Letters to the Editor
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Oh dear. I messed up the html.
Bold should end after the first bolded sentence.
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Thank you squalorholla!
Exactly my point. People should actually take care to marry people with similar interests. People take lots of care to make sure that they are romantically attracted and sexually compatible. That's good. However, in the throes of lust or blinded by "love," too many people don't take care to make sure that they have enough common values and interests to sustain day to day life with each other. Lots of friction can result from not having those common values, interests, and even tastes. If aesthetics is important to someone, they should not marry someone for whom such things don't really matter. Mr. Sleek High Tech should not marry Ms. Renovating Victorian.
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I think everyone will admit that money is power and when men have the money it gives them a tremendous advantage
what we need to do though is to compare situations where the money is EQUAL and compare situations where women have MORE money with situations where men have MORE money among people of similar ages and backgrounds. If THIS is done it is clear that women have more power, (i.e. all of it) than men but nothing women demand and get is defined as an exercise of power it is described as the assertion of a right.
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To add a bit:
Ms. Feng Shui should not marry Mr. Junk Car Mechanic.
Ms. Horsey Jumper should not marry Mr. High Rise Cocktail.
Mr. Televised Sports should not marry Ms. Tickets to the Ballet.
Mr. Strictly Opera should not marry Ms. Techno.
Ms. Quiet I Want to Read should not marry Mr. Party all the Time.
Ms. Jesus Saved Me should not marry Mr. Religion is Shit.
Mr. Cowboy Belt Buckle should not marry Ms. Shop at Saks.
Mr. I Want Sex Twice a day should not marry Ms. Once a Month.
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not for the first time, I am reminded of a Chris Rock bit
"Whatever you into, your woman gotta be into, too, and vice versa... or the shit ain't gonna work.
It ain't gonna work.
That's right. If you born-again, your woman gotta be born-again, too.
If you a crackhead, your woman gotta be a crackhead, too... or the shit won't work.
You can't be like, 'I'm going to church, where you going?' 'I'm'a go hit the pipe!'
That relationship ain't going nowhere.
Two crackheads can stay together forever."
Ah, Chris Rock. You big ol' namby-pamby Steinem lapdog, you.
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The Cave et al
I have a different perspective on the man's cave as power theory. I have an office. My wife does not. This is considered my space because it's the only room in the house I am "allowed" to decorate to my sensibility, like hanging a framed picture of the 13th green at Augusta, or a poster of Bob Dylan. My wife pretty much makes all the decisions on the other 8 rooms, which I would consider "her space". When we lived in a 3 room apt she made all decorating decisions. Whether she believes that she is the better interior designer really doesn't matter IMHO, since that's still subjective, and it's just not worth it for me to argue. I think it would be very difficult to argue I have an office because of my financial power.
Now normally we make joint decisions on just about everything else, but my wife does take care of the little things like what town we live in, what house, the furniture, the cars, etc. Needless to say, in this relationship, sexual power trumps financial power.
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Opposites Attract
I've been with my wife happily for 24 years and we are very different people. Maybe we're the exception, but it does prove there are no rules.
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"Two crackheads can stay together forever."
Ain't that the truth. The reason: Both of them know that the non-addicted don't want 'em.
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"very happily", h0tr0d?
Forgive me if I don't buy it. You posted a really passive-aggressive letter in which you describe only a fraction of your house being "yours", belittle your wife's interest in monopolizing the house by saying it's "just not worth it for me to argue", and heavily imply that you're being led around by your dick.
I'm standing by the crackhead assertion. It's just a lot easier to live with somebody with whom you have enough common ground that honest, egalitarian collaboration is possible. Of course, that means you can't whine about not being "allowed" to do things the way you want them, but whaddaya gonna do?
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honest egalitarian power=the woman is not forced to do anything agianst her will=
she makes all the decisions=they decide together=he agrees with the decision she would have made on her own. The end. Probably not.
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you are right smith and holla those things won't work, you are wrong if you are implying
that the intolerance is in any way mutual
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@ squalorholla
I just had a thought. If some men (women) marry a woman (man) mainly for the purpose of having steady sex, they may be concerned mostly with the quality of the sex and not the quality of the person. Their wives (husbands) could be nice people or they could be bad people.
I will actually use myself as an example. When I married at 19, I was in lust. This is both a bad age to marry and a bad reason to marry. My then-spouse turned out to be "bad people." In a way, I am to blame because I really wasn't thinking. However, in a way, my parents are to blame because they gave me good reason to want to get away from home, although I had few skills for taking care of myself.
[Those were different times. That time was only a couple of years past the law when women really couldn't own property in Texas. I kid you not! If I am recalling correctly, women under 25 could not purchase property and women who were married could not purchase property without their husband's permission. Some counties continued to practice law that way. When I was twenty and my then-husband was in Vietnam, I had to have my father sign permission for me to purchase a car.]
What happened was a long term marriage in which we both had little in common and both were unhappy. However, the sex was always good.
Now, let us assume that what some men tell us here is true -- that sex is their overriding concern in their relationship with women. Wouldn't they sort of deserve what they got if they don't consider those other important things that make a marriage work?