Someone wrote: "From the time they can talk, most boys are taught to speak their minds directly..."

Such "teaching," of course, is done by both genders. There are consequences, too: A boy who speaks too directly can be slapped, shunned, or worse: "Don't talk that way to your Mother!" "Who do you think you are?" “How DARE you question feminism, you chauvinist twit!”

Yes, girls endure the opposite side of the socialization coin: "Be meek or else!"

But feminism spent decades telling us about the cost of "Unassertiveness Training" for females (especially per careers.) Little time was spent explaining how socialization harms males. Men’s lives were not looked at openly, honestly, compassionately.

Women need to be more direct. Instead of dancing with other females, they should ask men. Instead of clumping together in clubs, they should go solo. They should treat men like desirable jobs: i.e., something they need to seek. That entails rejection. But so what? Why should only men face rejection, especially when they are never publicly admit how pain-filled it can be?

Socialization may hinder women from going after sex, but it doesn’t prevent them. It’s not an excuse. If a man says he can’t change, he’s dubbed a Neanderthal. Why let women off the hook?

Many men avoid taking social risks. However, the difference is that they know they’re then out of the game. Women with no money or assertiveness still count on men approaching/paying for them. In fact, the only women who regularly approach guys are groupies or prostitutes. Sad fact.

If eating disorders are serious, are there really no comparable issues facing men? Why mock male burdens? Women facing mathphobia were championed. Why treat men with social shyness like chumps?

For 40 years women, socially allowed to express emotions, vented their pains. They blamed much on the "Patriarchy" (code for MEN), rarely admitting that both sexes co-create the world. Feminists also assumed that men sitting mutely in audiences agreed with them …and had no stories of their own to tell. A combat vet sitting quietly and politely in a feminist forum heard how hard life was for women who were "looked at." No one thought he-- an amputee soldier-- might have burdens, too.

Feminism-as-true-equality never took hold. It was never intended to. True feminism would have aired male grievances, too. It would have drafted a new social contract based on equal male input, balancing gender rights with responsibilities. It would have opened the home to men like it did offices to women. Instead, feminists sued to make businesses gender-neutral while keeping the home a female bastion (especially regarding children).

Modern females still expect men to figure out what women want. They punish guys who don't read tea leaves correctly. The vast number of women remain “old-fashioned, “expect men to do the heavy lifting without complaint.

Some men counter-attacked by creating the Mystery Method and other PUA (pickup artist) techniques. They figure if they have to do the heavy lifting, they might as well maximize the rewards. If too many become “womanizers,” who can blame them? Why should they treat lasses “like humans” when women treat lads like “initiating machines”? If an AFC (average frustrated chump) pays to learn the "secrets" of bedding women, why mock him? Who cared when he was lonely, when women bedded “bad boys”…making him the “eternal friend”? The popularity of books like THE GAME is due to women in 2008 still playing dating games.

When feminists wanted women to have career success, they cited historical biases. They blame men for creating/maintaining those biases. Then they demanded affirmative action, compensation for past slights, and punishments for those who didn't change. College, government, and other programs followed.

Where is the equal analysis and help for men?

Tracy's piece FINALLY admitted men have grievances, too, especially in the non-business world (emotions , social interactions, etc.). Will federal programs now assist and compensate men for emotional losses due to past biases? Will "Take Back The Bedroom" protests allow/encourage college men to air grievances caused by female overt/covert sexism?

I hear the snickering of harridans whose politics won’t allow them to admit men are equal. They’ll go into high dudgeon if a woman gets called “Miss” but laugh out loud when a man speaks of pain. A female denied promotion gets to blame men. A 14 year old boy in Kansas, shot down after asking Betty-Lou to the prom, gets to blame himself . His broken heart is nothing. Only Miss Thang's stymied career counts. Besides, Betty-Lou is probably anorexic. And who REALLY cares how a silly boy "feels"!

Men need to reclaim manhood. Are they up to it? Most would rather face massed enemy machine guns than stand up to a lone feminist. They “bravely” accept social constraints that limit male tears to funerals and/or game losses. So what if the result turns their souls into deserts?

Feelings don’t prevent action. Fear-filled soldiers can still hold the line. Why, then, aren’t more men brave off the battlefield? A dad denied visitation, much less custody, suffers. Why not admit that and help him? Corporate success is no guarantor of happiness. Can’t men admit that, too, and insist that women make their non-business needs known more directly? After all, a woman who can’t negotiate successfully for sex is hardly likely to negotiate for a better salary, either.

Anyway, kudos to Broadsheet for broaching a sensitive subject…and sensibly including male-positive perspectives. Please keep such columns coming!

With all the back on forth in these letter pages, and expression of frustration by some people that they'll never escape the game, I think we all need to step back and remember that, as with everything else in life, the key to any relationship is mutual respect. Whether you're a man or a woman, just listen to what the other person is saying with their voices and their bodies. The message is usually clear, even if its delivered indirectly or ambiguously. Of course, the older and more experienced you are with the mysterious ways of the opposite gender, the better you'll be at translating what they're telling you.

The Game is fine for those who want to play it, so long as the participants remember that they're playing with other people's hearts and emotions. But if you don't want to play The Game, all you have to do is opt out. You'll find that there are plenty of people like yourself.

And hey, speaking of recipes, here's a great one that's guaranteed to win you the affection of anyone you serve it to. They say that the quickest way to a man's heart is through his stomach, but I've found that it slays the women, too:

Green Pea Soup

The keys to this amazing soup are to use whole dried green peas, not split, and to cook it for 8 hours in a crockpot.

Ingredients:

One pound dry, whole green peas

1 vegetable bouillon cube

1/4 pound veggie ham*, diced

1 small onion, chopped

1 clove garlic, minced

1 medium carrot, diced

1 stalk celery, diced

1 bay leaf

salt & pepper to taste

6 cups water

Throw it all in the crockpot in the morning and cook on low for 8 hours or more. If it seems too thick, just add more water. Serve with warm crusty bread and a bottle of red wine. Save room for dessert, if you know what I mean, wink wink nod nod say no more say no more.

*I suppose you could substitute the actual smoked flesh of a dead pig, but that would be gross.

Note to Treeple:

Perhaps your willingness to do a favor for a fellow cooking enthusiast is actually evidence that you are a whipped, downtrodden man?

I'm only whipped and downtrodden when I specifically ask for it, but let's stay out of each other's private lives, eh?