Letters to the Editor
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Parson Jim...
You said that 41% of births in the U.S. were to unmarried mothers. Last I checked, 59% is still "most."
And anyway, my statement was that MOST women would PREFER to have and raise their children with a husband, not that most women do (even though, as I just pointed out, statistics still show that most American babies ARE born to married couples). A fair percentage of the unmarried mothers would LIKE to be married, but for various good and bad reasons, are not.
Despite all your allusions to your ex-wife running off with the kids against your wishes, there are far more women in the opposite situation--women whose babydaddies won't pay child support, won't help raise the kids, are in prison, or simply disappeared. This isn't to make light of your situation, only to point out that it is rare in comparision to the situation of the deadbeat dad.
I agree with you that there are too many births to unmarried couples. Problem is, "to be a woman" in certain sociological circles in the U.S.--and I'm thinking of the poorest areas of Appalachian and inner-city New Orleans, both areas in which I've lived--means to prove yourself one by having children. I was a 22-year-old single childless woman when I was teaching preschool in Kentucky. On one occasion that sticks out in my mind, a little girl named Vanna asked me, in this order and with increasing worry in her voice, how old I was, if I had children, if I had a husband, if I had a boyfriend, and if I had a baby in my belly. When I answered no to the final question, she said, "Well, the bright side is it will be easier for you to find a boyfriend then." Vanna was three at the time.
If a man sticks by you and marries you, that's thought of as a lucky break, not as something that's par for the course. That doesn't mean that the young single mothers in the hollers and in the ghetto don't dream that someday their prince will come, it's that they think of the two-parent family as a largely unattainable dream.
And then, when "to be a man" in these same circles is defined as "to get as much pussy as possible" instead of "to take responsibility for your actions and your offspring," it's not surprising that out-of-wedlock births are through the roof.