Letters to the Editor
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Blame
Why can't men be blamed regularly as part of commentary for every BS story??!!
I'm not blaming men for anything, I'm just suggesting that a man's lack of desire is his own problem.
I've been through the "I don't want you anymore" thing. It hurt like heck, especially when it came on the heels of me getting healthier, physically and mentally. Then I realized that his penis was his problem, not mine. So was his desire.
If what he really wanted was underweight women who weren't pregnant or within the first few years post-partum, that didn't create an obligation on my part to be underweight or to make the effects of our child on my body vanish. If he liked his women a bit depressed, that created no obligation on my part to be depressed. His narrow range of turn-ons was, and remains, his cross to bear. He gets to decide what to do about it, up to and including divorcing me, which he did. He also gets to let his penis override all other concerns in choosing my replacement, which he did.
I'm not angry, I'm amused. Schadenfreude is a guilty pleasure, but it's a pleasure nonetheless. The man has literally destroyed his life over the demands of his penis, and I'm grateful that the marriage laws are such that he didn't take me down with him.
Women of my generation were still raised to think that on some level our survival depended on catering to male whims, but it doesn't. We're better off when we take care of our financial needs ourselves, and we're certainly better off basing our self-esteem on things other than our ability to inspire erections. It's a painful shock to realize this, but a good one, not in the least because it frees up an enormous amount of time and energy. Among other things, I'm not feeling overworked anymore, and it's wonderful.
Men are going through a transitional stage right now, and it's hard. I can see that. I've also come to the conclusion that they have to work out their own salvation, which includes living through the fear and trembling part.
If they, in the process, render themselves unattractive to me (which many have, btw), that's fine. Along the same vein, if my own trip through life renders me unattractive to them, that's okay, too. It's even a good thing. Our ability to survive without marriage has given us unprecedented freedom to explore a wide range of possibilities.
Being unattractive to the modern man frees me up to be productive in ways that weren't open to my great-grandmother or even my mother. It even frees me up to engage in simple pleasures like a good book or a long walk. Any limp willies along the way are the problem of the person attached to the willy.
Conversely, this whole Fight Club/The Game mentality makes men unattractive to me. That certainly doesn't obligate them to drop it.
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Married/Committed Couples More Satisfied
http://abcnews.go.com/Primetime/PollVault/Story?id=156921&page=4
It's buried a bit in the third paragraph under interplay.
I think I've seen it other places, but seaching through all the mess of sites google brings up is more than I want to do.