Letters to the Editor
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@leeandranolting
Thanks, leeandra, you put that so well that I have copied it for later referral whenever a troll like Parson Jim or Brightstar make their usual assinine comments in the future. Kudos also to Canuckistan Bob for stepping up and being able to verbalize what it means to act like a man.
The stats on unwed motherhood -- be it 41% or 45% -- are undoubtedly too high, but you have to be careful before swallowing raw statistical data as simple fact. A big chunk of those unwed moms are LIVING with their children's dads -- they just aren't getting legally hitched. I have a surprising number of these couples in my neighborhood, and unless you knew, they'd seem like utterly ordinary married couples going about their business. I was able to chat with one such woman, and she told me that she was not marrying her boyfriend because, at the company where both worked, the worker's primary health insurance was paid for, but only a fraction of a family policy was. Therefore it was MUCH cheaper to have the two free individual policies (and pay cash for the child's policy, which was very inexpensive compared to an adults) than ONE family policy.
In a nation without guaranteed health insurance rights, I wonder how often health insurance in some form is a factor in people marrying or not marrying.
Also, trolls are often cheerfully posting here about how great it is to "keep all your money and sleep with as many women as possible", all while barking about how bad men have it, and oh let's not forget they want the right to abandon any unwanted children that their girlfriends refuse to abort, because "women have the right not to have children, so, so should they". Can we separate this kind of childish arrogance from the 44-45% of the fatherless families in the US? Remember that a lot of women are facing down guys like this, trying to get child support, trying to get them to visit or interact with their own kids, and yes, some unfortunate gals are trying to get these losers to marry them. You can only imagine what an uphill battle this is. Unwed motherhood is a piece of cake in comparison.
I'm in the ranks of those who believe that dads who abandon their kids, or who won't marry the mothers of their kids, are themselves "adult children" who Peter Pan-like "just won't grow up". It's hard to say what can be done about this, but a good place to start would be to stop glorifying immaturity and loserdom, and stop making it sound cool to be a womanizing jackass (well into your 40s). A good place to start would be for those who already have sons, to teach them to respect themselves, respect women and to strive for adulthood and responsiblity, and not to become a 49 year old teenager someday.
I'm not holding my breath, though.
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I would prefer
to raise a child without a wife-thing. I'd prefer to have the child and be free of coercion by a female who always acts like she knows better.
but it is not an option for me because I was born into the sex that is abused on this planet and not given any options.
the larger question "be a man" has haunted me my whole life. I finally decided to do what I want regardless of what women think. Fuck em if they cannot accept me or if they want to trash me for not being a traditional guy.
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Re: Hockey and Fighting
As a female who watches hockey, I take exception to the characterization of beating someone to a pulp as a) characteristic of hockey in general and b) desirable.
Fighting in hockey is fairly important. Yes there are referees, and in theory this might mean that the officials could eliminate dangerous play. But they don't, and at such high speeds injury is pretty common. Hockey goes well beyond its rules and official play in general -- the mental game, team composition, and so on are incredibly important. And it's not unusual for a team to intentionally take a penalty in exchange for injuring a key player on the opposite team or sending a message to the opposite team that the team may not attack its players with impunity. Which is where fighting becomes essential.
A cursory exploration of hockeyfights.com, a site devoted entirely to fighting, shows that most fights are by mutual agreement, by two combatants who are allowed to fight until the fight becomes unfair (generally when someone falls). Beating someone to a pulp, however, is not acceptable at any level, and isn't generally tolerated. Both Roy and his son should get major penalties, fines, and suspensions. Because what occurred was not a fight, but a cowardly attack.
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@leandra nolting
Women initiate 70% of all divorces. So far I haven't seen any statistics to back up your emotional assertions.
Laurel962 seems to like the emotional content, though. Typical fact-free feminist opinions, laurel. The next time I see an asinine feminist like yourself post, I'll point out the inability to deal with numbers - a common trait of online feminists.
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@leandra nolting
59% is "most", but far from a compellingly large margin, especially when you look at subgroups withing the total female population.
Among African Americans, for instance, 70% of births are outside of marriage.
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No one owes you anything
But the resulting societal shift has meant that in the nuclear family -- the most significant organization most straight men will ever belong to -- males are reduced to an optional frill, desirable but not essential to the unit's success.
There's something about this statement that smacks of the idea that men are owed a nuclear family (a wife, some children, the structure, etc.). The universe doesn't owe you anything you have to earn it. Make yourself relevant, bring something to the nuclear family that only you can give, and you will no longer be optional.
For pretty much ever, men got have nuclear families because they brought to the table the ability to own property, earn money, participate in certain professions. But now that those inequalities are erased, now that we have equal rights, men cannot rely on those legally-created inequalities to be desirable. What this all adds up to is that men have to bring more to the table - raise the standards on themselves. You won't be able to snag a wife-maid who will take care of your kids just because you have the right to work and she doesn't. Men's roles are certainly in transition, and perhaps men are bitter/confused because what they saw their fathers earning simply by default, simply by being a man is no longer theirs so easily.