don't bother. Brightstar is Brighstar is Brighstar. This post could be about a 4 year old girl gang raped by her male relatives, and he would somehow turn it around to be about how 1) all women are evil 2) feminists are super evil 3) as a man he's the real the victim, not some preschooler.

Or maybe he just wants someone to acknowledge his pain, like we acknowledge the pain of rape victims. So, here goes brightstar; on behalf of my sex (who I can't really speak for since I missed last year's secret gyna-election!) I apologize for every evil American woman who has hurt you. As one of my lesbian friends and I used to say during my brief, but infuriating, sojourn into the love that dare not speak it's name, bitches ain't no good.

That is all.

Femmejr wrote:

The moment threats or force are employed, it's rape. Adding the word "spousal" implies that the act is somehow different and/or legitimate in nature.

I hear you. The trouble is that legally speaking, spousal rape simply DID NOT HAPPEN in our culture -- despite the fact that wives were raped by husbands. Do you see what I mean? That is, we culturally could hardly comprehend that such a thing as "spousal rape" existed. It became necessary to make laws specifically targeting spousal rape as an actual crime. Until it was brought out into the open and made illegal (over the predictable howling of some on the right), spousal rape culturally speaking was not rape at all. It was the husband "taking what was his by right."

Again, another reason why I am a feminist... because without feminism, we'd still live in a culture where women who married the wrong guy were going to be raped, brutalized, physically and psychologically torn apart, with no protection. And need I add that even marrying "the right guy" might lead to this, since "the right guy" is only as right as the cultural information / concepts he's digested and accepted. So a guy could watch "Gone With the Wind" where Rhett hauls his wife upstairs to rape her (though of course we "know" she wilts "willingly" once the bedroom door closes), and imitate that thinking he's doing it "right."

That's why we have to call spousal rape spousal rape... until the day that everyone everywhere understands that rape is rape, and when a woman -- wife or not -- says "no" she means it and a man heeds it.

Jon Trott / Chicago

Being an honest person and brain dumping my thoughts onto a page is nowhere near anything worthy of therapy.

Otherwise the testimony of past women, women who spawned the feminist movement, could not be counted either.

You would not want to be calling progrnitors of the feminist movement mental cases now would you?

Right now you're probably taking my message as an insult, but it's not meant to be. It's a sincere suggestion that you consider seeing a therapist to deal with all that anger inside of you, because at the very least, it's going to eat you up and maybe even harm your heart, and at worst, you might one day do something violent which you would instantly regret, but by then it would be too late.

MY sincere belief is to say what I am thinking, to express anger freely but intelligently. This is the only way out of the trap women set for us, you know the one 1) be complacent and shut the fuck up 2) do what you want and become a violent fuckwit so men can throw you in prison.

As for hearts etc, my heart is already broken at the extent of lies I was taught about women as a child. In reality women are nowhere near the good people described in school.

It breaks my heart, I was hoping for a society of intelligent, mentally healthy women. Instead, it is a bunch of man hating sexist pigs who think of men as their robotic tools and their apologist little pussy boys ("please don't hurt me and I'll do as you want!")

Or maybe he just wants someone to acknowledge his pain, like we acknowledge the pain of rape victims. So, here goes brightstar; on behalf of my sex (who I can't really speak for since I missed last year's secret gyna-election!) I apologize for every evil American woman who has hurt you. As one of my lesbian friends and I used to say during my brief, but infuriating, sojourn into the love that dare not speak it's name, bitches ain't no good.

Now let's change this rotten stinking gender system. Together.

"I can't see how any woman could derive pleasure from that"...

Orgasm, at its core, is a muscle spasm, caused by friction against a sensitive bundle of nerves. So, even while a woman is resisting, frightened, and decidedly *not* having a good time, it is *possible* for a woman to have an orgasm while she is being raped.

This used to be (still is?) used as "evidence" against women rape victims in court: "Ah! Well, if you had an orgasm, you must have been enjoying yourself! How could you have been raped!?"

Brightstar? Are you a member of a Men's Rights organization that you think would partner with feminists to achieve common goals?

Thanks for the explanation. That's horrible, though.

This is similar to a discussion I had with people about violent hate crimes. The idea of classifying the murder of a human being differently just seemed absurd. For example: "Evil psychopaths are evil psychopaths. What does it matter they killed someone cause they're homophobic/racist or if they killed someone who didn't give them exact change at the grocery store?" The response I received to this argument is much the same as yours: "Because hurting these people wasn't considered always recognized as a crime."

Therefore, I understand the need for the term "spousal rape" but it just disturbs me that people just can't fathom it. I understand that, legally, it might be harder to prove but there are just way too many people (like Nick Eriksen) for example, who think spousal rape is as unbelievable as the Tooth Fairy.