Letters to the Editor
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BTW
My ex--when we were both 25--took off with her cocaine-dealer bf--neither I nor our 2 kids heard from her for 23 years.
So I raised the kids alone.
No step-mom. No nanny.
ME!
Did I tell you filthy man-hating libs to go F yourselves??
NO??
OK
Go F yourselves.
Now, maybe I WILL end up voting for McCain, knowing what you libbies think of me becuz I was born with a penis.
Son is now happily married with a daughter & works as a IT pro.
Daughter is a junior at 'state' U--pre-med Major.
Go F yourselves, libbies.
I am certain this letter will get deleted becuz it don't 'FIT' man-hating central.
Go F yourself too-->>editor.
have a nice day
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Congratulations Shadow, best wishes
I understand your ire at idiot hypocrites like Flory and Walsh, but perhaps you can see that's more of one particular nonsensical strain of modern feminism. Us liberals can be pretty fucking stupid, but it's the modern feminists amongst us that really take the cake.
I'm still waiting for Broadsheet to blog about Obama's speech, the one about race acknowledges that white americans have legitimate criticisms that should not be dismissed and that by extension says that Broadsheet and Modern Feminist's insistence that they are men's best friend and anyone that disagrees is an angry white man is stupid, divisive, and counter productive.
A pox on modern feminism of the flory strain.
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Treeple and DurianJoe
I think you both make valid points. Forced sterilization certainly wouldn’t work but we do need to do something. How about if we paid people to get sterilized? And I mean really paid them an attractive amount. Maybe $20,000 cash, or a new car, American that is, those guys could really use the business. Or my favorite one, a college education. And this would apply to both men and women, equal opportunity for all. Everyone from 17 to 40, 50??? I am not sure at what age you would cap it at and the younger you start it the better.
You may think this might be too expensive but I say the cost savings in the long run would more than offset the initial costs. And if they want to become parents down the road they can always have the procedure reversed, at their expense of course.
This may not be a perfect solution but I think it is much better than just doing nothing. And it does take the abortion issue out of the problem.
What do you think?
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Sterilization
I could support that all the way. Pay'em and spay'em. Neuter'em and nugde 'em out the door.
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My mother grew up with a single mother
Her father was killed in WWII before she was born. She never knew him except through pictures and her mother's stories about him.
Despite that, and despite the dire poverty they lived in, my mother was the valedictorian of her high school, who went on to a very fancy college and got a very fancy engineering degree; after I was born, she got an equally fancy teaching degree. She is now retired, and can look back at a successful career, a happy family life (happily married for 43 years now), a well-raised child (I've got no complaints), and generally a pretty satisfying existence. Ruining society? Go look at your average battered wife who allows her husband to sexually abuse the kids, and see who is "ruining society" more.
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Single mothers are ruining society!
Your article says that "Yoffe seems to conclude that we should do a better job of shaming young women who have unprotected sex with men who will not make good fathers." If so, Yoffe is correct. Keep your legs crossed ladies. Children born to young women out of wedlock now seems to be the norm , not the exception. What a tradegy. Ladies you should be ashamed. So should the men. The children will suffer more than you. Don't be so selfish. You're putting the children at a real disadvantage. Shame was once a tool used by society to discourage unacceptable behavior detrimental to the individual and the group. Shame can be a very positive force.
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Is shame going to work?
When I was in HS, one of my peers got pregnant and kept the baby. I wasn't aware of any shame. If anything, we thought she was brave. But, we went on to college, she got a job as a waitress. I remember having a celebratory lunch after graduating from college and she was working at the restaurant. I had my future in front of me, and she had a low-paying job and a pre-schooler. That's a pretty powerful lesson. With no shame anywhere.
And in communities where out-of-wedlock births are the norm, who's going to do the shaming?
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What's so great about marriage?
Obviously, poor single mothers and their children are going to have a rough time of it in our society.
But why is marriage supposed to be the cure-all?
The fathers of their children are no better-off financially than these single mothers.
Often they are chronically unemployed (unless they're drug dealers). Sadly, even if they do have some kind of income, many of these men will spend the bulk of their money on themselves, not their families. They'll buy for themselves video game consoles, cars, computers, and clothes. Yes, they'll pay for a package of pampers once in a while, but if they're living with the mother of their children, she's feeding him every day and paying the rent.
Men are also more likely to abuse a women, or her children, if they live together.
Give these mothers some credit! These women know that to marry these guys would be a disaster.
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Shame Hurts
My mother was a single mom in 1965 and I grew up knowing that shame. Some people, like me, cringe when being shamed and it does us great damage. Some people are less affected and get over it quickly. Some people don't feel shame at all. Based on my own awful experiences of growing up feeling defective, unworthy, and ashamed of my heritage,I wouldn't recommend this. It is simply cruel to sensitive children like I was, and alienates those who are not easily shamed from mainstream social norms as they seek some kind of defense mechanism. Obviously it doesn't do anything to the shameless.
My parents were damaged people, because their parents were damaged people. Mental illness, addiction, domestic violence, parental abandonment and the subsequent poverty were some of the causes in my family tree. My mother came from an abusive household and was desperate to be loved. My father was probably gay, but engaged in impulsive sex with women to prove something. Both were very poor. They were not in any condition to be making proper decisions about sex. They both were looking for a love they never had from their fathers. They both had powerless mothers who couldn't protect them or provide for them.
My mother later married another man while pregnant. My stepfather was a mean, angry loser, whose own father had been brutal. My two sisters both had children before marriage and have always been poor. And guess what? Both of those fathers had also come from families with the same issues of addiction, mental illness, dv, etc. etc.
The moral of this story is that we need more treatment for mental illness, child and spousal abuse and addiction. We need more counselors in the schools. We need realistic sex education. We need as a society to love these children who have only "adult children" to care for them. We need to have compassion for these "adult children" but we also need to hold them accountable for their actions. Maybe some kind of treatment center, not jail, for people who have children they can't take care of. I like the idea of higher taxes for the fathers who don't pay and the money going directly into programs for the children. I knew plenty of people in my life who took advantage of benefits for the poor. Men who found "welfare queens" to support them.
Revenge, anger and righteous indignation are probably normal human reactions to irresponsible human behavior, but from my experience, it ultimately doesn't solve the problems.