Letters to the Editor
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Bravo TCF
good analysis
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I will read the study
It sounds like progress. My sons are very different from me and they live in a different taken-for-granted reality. My 1960's generation of midwestern friends believed that sex was the ultimate objective of all interactions with girls -- and that anything short of physical resistance was the green light for consumate sexual intercourse.
My sons and their friends are certainly interested in sex. They just aren't consumed by it. I guess I blame the feminists. First!
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sex is fun.
young people should do it whenever they want.
but every girl should have "wear a condom!" tattooed on her forehead, every boy should have "i'm a liar!" tattooed on his.
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Yeah, boys are tender
Just spend an afternoon reading Yahoo Answers.
Well, maybe that's a little flippant, but I've known many a teenage boy who's had his heart broken - and had no reason to lie to me.
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When I was a young whippersnapper...
Personally, I have to say I was as much looking for love as anything else. Granted you tend to think with the wrong head and the two concepts are hopelessly blurred in hormone induced euphoria you exist in, but still, "amour" really was the ultimate goal.
However, I was also a lot more selfish and perhaps a tad amoral then. All was fair in love and war, but that seemed to be practiced by both sides of the aisle. That someone might get hurt in the pursuit was all part of the game, and frankly it was me more often than not who was the sufferer.
In the end though, even at that tender age, I was looking for a soul mate to settle down with. In fact, I almost believe you have to be that idealistic age believe in "soul mate"s. Such is the passion and idealism of the teens - love, sex, and all.
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Maybe not sex crazed...
.. but show me a teenage boy who does not masturbate a minimum of daily and I will show you a liar.
Sex with girls and the idea thereof is thrilling, but may also be scary as girls are weird creatures with, like, totally irrational behavior.
Teenage boys do want to have sex, because they want to know that they are normal, that they are not repulsive, and when a bit more advanced in sexual studies, they want to know that they are good lovers, that their penis is large enough to satisfy a woman, and lots of other adolescent stuff.
Their interest in smutty jokes and viewing pictures of naked women is a way of defusing these anxieties.
It is true that it is not all about sexual satisfaction through the act of intercourse, because most girls would soon get bored with sex ten times a day and leave him to his own devices.
Of course, I was never a teenage boy, so I am guessing.
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yes yes we know, if boys weren't ruined by culture everyone would be like girls and
the world would be paradise for everyone. It is true that for all practical purposes a society which forces boys to act and think like girls, or pretend to, or risk social ostracism may produce "good" behavior; who cares what is in their unconscious. It is ironic though that the very thing that makes this pretzel like, sincere, conformity by males possible, which is the ability, need, to do ANYTHING FOR SEX is the very difference which is being denied (and made use of at the same time). Slick. and it seems to be working too.
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Maybe women don't get it...
Teenaged boys are obsessed with sex and would like to have it with many different partners. Teenaged boys want someone they can love and have a stable relationship with. (I know this because I haven't changed much since I was a teenager many decades ago). These two things are not contradictory to the male mind.
For boys It is easier, and more fun, to discuss sex, so that's what you will hear them talking about the most. For girls it is easier and more fun to discuss their fantasies about marriage and relationships, so that is what they talk about. To a certain degree this is an innate difference, but social custom probably has more to do with it.
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What surprises me
is that this should be a revelation about boys. Sure, if some boy has it so easy he has girls falling over him, he will at first be intimidated, wanting some connection with the girl first. But after a while, a boy like that will begin to see sex as the end result after all.
Also, lots of young guys, now more than ever, probably were trained to be so soft and wussy that they do not realize they still need to initiate things with a girl lest she convince herself he is not after sex AT ALL.
Things do not just happen for most guys. The sexiest guys being chased by the hottest most sexually active girls do not need to know what to do, they learn to initiate because they see it coming for them.
But for the middle of the road guys, those who are cute and who occasionally might generate interest in a girl who is attractive and potentially interested in sex but who is too shy to initiate, often those guys will muddle, as I did at that age, and not make those moves, efforts, the wooing to cement the deal that they might otherwise make except that they are trained by female dominated schools that these things just 'happen'.
Love is always foremost for both sexes at that age. Guys tend to be more integrated about sex and love, one follows the other, whereas girls see it as love and sex being two distinct things, they love some guys, and have sex with some guys.
I saw it over and over in the girls when I was in HS. Culminating in one of my female friends turned sometime girlfriend finally geting her virginity broken by my asshole friend who did not give a flip about her but who naturally knew how to woo her into bed.
there are always the predatory boys, who seem to be genetically programmed to act accordingly to get the most efficient poon out of the most girls. But most guys who are average need to be taught to be more formidable, more proactive, more 'manly' rather than being the soft male so often encouraged in school.