As has been detailed ad nauseum here, it's not the "Let's be friends" part that's confusing.

It's when someone still calls you, emails you and insists on hanging out with you in ambiguous situations that it becomes unclear.

AKA Smith: You do like games, it's just a question of what kind. You're going for Shiloh's right now, way to go.

The point is we all like different things, and that's okay. But anyone who says they don't like games is lying. What they mean is they only like certain type of games. And that may or may not be your type of game.

If it's not move on to someone else.

Truly sorry that your wife passed away. Must have been an awful time for you.

That said, if you think I'm a "domesticated poodle" because I am married and happily so, then that is your problem, bub. Or one of your problems, when it comes to how you relate to women.

By your own account, if you are not exaggerating, you are dating three different women. Do any of them think their relationship with you is exclusive? If they all know about each other, then cool. If not, you are a dishonest player even if you do not know what PUA means.

Shiloh and I are just internet flirting a bit. He is probably young enough to be my son. There is no harm in flirting. However, should he turn out to be close to my age and as charismatic as my dog -- you should see the attention my dog gets! -- then yes I might go out with him. I would never just make out with him. I am not that sort. Hooking up is something from my daughter's generation.

I think shiloh knows that we are flirting. I knew he was gaming a bit from the get go but the transparency of it is rather cute.

It just seems to me that no one knows how to relax and just be anymore. People cannot really be honest if they are always worried about expectations, their own and those of others. A guy I knew along time ago told me I just needed to relax more and not worry so much about outcomes. He was probably right. Whether or not people get laid on any single romantic encounter is hardly life or death. The real purpose of good communication is so that no one gets seriously hurt. If people don't care if other people get seriously hurt, then there is no hope for them.

I'll bet you get laid more than walter. If you were single ... well, you should know -- I got a little crush on you sweetie pie.

AKA, that's very nice of you to say -- about the crush, I mean. I return the affection.

I don't know if I get laid more than Walter, and like him, I don't compete with other men in that way. Alright, I'd like to be Hugh Hefner for one week, but otherwise, it's irrelevant. There's plenty of you-know-what for all of us.

As for marriage, I'm sure Walter is right about some men being oppressed by the situation, as are some women. But not all married couples are like that, of course. Similarly, single people are either happy with their lot, or not. And all along the spectrum they run.

It was thoughtful of you to stand up for me, but Walter's not too offensive, and besides, I've sparred against a lot tougher hombres (though none tougher than this one woman who nearly kicked my head off). The fact is, Walter is wrong about me, so his digs bounce off of me much like a very cute foot once bounced off of my headgear, except without the subsequent double vision.

Now go chase a single man, Jezebel!

Someone (a girl, yet!) gets it right. Most discussions regarding boundaries and "date rape" etc. completely ignore the fact the travesty of communication (not to mention clarity) that is the average sexual boundary discussion.

"Good" girls must put up some kind of resistance or they're labeled sluts. "Real" guys need to learn how to read minds in order to know when "no" means "maybe" "keep going" "against my better judgement" or "yes, I'm turned on, but I think going any further is a really bad idea, and I'm hoping you can summon some self-control along with me," to "take your hands and everything else off me this instant, I'm feeling coerced into something I definitely don't want to do."

When a woman says "Let's just be friends," it can mean no sex but it can also mean that the woman sincerely wants a friendship.

I will tell you an odd story. My daughter met a guy who she thought was gay. They kept meeting up and hanging out together. I kid you not, she thought she was his wingwoman. I asked her, "So what happens if you both go for the same guy." She said, "That never seems to happen. So far he never goes for guys." I said, "You'd better ask him about the gay thing." Next time we talked, she said, "He says he's bi." Six months of hanging out and I finally said to her, "Does he like you romantically?" She says, "I don't know but he likes the way I dress." We're back to thinking gay again. Then, finally he makes a move. He wants them to be a couple. By then, she's into someone else.

Geez, you'd think these two who had so much in common would have just communicated better.

Maybe most men don't want women for friends but plenty of women really appreciate men as friends. She never saw him again and she grieved the loss of his friendship.

Durian Joe:

Truly sorry that your wife passed away. Must have been an awful time for you.

It was, and it still is, even though it was a long time ago. I'm under orders from her not to miss her too much, but that's hard to do sometimes. Mostly it was hard on the children, especially when they were young, but like I said, that was a long time ago.

You need to figure out when somebody's just trying to get your goat. Don't let people exploit your insecurities, you're better than that. I wouldn't know you from Adam, so for all I know whatever it is you do is just fine.

AKA Smith:

By your own account, if you are not exaggerating, you are dating three different women. Do any of them think their relationship with you is exclusive?

Hardly. They all know each other. I don't take advantage of them. They picked me up, not the other way around. I'm not that kind of guy.

Men pick, but women choose: women are the necessarily the gatekeepers of sexual selection. They wouldn't be with me if they didn't want to be. Mostly I just hope they're happy, and try to please them. I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy it, or that I'm not concerned that the situation could make one or more of them unhappy.