Letters to the Editor
-
Language police on the beat
But wait, Clinton fires back with a syllabic salvo of her own...
"My opponent's tired ejaculations will fail to penetrate the American electorate. Though he has been cocky, rest assured: he's going down! Offering a program both hard and firm, instead of flaccid oral dickering, I will turn our turgid political system on its backside! Business and government make natural bedfellows, come what may, and encouraging intimate generative relationships between these two partners is what I will do. The wanton consummation of American desires must not take a back seat to economic promiscuity! By screwing with American dreams, tempting them with his shady smooth talk, my opponent flirts with a democratic dalliance that may incite the passions, but avoids the messy details vital to working out the kinks in our system. I will not tolerate the ongoing defilement, plan to put that to bed, and declare in no uncertain terms: It's the Morning After in America!"
Just kidding. Barely.