yea...because men are always so passive.

phhfffffffffft!!!

I think you were born in the wrong time in place.

you would be more comfortable in the early 1800's.

You need to consider that all the anger you feel toward women is not healthy for you. What's worse, consider that it might one day lead to you do something impulsive in which you hurt others or yourself. Normally peaceful people who explode in a violent outburst still face criminal charges, regardless of their past record of being law-abiding and peaceful.

Could this happen to you? It can happen to anyone who harbors anger and resentment over a long period of time. You've posted enough nformation about yourself for me to conclude that you would not fare well in prison. To be blunt, the prisons in Texas, where you live, are filled with truly violent and evil people. They would treat you horribly, and you know what I'm talking about.

Right now you're probably taking my message as an insult, but it's not meant to be. It's a sincere suggestion that you consider seeing a therapist to deal with all that anger inside of you, because at the very least, it's going to eat you up and maybe even harm your heart, and at worst, you might one day do something violent which you would instantly regret, but by then it would be too late.

Anyone who denies that woman-hating is rampant in our culture need only visit this blog's letters section. Or any woman-/feminist-related blog letters section, for that matter. A certain subset of [mostly] men, obviously hateful and angry, tries to hijack the topic in order to belittle feminism, dismiss feminist concerns and insert themselves into the spotlight in an attempt to force others to feel angry. Rather like rape itself. Rape is about power, not sex.

The troll reaction on this site is completely predictable, not special. It used to bug me but it's like wallpaper now, Internet-wide. Part of the problem, illustrated over and over. It actually reinforces the need for feminism and for the culture to become more balanced and equal. Trolls need more therapy and less of an audience, IMO.

In any healthy relationship, there are days when one partner (male or female) will indulge the erotic whims of the other partner even if he or she isn't feeling up to it. At the same time, in a healthy relationship, either partner can refuse. The partner who was turned down might grumble a bit, but that's it.

The moment threats or force are employed, it's rape. Adding the word "spousal" implies that the act is somehow different and/or legitimate in nature.

Brightstar, you wrote:

Men are bitter and forced into a corner today. Women are completely uncooperative and closed minded.

Gently, can we look at what you said there and break it down some?

First, you have made an absolute statement about all men and all women. That is hardly sensible, don't you think? Once words are down on paper or a screen, it is hard to retract them. But obviously, all men are NOT bitter, nor are ALL men forced into a corner. I am a man, for instance. My dear wife doesn't force me into a corner, nor does her interaction with me make me bitter. It makes me grateful, glad to be alive. I think you are personalizing your own felt experiences as all men's, and that is -- again, gently -- an error.

Now to women. Again, the women I know are *not* uncooperative, unless you mean by uncooperative that they often don't see things the way I -- a man -- see them. Is agreement a prerequisite for being "cooperative"? Can you see how even asking a question like that might threaten a woman who, for some or all of her life, has had dullish men around her insist that she "cooperate" (sexually, intellectually, job-wise, and so on)? Now to be sure, there are women in the world who are jerks. Welcome to the human race. But is their jerkiness linked intrinsically to their being women, any more than my or your lack of jerkiness (at least, I'm hoping we're not jerks!), linked to our being male?

Both women and men (some of them) make over-arching comments (sometimes) about the opposite sex, comments reflecting a real lack of comprehension of one another's realities. But the way to bridge that gap is not to assault all women (or all men) as though none of us are unique or individual. Extremism almost always is guilty of doing just that.

Feminists (of which I am one) don't or shouldn't anway think in global terms about either their own sex or the opposite sex. Truthfully, almost none of the main feminist voices have done this, in my opinion. It is usually a charge made by non-feminists who are made psychologically insecure, thus angry and afraid, by some of the hard things feminism says (and must say, truthfully).

Anyway, a long response to a short quotation... I hope you find it of use.

Jon Trott / Chicago

well said....well said.

We're dealing with a simile here, not an analogy right? Regardless, it's still a profoundly disgusting/ignorant/awful statement.

Having said this, the point I believe many of the male posters try to make, and fail to, is the following: Many modern feminists are incapable of objective introspection. For example, in one of yesterday's letters threads (bra burning), there was a pissing match over whether the writings of older feminists, which were hate filled and spiteful, was relevant. One poster argued that it was unfair to give these writings a free pass and that words were equivalent to actions. Others argued that the writings and rants were ultimately irrelevant as they never led to action, weren't taken seriously, and aren't shared by most 'modern feminists.'

Now, we have a feminist blog, pointing a finger at a fringe right wing party, akin to the klan/nazis, that has almost no real power globally, not to mention in the UK. When some try to point out that that these are only the words of an irrelevant man who is part of an essentially irrelevant political party, the feminist chorus is, "[it doesn't matter! We need to shine the spotlight on this misogynist garbage.]" The only real difference is that we're talking about current events vs prior events.

Some of the "evil men" who post, and are labeled trolls, believe it or not, are actually making absurd arguments using language and logic that is often identical to many of the blog posts here. I'll single out brightstar because I don't think my words will offend him. Sometimes he completely misses the point....other times he's spot on in holding up the mirror. The irony being that, with few exceptions, the feminist response to his posts are the same.

If feminism were capable of more disinterested thought and self-reflection, its words and actions would be so much more powerful. The goals, whatever they are (As they seem to change daily) would be easier to achieve and, perhaps one day, the movement would be as relevant as broadsheet believes Maureen Dowd to be. Even if that were to happen, there's no way I'd stop reading her.