I'm already in my thirties. Does this shit ever get any easier? Or should I just go live on a mountaintop somewhere?

No, it doesn't get easier. You were on top of the mountain in your twenties. It's all downhill from here.

Face facts, dear. You're not 18 any more and just don't have the hormones to let you fall in love so easily any more. Plus you've had years to accumulate disappointments and will increasingly tend to second-guess and find fault with everything a man does, no matter how he tries to please you.

A man who's interested in having a family is going to find a thirty-something pretty iffy. That's a whole demographic right out the window. The remaining pool of potentials is necessarily smaller.

On the other hand, Match.com has a three- or four-to-one ratio of men to women signed up, and there are millions of them. Try there. Make this the time to finally lose your head trips and to be honest with the guys there, and to take your time trying out a few dozen of them. They couldn't possibly all be losers. You might get lucky and find one who could be marginally tolerable with remedial training.

The simple fact that you refer to cultivating a relationship as 'shit' is a clear indicator of a bad attitude towards men. You might like to consider suppressing the urge to say "let's get this shit over with" with a guy who's dropping a couple of hundred dollars in a risky attempt to show you a good time.

If that doesn't work it's probably never going to and can give it up with full confidence that every single man on the planet is utterly unworthy of you.

And then you can be happy.

I have to say, even as a fan of the film in my youth, that I've never heard it quoted anyplace ever before, and am somewhat amazed to see it referenced here.

I'm so glad you're pleased.

I mean, he starts out telling us that his success with the ladies is entirely due to being 6'2" and weighing...240 lbs.

You'll have to point out to me where I said that. I think you're hallucinating.

you are two-timing her with not ONE, but two other (desperate, lonely, self-esteem deprived) women.

Carole resents your characterization of her as a 'desperate, lonely, self-esteem deprived' woman. She's an MD with a successful practice and two younger children she's very proud of. Besides, she has me, and is therefore neither lonely nor desperate.

I have not THREE but fourteen lovers, all constantly begging to give me hot monkey sex.

What do you do to relieve the soreness?

HUMAN BEINGS still haven't gotten this "communication thing" down pat after 100,000 years. That's why we have wars.

No, we have wars because power-hungry greedy men profit from them. It has nothing to do with a lack of 'communication'.

Oh and I earn $10 mil a year from my private hedge fund and own TEN houses and wear a size 000.

Good for you! Always nice to see somebody succeed in life through dedication and hard work. It's heartwarming, really.

Did your post have a point?

you are two-timing her with not ONE, but two other (desperate, lonely, self-esteem deprived) women.

Three, actually. The four of them all know each other, and a couple of them are fast friends with each other. Carole introduced me to Julie.

For all I know - and I wouldn't care to - all four see other men. Probably not many, though, because they're all professional women and have other things to do besides spend a lot of time chasing guys.

Dating should be friendly. Otherwise stick to mechanical toys: it's more sanitary.

There's too much going on here to be able to form a useful opinion about the study overall, especially without a primary source link.

That said, one part is peculiarly striking: the "I'm seeing someone else" example of "female resistance." It takes a very particular mindset to use a phrase like that and expect it to be interpreted as a resistant message! And it's worth looking into the logic at work there.

Fundamentally, the woman in question is assuming that there are — and that the man she's with has had contact with — no women who wish to continue with intimacy after disclosing that fact. While that may be true for some women — and some men for that matter may indeed react in the intended way — not everyone is like that!

So there's a naivete at work that's worth noting. Why would someone — female or otherwise — assume that their own experience is instantly and reliably generalizable? It's like those people who complain, "Oh, god, he/she wanted to do X the first time we were in bed together! I mean... how gross! Who would ever agree to do that? Men/women just don't understand what we want."

So there's a naivete at work that's worth noting. Why would someone — female or otherwise — assume that their own experience is instantly and reliably generalizable?

It's not. It's statistically generalizable, and therefore as valid as the premises and data-collection methods of the study allow.

Admittedly, the methodology of this particular study may be flawed, but that in no way compromises the validity of statistical techniques generally. To be sure, our comfort level with this study should be improved if there were a link to it and some assurance of professional peer-review. But TCF didn't give us that.

Thanks, ClearBlueSea. Yeah, there's certainly no guarantee I would have been successful with her, indeed, I might have decided later that I wasn't interested, but his involvement just made it that much more difficult. It's the general violation of principles that has me so offended.

Yes, it gets easier, and the best part is that it's entirely up to you. Just opt out of the head game nonsense and be honest and kind, and while you may still have bad dates, your honesty and kindness will pay off.

Kindness and honesty are what got me raped. Had I been less direct, I might have gotten out of there, but I pissed him off in a moment of high arousal and paid for it. It has also gotten me into a lot of unpleasant situations, as men tend to assume by default that I'm being indirect or flat-out lying. One guy actually followed me all the way to my boyfriend's place because he didn't believe me when I said I had a boyfriend. Sure enough, I had a boyfriend, and the guy who followed me was so angry he never spoke to me again.

It's weird. I do great with women and kids, even adolescent boys, but put me in a room with grown, single men, and misunderstandings abound no matter how kind and truthful I am. Believe it or not, for the most part, I am. Women call me laid-back and easy to get along with. One man called me the sweetest person he'd ever met, but it didn't stop him from acting like an ass.

I suppose I could keep working on it, but I'm tired. I am also, again, introverted, so being alone is no hardship. Maybe telling men the truth makes me naive, as someone pointed out, but what on earth am I supposed to tell them, then? If you lie or are indirect, you're playing games. If you're truthful, you're naive. It's a really, really fine line here, and most women aren't psychic.

Personally, I think most women have some kind of switch in their brains that I'm lacking, the one that tells them what to say and when. It isn't just that I don't get it, it's that I can't see what it is I don't get.

Frankly, I think right now I'd like a good, long break, maybe 40 - 50 years. I'm too tired to keep trying.