dystopia? 40ish is the new 21! You ought to have a boy toy (or two) around for when the batteries run low on the better-than-a-man-erator.
You go, girl!