Letters to the Editor
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Youth is wasted on the young, experience on the old
Younger people don't tend to value experience because they don't have much, they don't even have the experience of having experience, so it's difficult to really value it.
Very true. As you get older, you get better at thinking inside the box; many lose sight of the need to throw the box away and start over.
The young will never understand the old, too much has changed. I think that's progress.
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Can I throw another hand grenade into the room?
I mean, as long as we're airing our feminist dirty laundry here...
As a lesbian, a/k/a a casual outside observer to this whole heterosexual phenomenon, I have to say there's always been something about certain feminist attitudes that I feel totally alienated from. I sometimes find myself thinking, "Are they this angry at men because they have to sleep with them?" If so, I suppose it's understandable; I sleep with my partner, and we have no shortage of arguments about who's doing more than their fair share of shopping/cooking/housework/child care. But when we argue, it's not like there's this ideology that goes along with it.
Several of my heterosexual female colleagues in the Army seemed to create a lot of problems for themselves by slutting around, sometimes with the lower enlisteds (which is a big no-no), motivated by what appeared to be a concern on their part that they were no longer attractive. I think I would have actually had a much easier time of it than they did if it hadn't been for the Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy, because I was able to just do my job without much concern about how this would affect my dating or sex life. I had a chaplain once tell me, "You know what I really admire about you? You're a good officer, and yet you've maintained your femininity." (My response, "Uh...thanks?"). I have no idea how I pulled this off, whatever he thinks I accomplished, but I can assure you it was not by conscious design. I really couldn't have cared less whether people thought I was still feminine as long as I didn't get investigated for being a dyke.
There seem to be a lot of concerns within the feminist community that I've just never shared. Take pornography, for example. It has never dawned on me to care what it is that guys jack off to. I'm sure that we have male friends who jack off to imagining what it is that my partner and I do in bed (which probably, incidentally, bears little or no resemblance to reality)...but I find this, at most, a source of amusement. I don't see a correlation between pornography and violence; I think people who are prone to violence are prone to violence, and there are many, many more guys who are into truly weird and disturbing forms of pornography than are prone to violence. I don't even necessarily see a correlation between sexism and domestic violence...mostly because studies have shown that domestic violence is every bit as prevalent in same-sex relationships as in heterosexual ones. Sexism can affect how the system *responds* to domestic violence, but not necessarily the violence itself. I think some people are just wired to abuse their intimate partners.
In general, it's hard for me to relate to this concept that as a woman I can't be viewed as an object of sexual desire without being diminished as a person...'cause my partner and I do it every day. I agree there's a time and a place to deal with and express sexual desire, but I can't even say that this is not something that should ever come up in the workplace, because quite frankly, plenty of us hook up at work.
I think I could make a decent case that the first woman president ought to be a lesbian. No hubby to deal with, takes a lot of these concerns right off the table. What do you all think?
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How about Competent?
I don't CARE what the next president is as long as it's COMPETENT and HONEST.
I've never felt diminished by being considered attractive, as long as "attractive" is PART of the package, not the only thing of value.
But I always ran afoul of the "how can you be a feminist, you love clothes" types. There are -some-, or were -some-, not many.
What it's left me with is a distrust of symbols.
Uncle Fester...and there are those of us who are lateral thinkers and forget where we put the box!
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@Greeneyedkzin
there are those of us who are lateral thinkers and forget where we put the box! Yes, part of the problem is that there are too many boxes.
You sound like my kind of person. I much enjoyed your exchange with captainlarab. She's usually thought provocative and a self-admitted bombthrower.
Actually, what I was thinking of -- and what I worry about -- is the hero-on-horseback syndrome. I'm seeing that with the Obamaphiles, and I distinguish between hero-on-horseback (either gender) and intense personal loyalty. If people feel one, but express themselves (not you) in terms of the other, I can only read what's on the screen.
Funny, I think the opposite about Hillary and her fans. She's going to fight, fight, fight, and everyone else can watch TV. Of course, the reality is that neither is true. But it's hard to tell when you live in a room full of mirrors.
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Funny thing is, lesbians used to have their dress code as well
There was a time when motorcycle jackets were standard issue, the only authorized footwear was by Birkenstock, and if you deviated, you were out of uniform. The "lipstick lesbians," hoo boy, they hated 'em. Thought they were some sort of undercover agents, never occurred to them that there are lesbians who really like to dress that way. Then suddenly it became trendy to look feminine and pretty, and a whole new class structure emerged in which the pretty feminine ones played the role of the light-skinned black people, the ones who could "pass." Boxes within boxes within boxes...
Hey! I don't throw bombs just for the sake of seeing if I can rile people up. I joined this thread strictly in self-defense.
But as long as I'm here...
Here's another one that irritates me: Feminists who keep lesbians at arms' length because they themselves don't want to be stereotyped as lesbians. Female-to-female homophobia is really different than male-to-male homophobia; it's less about being afraid to bend over in the shower and more like, "You're making us all look bad." To which I would respond, I hate that stereotype too, but don't blame me for it!
Once, a gay guy, knowing I'm a lesbian, made some comment to suggest that Condi Rice was a member of the "family," and I totally jumped down his throat: "How dare you! How dare you just assume that a successful single career woman must be a lesbian!" (Oh, boy, you should have seen the look on his face; I think I shorted out part of his brain).
So, I hate the stereotype to, but don't kick me out of the club over it! What, you're going to banish me to the gay boys' club? You think they're any less sexist than the straight guys? It's worse, because with that crowd you can't even cash in on your good looks! They outnumber us 10 to 1, like all women we still earn 75 cents to their dollar, and most of the time they're not even going to notice when we enter or leave a room (unless we're wearing Prada). Sigh...