Letters to the Editor
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Really? No college rapes?
I guess I must have misheard all of my female friends who had either been raped or had a friend raped in college. Yes, every woman I knew in college and graduate school was either raped of had a friend who was raped. Then there was the frat boy who made a habit of holding women prisoner in his room (they only prosecuted him for three of them). Of course he was actually expelled when he was subsequently caught cheating in a class taught by one of my dissertation committee members; rape and false imprisonment were not enough to concern the administration. It's so nice to know none of that sort of thing really happens.
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You know, if women enjoy sex...
...say, with toys and "sex positive attitudes," that means the idea of "gray area" sex might disappear - in other words, they'll know whether they wanted it or not. I have a feeling that this Heather-whoever must find that a negative.
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Second the Above
A few years after college, I began to become extremely concerned as it seemed like everyone of my good female friends and a few of my female relatives admitted/told me about being raped during school. There is a serious crisis in this country, especially on college campuses. Denying it solves nothing. Most men do not ever come close to this. But some do, and their lives are made easier by rape apologists who want to blame everyone but the rapist.
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Recreational sex? What's the problem?
Why do some people have such a problem with this? I think I can answer my own question: It's due to their own sexual repression. Everything is pornographic to them (for example,) because they're basically sexless themselves.
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Let me say something horrible: I could rape Ms. MacDonald if I wanted to.
I have the strength and skills to beat Ms. MacDonald senseless and rape her, even if she was wearing a burqua. There would be nothing she could do to stop me.
This woman is delusional. Worse, she minimizes what is among the worst of crimes. I do not care if a woman walks down a dark alley wearing a miniskirt and no top. Nothing, and that means NOTHING, justifies or excuses rape.
What year are we in? 2008? Sorry, but when I read stuff like this I wonder if we're still in 1008, or just plain 8.
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@ Durian Joe
you also are capable of getting an M-16 & mowing down hundreds of random people.
Here's to hoping THAT crazed, wierd-assed thought doesn't come into your strange mind...
Cheers!
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Rape has degrees, just like murder
Oh boy, I bet I get misunderstood for this comment! So I'll admit up front that I am an old fogey male, and further add that I think drunks are idiots and that far too many men treat women like cattle to roundup and brand like prizes at the county fair.
Having said that, there is a difference between some nutjob on the prowl for women to rape using a knife or gun or just plain sheer size, and drunk college students. If the woman was too drunk to protest, I'd guess odds are the man was pretty plastered too.
We have all seen plenty of drunks who are out of control. They knock over furniture, bump into people, speak slowly and loudly and can't understand anyone else, and last but not least, they drive when they shouldn't and sometimes kill people. It would not surprise me in the least if many of these college rapes are simply the result of too semi-conscious people out of control and as incapable of understanding "NO" as they are in saying it.
It may still be rape, but it's like the difference between pre-meditated first degree homicide and negligent manslaughter (or whatever it would be called) by a drunk driver. The law doesn't call it first degree murder when that same drunk man kills someone while driving; why should all rapes be in one category?
I doubt that's what the dipshit meant though. She sounds like another Ann Coulter, ashamed of being a human being and doing her best to degrade the entire human race (or at least the female half) in order to drag everyone down to her level and feel a bit justified in her low self-esteem.
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Gray-rape
Agreed - the referenced article is understandably spittle-inducing. The tone and approach undermine any positive points that it could have raised. Such as there is indeed a gray area in some circumstances, and the cut-and-dried definitions of the law aren't perfectly suited to the sometimes complex situations the world presents.
In my opinion, the best way to deal with the issue of gray-rape is to strip away the grayness. The matter of consent needs to be crystal clear. If a person is being subjected to behavior they don't consent to, they need to firmly state that, at the top of their lungs if the situation demands it. If unable to prevent it, then the next thing a victim should do is immediately take the matter to law enforcement officials, in the same way they would any other form of physical assault. Rape is a serious crime, and an unambiguous rapist is a threat to the community at large and must be dealt with.
When charges are brought under questionable circumstances, it undermines the credibility of people who were unquestionably victimized. I think we would all agree this is a bad thing.
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Well, if it was MacDonald sitting in the rape crisis center...
as the counselor I had to talk to, no wonder she thinks it's a lonely job. I wouldn't spend 5 minutes with her no matter what had happened to me.
I actually was a sexual assault crisis counselor in college. Granted, this was quite a while ago. But while I didn't often get people coming during official hours, once people (not just women) knew I was a rape counselor, I heard about all sorts of incidents. There was something about going to the official counseling center that put people off, but talking to me (or fellow counselors) informally outside the office was ok.
Also, I know my personal experience is not necessarily statistically representative, but I didn't hear about a whole lot of 'we were both drunk and now I wish I hadn't done it' stories. Most of them had nothing like a 'gray area' about it.
Mostly, MacDonald's riff is a very, very old one; she's just repackaged the 'she had it coming' trope. What is inexplicable is that she got an LA Times Op-Ed out of it. Evidently they'll print anything.