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Saturday, April 26, 2008 12:00 AM

Lust in translation

A new study says "faulty male introspection" is to blame for misread sexual signals.

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  • Friday, April 25, 2008 05:56 PM

    I agree, very fair

    When you hear guys complain about "mind games" this is what they are complaining about.

    Men expect simple direct orders - think Army. And when sexually aroused it becomes very difficult to pick up subtle social clues.

    So you get this frustrating cycle of trying to guess what the girl wants. If you aren't assertive, she quickly loses interest. If you are assertive, you risk being accused of sexual assault.

    It's frustrating, complex, and a huge mine-field.

    But a direct no is a simple and uncomplicated thing. I had a girl give me a direct no after she had already reached orgasm. Disappointed - yes. But it was fine. Just move on.

    Another girl dumped me because she consistently pushed me away (physically) whenever we got into heavy makeout/petting, so I would back off and resume conversation or whatever. This was a pattern on our dates. Eventually after one of these push/backoff episodes, she stood up and announced that she had no interest in me any more because I obviously wasn't willing to have sex. And then she left.

    Huh?

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