Engineering is a different career in that the people who do it tend to love the subject. And the starting salaries are very good, makes paying off student loans possible (compared to many more pure science and liberal arts degrees). That said, management tends to really take advantage of engineer's love for what they do. Engineers tend to gladly give too much of their lives since they basically like what they do. This does create conflicts with family life, for both men and women. If you cut back to normal, your peers may be at a different stage and still put in long hours. You lose. This is probably true at law firms, consulting groups, etc. The difference with engineering is that it is hard to get out of good solid income into rich since no real equity is created with the company just paying your salary, bonus and maybe stock options. Engineers are slow to catch on to being used up and occasionally spit out. It needs to change for all engineers, all families would benefit. There's little motivation for companies to change though.

Changing technology makes it harder to opt out and get back in, but smart employers realize it is the skill of teaching self to learn what is needed to be known to solve a problem that is the most important skill and open the doors to the self motivated. And encourage family friendly policies such as flex time.

I opted out then opted back in a different area of technology, self teaching. My husband joined me in the transition and it was the most family friendly choice. Now that kids are leaving for college, we are both re-evaluating the family friend choice.

Hi,

I would qualify amongst the disappearing hordes.

After 10 years I quit to raise my child. I am back at work now - part time pure research. Gives me great flexibility - I can work from home whenever the need arises. But this is a very unstable position - pay is low and continuing the research depends on finding sufficient grants. PhD programs are inflexible as far as finishing within a 5 year span. SO I will remain stuck here unless I opt for a cushy mid-level manager post in a boring IT company.

The trade-off? I get to watch the kind of person my son will turn out to become. I know his friends, his attitude to play and work , his mannerisms, passions maybe even thought processes.

Kp

"Absolutely! I went to engineering school, and there is something wrong with most of those guys. They are weird and smelly in high school, never learn to be social, and then think women should fuck them because they make 60k. I feel very bad for female/gay/black engineers, and my heart breaks for them. I might have greatly enjoyed that type of work, but the prospect of being harangued by men who hated me because I wouldn't fuck them wasn't very enticing. Even for good money."

Misandry much?

Generalising about female engineers = bad. Generalising about male engineers good.

Frankly you sound as socially dysfunction as the guys you complain about.

"my immediate reaction to the guy arguing that women have been proven not to have spatial skills by science would be to say "

Hmm.. no offense to the person who originally wrote about that but she mentioned that she herself has Asperger's. It's possible that she perceives others as lacking social skill because of herself lacking the ability to interpret social situations? I'm no expert on it. I only suggest that because she said that every single man she works with has Asperger's, and an error in perception seems much more probable than a 100% Asperger's rate in all other coworkers. Also the spatial intelligence situation, as I read it, I detected that the man may have been attempting irony. Maybe the main mentioned the study not in spite of but because of the spatial expert woman at the table, with well-meaning intention (meant to express: "Look at this stupid study; at this table we must know this study is wrong!"). Or he may have simply wanted to know how this coworker felt about the study, and was not intending to agree with it but only to state what it reported. The man should really have been more direct in either case ans not leave his intention open to interpretation. I avoid use of irony in the workplace unless it is with someone who I know well, and I'm certain they will understand my intention. I often clarify it afterwards anyway just to be certain. The point of communication is increased understanding, not a private feeling of cleverness.

I have no evidence for a bias against women and I have been in the industry for last 13 years. I have been part of many product development cycles and it is grueling for just everyone involved. The world of technology is extremely detail oriented and highly error prone. And the stress of producing a correct design in the first pass, just because errors are very expensive, is very high. I have seen that the sheer mental/physical/emotional labor of it might lend itself to some kinds of people better than other. So,I don't assume that it because I am woman that I can't keep up with men many times, but that my ability to labor as intensely as some of the men is the factor. I am better or as capable as many men and have been promoted and supported many times. However there just are many others who are more capable who win more often. It is also the case, that if there is a good idea and it is presented to the concerned management/teams effectively, there is rarely any gender-based discrimination.

Having said that, I personally feel exhausted from the work. It is relentless and the requirements are intense. I got laid off a few months ago and find myself having no motivation to go back to that job (I may not have a choice, though). I have tried to get into a part time MBA program but I need a job for them to consider my application. So, that is one more story of a techie gal.