How does a MAN report a vicious female stalker to the Salon webmasters and have her removed?

I just you just do it.

Let's find out if Salon believes in equal treatment.

As a 26 year old male, I have come to the conclusion that being direct is the best policy.

In addition, as a man of color who dates interracially and has done so since college; it has served me well to let women lead and also to check explicitly if things are ok.

A playful/flirty "are you having fun?" always allows enough room for the lady to set, confirm or dispel my expectations.

No means No. It's annoying, sometimes confusing, but I would rather walk away than deal with a rape accusation situation - I have worked too hard and come too far for that.

In addition, if a girl tells me she wants to "just be friends"... I generally kill things right there.

I am not loooking for any more friends, I have enough good friends... I am generally looking to have a good time. I

heard that line waaay too much in High School and I am never going back to that phase again.

I want to address an interesting question that ClearBlueSea brought up....

I struggle with what she brought up too because I am a guy who has been very adventurous sexually and I have gone out of my way to seek encounters out of the norm - partly because it makes for a more interesting life story and partly because certain things turn me on.

I have not had as many one nighters as I would like ~ indeed my ideal superpower if I could have one would be able to walk into a bar and telpathically figure our who the "easiest/most willing" women were. But that is because a 1 nighter is truly the woman's choice. There are certain things you can do in your favor, but if she or her "cockblocking" best friend decide against it... you're done.

And this is the life of many a straight man... till you develop power, riches or fame - or preferably all three at once.

Women do not have this problem. And women can go out and get laid and many do...

I do not have a problem with this.

However when you combine the amount of work that the regular guy has to put in to get some... combined with the ingrained fear of infidelity and what that says about the cuckold whose woman is running around on him and you can see why some men will not invite trouble upon their heads by investing emotions and resources in a sexually free woman. I am not saying that these guys want a prude, but one can find women who will be sexually free with the *right* guy and that is the woman you want to marry; not someone - who, rationally or not, might fuck someone else and then tell you "it was just sex".

So while it is very easy to enjoy the fruits of the sexual freedom and I have, it is very hard for me to think that such a relationship will ever be more than that - just sex, because in my case, I don't want to deal with the risk of dealing with a potential risk. This is also why some people do not date people who cheated on significant others... they don't want to run the statistical risk.

There are some men who are also intimidated by this power that they will never have... and they may resent that - so it is easier to call people names and avoid women like that altogether, but I try not to be one of those guys.

My philosophy is to enjoy the fruits and to make sure that I rack up as many interesting experiences of my own.

It also makes sense to not ask the question if you can't handle the answer.

Is this fair or does this even make sense. I am not sure it does to a woman, but it does to a lot of guys I know. I once read somewhere that women fear literal things like rape and violence, while men fear things like sexual inadequacy and sissification...

In addition, I will say this. During the course of my sexual career I have been the guy helping the "sexually free" woman cheat on her Boyfriend/Husband/Fiance... and perhaps this is my karmic payback, but at this point in my life I will do all I can to never put myself in that situation (assuming I was open to a relationship)... and if it involves picking the "good" girl so that I have "some" peace of mind. I'll do it all day long.

You should know that walter is a certified True Believer in Doc Love's The System using specific pick up techniques for catching women.

If you want the link, I can get it for you. The case studies are absolutely hillarious and the POV is simplistic: Men = Well meaning creatures and Women = "anaconda" snakes in the grass who are always playing mind games on men and who actually deserve it when they get raped.

In other words, it is PUA techniques for scaredy cats. I will take the Mystery Method-types over this paranoid stuff any day.

YOU'RE THE MAN OF MY DREAMS, you stud you!

Which leads us to the question:

How does a MAN report a vicious female stalker to the Salon webmasters and have her removed?

Why do you think saying no to sex with a man is violating a social norm?

If I am reading you correctly, this man wouldn't let you out of the room (by locking the door) and had sex with you after you said no. That's rape. It really doesn't matter how terrible he said he felt about it afterward. Rapists are bad men. Period. Lots of rapists actually make a ritual of asking forgiveness. It is part of the signature of their crime.

If rapists are not bad men, what is your definition of a bad man?

Also, if a man is telling how good looking you are or how aroused he is excuses rape and you actually believe this, I really wonder what sort of culture you came from that you actually believe a man's "needs" trumps a woman's no.

Like Allie tried to tell you earlier, ugly women get raped all the time. Five year old girls with no breastes get raped. Old ladies past 70 get raped. Two years ago there was a rapist working my neighborhood that preyed upon elderly women. Rape is not about the particular victim. Rape is about finding a victim. In some men it is about finding any victim. I recently read any article that says that researchers are now learning that sex offenders do not specialize as much as they used to think. Many are total opportunists. They are just as interest in eight year olds as the are in eighteen year olds. They rub us against strange women to get aroused. Their daughters look attractive to them just because their daughters have available vaginas.

Prime candidates for rape? Female.

No I wasn't in that room and I don't know him and I don't know you, but I have known many victims of rape. I have also met with a rapist in the course of my work as a CASA. No one who met him would have thought he was dangerous at all. Many women, as a consequence of rape and/or as a consequence of sexual molestation, seductive parental behavior, or sexual criticism by a father or mother, or an abusively religious bias against female sexuality in their youth blame themselves for the predatory behavior of their assailants.

Anonymous_Too, what besides your own particular experience, has informed your thinking about rape? It is not enough to say "Because I have been through it, I understand it." There is personal experience and then there is professional experience and study and research. There are vast amounts of material on victimology that take close and statistical looks at how women respond to being raped. They often second guess themselves and blame themselves and even excuse their rapists -- especially if the rapist is a close friend, a relative, a boyfriend, or a husband. That is why immediate rape crises counseling and a few weeks of continuing therapy is important to help them through the experience, to help them deal with the trauma and to drop the debilitating self-blame.