Letters to the Editor
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cu-cu-ca-chu, mrs. robinson!
heres to you mrs. robinson, jesus loves you more then you will know....woah woah woah....
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Eva Longoria!?
You're right, Longoria does seem decidedly out-of-place on that list. I can only assume that it has something to do with her character on "Desperate Housewives" seducing a teenage boy.
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don't understand the assignment
Are you seriously looking for cocktails named after men who have chased younger women?
But back to the MILFs. Demi Moore should have a cocktail.
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"Single malt?"
"Aged 18 years--just the way I like it."
OK, my vote is for Jennifer Coolidge as Stifler's mom in American Pie. How could you not choose her after she reclined in that easy chair, purred like a cat, and seduced the boytoy wannabe with the line above--and one of the best come-fuck-me looks ever immortalized on screen? And she wanted him to take her on the pool table, no less! LOL
Go, Jennifer, go!
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And what about Sue Ellen Ewing?
Remember her ill-fated affair with the younger guy in "Dallas?" (JR framed the kid on a drug charge and sent him packing.)
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FILFs? Oh, Catherine...
If you insist on starting a new FILF craze, you could at least have better taste! Robert Redford hasn't been sexy for, like, 20 years. Decades of sun worship have turned his face into a topographical map of Mars. Bill Clinton? Oh good grief--the bad hair, the Rudolf nose, the pudginess and pastiness, the diet of McDonald's, the bad sexual technique (didn't you ever read the Starr Report?!) OK, I'll give you Paul Newman--even though he's a thousand years old. He'd likely need a Viagra stent put in or a hydraulic lift to get it up. But yeah, he still has it.
But those were the best three you could do? C'mon, try harder!
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Lexi Simone
Humps 'em dry to the bone.
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bill clinton's favorite drink.
if you're also planning on celebrating old men who like young women the following might help you.
bill clinton's favorite drink is a "bitter lewinsky".
one glass of red kool aid, a shot of everclear, a dash of bitters and stirred with a cigar.
be careful when drinking as any spills will stain your dress.
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A Woody Allen?
I can't think of what the ingredients might be. But he's the real deal as far as FILF go, right?
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Not a man eater
but I Dream of Jeannie
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How could you leave out Dixie Carter
The sweetest of all Southern Cougars: Dixie Carter as Julia Sugarbaker from Designing Women.
The drink: The Dixie Carter
Mix: Peach flavored iced tea with Marie Brisard's anisette for a sweet southern taste that's just peachy.
To Order: Whistle "Dixie" You do know how to whistle don't you?
Just purse your lips and blow.
For the guys: I'm a guy and I'm not into consuming other guys: not there is anything wrong with that!
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Michael Caine in Blame it on Rio
It's a startlingly bad film, as so many of Caine's films from the late 70s through mid-80s are, but Michael Caine has long been my older man crush. And in this movie he's definitely a FILF.
The cocktail is based on the quintessentially British Pimm's Cup.
1 part Pimm's No. 1
1 part Gin
1 part papaya or mango juice
1 to 2 parts lime club soda (unsweetened)
Garnish with avocado and/or banana
The color of the drink even echoes the color of Mr. Caine's hair.
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Who have you got your eyes on? Robert Redford? Paul Newman? Bill Clinton?
It's nice to see you trying to stick by your principles, but really, don't you think a survey of women's responses to these OLD guys would make it pretty clear that treating everything as equal/the same just doesn't always fit reality. Or maybe that is your point.
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Burtlantic City
For December/May romances I vote for the unlikely, unfulfilled love between Burt Lancaster and Susan Sarandon in Louis Malle's Atlantic City. His first sight of her is as she's rubbing lemons all over herself. So, the drink:
"Burtlantic City"
1 pint of Lancaster Bomber beer with the juice of half a lemon squeezed into it. Garnish with a small bag of cocaine (see the movie).
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FILF drinks
Some obvious ones spring to mind:
The Sean Connery:
Scotch and soda on the rocks. Shaken. Add a peppermint stick.
The Jack Nicholson:
Make a cool gin martini, medium-to-heavy on the vermouth. Prepare two identical cocktail garnishes by spearing a single curl of lemon peel and an olive. Put these, olive side down, on opposite sides of the glass, to strongly suggest eyebrows.
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That Nicholson cocktail
Is really lame.
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Rock Hudson
A concoction of sweet wine and assorted fruits is placed in an opaque blue blown glass bottle and set aside to age. An artificial cork tightly seals the bottle to thwart feminine access. It is never opened, but looks damn fine just sitting there. It is occasionally taken to parties, gifted, regifted, but never opened.
When no one is watching, various men sneak up and take a sip from the bottle. They know a secret, but deny everything. As such, the bottle seems to magically loose weight until, finally, it is empty. The bottle is thrown away once its emptiness is noticed.
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I'm shocked
No Joan Collins on the list?
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You gotta see...
Joan Collins in Howard Hawk's "Land of the Pharoahs." She makes Milfs look like Smurfs. I love Collins.
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the Keith Richards
Wrinkly, rotted twist of lemon in flat club soda.
Serve in wrinkly, fragile glass.
Top with wrinkly gherkin.
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The Picard
The Picard:
Double strength Earl Grey tea with milk and a shot of absinthe.
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The Larry King
1 Shot Warm Geritol
2 Jiggers Champagne
100cc Viagra
Talk for a long time, until the Viagra dissolves
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How amazing this is to witness
The sense of privilege of alcohol users is something to behold.
Sick people have to beg for pot and then they're discouraged from talking about it after that.
The media won't cover cannabinoid science at all.
But everyone loves a new drink recipe.
Oh well, what can you do but endure the hypocrisy.
It's sick and disgusting, but that's life.
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The Greenwald
Green Tea, Crack, Tears of the Unborn.
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The Environmentalist
Beer.
Recycled beer.
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how about...
A Tony Danza Extravaganza:
vodka, lime, ginger ale, splash triple sec and/or rum, stir with long twizzle stick and serve in extra large martini glass.
Or a Bowie Blast:
sky citron and raspberry, seven up, serve with lemon and glittery garnishes in rocketship glass.
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Blithe disregard for latent sexism
It has long been socially acceptable for older men to seduce younger women, and for younger women to be attracted to older men. As men age they can become distinguished and are seen as virile, through the power or office they may hold, or through their sexual exploits and offspring. As an earlier poster pointed out, Bill Clinton is really not attractive at all, but having held the office of president of the U.S. gives him power, and allows people to overlook his physical flaws, which in terms of basic sexual appeal are many, and declare him sexual and desirable.
In contrast, Hillary Clinton has lost her sexual appeal as her power and influence has increased. When she was seen as a first lady, even a highly involved one, she was seen in a much more gentle light. However, now that she is a senator and a presidential hopeful, she is seen as shrill, cold, harsh, etc. She is also a mother, and even though she is not described as nurturing, she is seen as a matron, because she has a child. This makes her no longer desirable and sexual. When a woman has a child she becomes sexless, when a man has a child he becomes virile.
Furthermore, the women singled out as being brazen, seducers of young men are seen as either vapid (Mona from Who's the Boss?) mentally disturbed (Mrs. Robinson) etc.
While this post fleetingly points out the manifest sexism, it fails to point out the latent sexism apparent throughout, and further propagates the latent sexism by reinforcing age-gender stereotypes through its blithe suggestion that we have FILF cocktails.