Letters to the Editor

The sexual politics of household chores One writer reenacts a day in the life of a 1950s housewife. Meanwhile, will doing the dishes get men laid? Sarah Hepola [2008-03-10]

• tina

  I think the actual situation is *much* deeper than you or the article portray it.

  It's not that housework is "sexy" or anyone is being "subservient": it's that a partner takes time to make life a little easier for their partner.

  In most households in 21st century America, women still do more housework than men (but feel free to reverse the terms "man" and "woman" if your household is different). When men take up more of this role, women notice. Partly because it means less work for the woman, and partly because it shows care and consideration from the man. And partly because the man is behaving contrary to gender stereotype.

  Those "50's housewife" acts listed in he article really aren't in the same vein. How likely is anyone going to notice that wifey changed for dinner? How hard is it for a guy to open his own beer after work? I don't see these acts as being inherently helpful to one's partner. Example: If I took my husband's shoes off for him, I think he'd assume I was passively-aggressively suggesting he's an idiot who can't take off his own shoes, but is instead dirtying my nice clean floor. The "50's housewife" drag can be perilously close to "nagging mom". Yech.

  *But*, when I pick up my husband's dry cleaning, mow the lawn, or do something else that makes his day less hectic, he feels similarly cared for. Much more practical, and helpful, expression of affection me donning pearls while I vacuum.

  -- Juliebird
  [Read Juliebird's other letters]
  Permalink Flag Monday, March 10, 2008 09:28 AM
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