Letters to the Editor
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Experimentation
I have run some experiments of my own. When I increased my role in household duties (vacuuming, cooking, dishes, etc.) it was greatly appreciated, but resulted in no additional nookie. Of course, I probably do more than my share already, so the impact may not have been the same as someone who doesn't pitch in as often.
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Once a week is enough?
Depending on your income, you can get someone to clean your house or apartment on a semi-regular basis. I costs, like 100 bucks, and it has been the best investment of my life. There is nothing like coming home to a clean house. For a measly 100!
And then both of you can sleep with her.
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Garters...1950's housewife...what?
Housework doesn't get you laid. Hormones get you laid. Having no kids (a.k.a. lots of free time in the morning/noon/night) gets you laid.
It's nice for ANYONE, male or female, to take a night off and be pampered and taken care of. That's why restaurants and babysitters exist, so partners who wind up being "stay at home" parents can also get time off from doing those "chores" that are part of their role.
This is another ridiculous sociological study. Are there no more relevant subjects on which to spend budgetary dollars anymore? Have all the good theses been snatched up and written about?
Talk about non-news. Go back to work people...nothing to see here.
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Well Duh
Is anyone really surprised that men who pitch in more around the house have more sex? It's not reward sex for doing the dishes, nor do most women use sex as an incentive for their guy to vacuum.
It's just simply that when we don't have to spend all our free time scrubbing the toilet and mopping the floors, we have more time, energy, and desire for sex. (And not having the resentment of watching your partner sit on his ass while you do the scuttwork that it takes to keep a house livable probably doesn't hurt, either.) It's rocket science!
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Household Chores
I sincerely doubt doing the dishes results in more sex.
Sex ain't exactly new. Men have been wanting it for about a million years, and as any woman who has visited a bar can tell you, every trick the could conceivably get a woman into bed has been tried to death.
If the doing-the-dishes gambit worked, men would be angling to get into women's kitchens from the world "Hi." Women love to SAY that is the way to get them into bed. Yeah right, and I floss every day and never eat fried food.
I'll believe it the day I am sitting in a bar and watch a man approach a woman and say, "Babe, I got a bottle of Dawn in the car," and she gets up and leaves with him.
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Does Anyone Want to Do the Dishes?
I am 62 and have shared housework equally with two husbands since I was 23. Over the years my attitude toward housework has changed dramatically. When I can do it on my own time (and not under a deadline because we are entertaining), I find housework relaxing, conducive to thinking, planning what to write in my blog, meditating, remembering, working through problems. Using my hands seems to liberate my mind. Gardening offers similar pleasures. My abysmal standards help greatly; I am talking about a relatively short period of time. When I was a mother of four daughters, taming the chaos was not so relaxing. Then my idea of a night out on the town was going to the supermarket by myself.
I am puzzled why people try to avoid physical labor at home and then go to gyms instead. I would rather spend three hours doing housework than one hour at the gym, whose atmosphere I hate. I do think we undervalue physical labor and the people who perform it. Neither my husband or I have any trouble getting laid:)
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Housework doesn't get you laid. Hormones get you laid.
I firmly believe that seeing my husband pick up his clothes, do the dishes, or feed the cat, creates a hormonal surge, resulting in unbridled lust consummated soon after the kids are in bed for the night.
My husband reports similar surges seeing me snow-blow the driveway or handle power tools to complete home repairs.
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but seriously
doing an extra chore or two (by either partner), unasked and without obvious expectation of a reward, is a show of consideration, love and respect. What's sexier than that?
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Let me get this straight
When women do housework, dressed in high heels and garters, no less, men don't find it sexy. Men don't like their partners to be subservient.
BUT when men do housework, women find that sexy. Women must like their partners to be subservient.
Jeez, guys, what is this, a custom made post for Brightstar, or what?
The contradictions are glaring, and I think the base assertion is stupid. I start to believe in a femi-nazi agenda when I read this stuff.
Women: housework is not sexy, relax on the couch. Men: housework makes you sexy, get to work.
Fucking dumb.
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tina
I think the actual situation is *much* deeper than you or the article portray it.
It's not that housework is "sexy" or anyone is being "subservient": it's that a partner takes time to make life a little easier for their partner.
In most households in 21st century America, women still do more housework than men (but feel free to reverse the terms "man" and "woman" if your household is different). When men take up more of this role, women notice. Partly because it means less work for the woman, and partly because it shows care and consideration from the man. And partly because the man is behaving contrary to gender stereotype.
Those "50's housewife" acts listed in he article really aren't in the same vein. How likely is anyone going to notice that wifey changed for dinner? How hard is it for a guy to open his own beer after work? I don't see these acts as being inherently helpful to one's partner. Example: If I took my husband's shoes off for him, I think he'd assume I was passively-aggressively suggesting he's an idiot who can't take off his own shoes, but is instead dirtying my nice clean floor. The "50's housewife" drag can be perilously close to "nagging mom". Yech.
*But*, when I pick up my husband's dry cleaning, mow the lawn, or do something else that makes his day less hectic, he feels similarly cared for. Much more practical, and helpful, expression of affection me donning pearls while I vacuum.