Letters to the Editor
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And another thing
I just have to say one more thing to Ms. Tina,
I think it's fucked up for you to call me unclean, like I'm a piece of pork. I think in your sad little mind, you would prefer the old days where they shut a menstruating woman up in a shack until she was clean again. I don't celebrate my period; I bear it. I change my pad, wear a tampon, etc., etc. And I have asked my doctor about it and she said, go on the pill, which I can't because of other medical issues.
You are entitled to your own opinions, but never did I say that I deliberately "bled" all over my house and played in the blood like a child. Or smeared it on the walls. Jesus Christ woman, do you know everything there is to know about every onese experience on their period?
I would like to call you a name that rhymes with what you do to a football, but since I'm a little hormonal right now, I will refrain from doing so.
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re: various
Brightstar, I didn't find your question offensive. And I think the answer is that having to wear a diaper is associated with incontinence, so most women would rather struggle with inadequate sanitary products. There really isn't one that handles the problem well through a whole night's sleep.
Paul, why wouldn't Britney do a lot of things? Like not have standoffs with the police. Or obey court orders so she could be allowed to keep her kids. She's clearly not well, and it's a shame no one's helping her.
Regarding the fact that this could happen to anyone: No, no it couldn't. Margaret Cho mentioned worrying about sitting on a friend's white sofa. Yep. That's what normal people do. They think, Crap, is my tampon leaking? Do I need to change my pad? Maybe I should sit in that dark colored chair, and wear the rust colored pants today instead of the white ones.
Now imagine that you had dozens of people following you around taking pictures of your crotch. Wouldn't you be EXTRA careful? You know you would; it's so damned obvious that people who have dozens of people taking photos of their crotches, like Mary Lou Retton, get to be spokespeople for sanitary products!
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Response to Tina
"Read Susan Sontag on the camera as phallus, etc. etc. Nobody would argue that Britney Spears has not been sexually exploited, so naturally her behavior mirrors that of other abuse victims."
Like hell.
First of all, if you actually quote what Sontag (who is an idiot) actually said, she said the camera/phallus thing was a FANTASY and that actual photography, which necessitated distance, is nothing like sex.
Second, could we try to avoid the usual vague, bullshit-laden name-calling that passes for debate on this site? If it doesn't make you a victim crushed by the iron jackboot of the pervasive patriarchy, could you enlighten us all with a lucid, specific definition of exactly what you mean by "sexually exploited"? As far as I know, she's an adult, she's extremely wealthy, and although she sings and dances in provocative outfits, there's been no actual sex involved. So, explain, please, what we have to assume or believe in order to view someone who's worth, literally, $100 million, as a victim.
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@P Morgan
Let me clarify:
I don't expect the subject of menstruation to be a breaking news item, cause for discomfort, childish fascination, whatever.
I agree with you that it's normal and should be treated as such. However there is a cultural expectation of silence and shame that's beyond that associated with any other bodily function. That's why one never hears it mentioned at all on any tv show. Commercials for pads and tampons typically emphasize the shame aspect, although that seems to be changing for the better.
Normal it may be, but I wonder if you know any women who would compare it to the ease of breathing. I wonder why you feel entitled to hold forth on what it's like for females. I don't want to stop you from participating, but sometimes, you can defer.
I support civil topical discourse on this board between men and women and do not respond to trolls who try to divert every discussion into a name-calling gender war or who take it as an attack on men when women seek equality. I didn't mean you, actually Tina and symbol guy come more to mind here.
It's okay that we have different opinions on which comedians are funny. Cho's comedy is fairly specific to the female and minority experience.
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Aging feminist Carol Lloyd
Has a nice ring to it. Maybe that's what I'll call her from now on.
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Children, children ... HUMORLESS children ...
You did get that Margaret Cho was talking about hypocrisy, right?
No, obviously you didn't because there were TAMPONS in the sentence. I didn't know that so many 4th graders read Broadsheet! My goodness! What vapors we must have! I think I'll faint dead away!
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accidents happen
and some women, esp. if they have the very common problem of fibroids or are nearing menopause, bleed more than others. Especially at night, if you are a sound sleeper or move around in your sleep a lot (thus you do not realize that the pad is leaking/has bunched up some weird way), it is easy to mess up the bed. BTW, you're not supposed to wear tampons for more than eight hours, and a lot of people sleep longer than that.
You just put the sheets in peroxide water to soak and use peroxide to clean the mattress. No biggie. It's no "dirtier" than a guy having a wet dream.
BTW, brightstar, a lot of women with extremely heavy periods DO use Depends or Poise products at night, but there is an embarrassment factor to buying them.
Going around during the daytime, conciously flashing your dirty undies...that's the sign of a deeper problem.
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Two cents
Menstruation isn't dirty or disgusting, and it shouldn't be cloaked in shame and embarassment. God knows how many women have a complex about this aspect of their lives because it couldn't (and in some ways, still can't be) discussed openly and dispassionately. Sadly, many religions like Islam and Orthodox Judaism treat menstruating women as if they were literally contaminated and can't even be touched casually.
So if feminists get a little OCD about this matter, that's why.
That being said, it's a management problem (taking care of stains and stuff), and should be handled in an upfront practical way. When there are ghastly problems (Britney flashing soiled undies or some LW telling us she "can't move because her blood soaked mattress looks like a crime scene"), I actually think the shaming and disgust is provoking the behavior.
Mattress stained beyond repair? THROW IT OUT AND BUY A NEW ONE. And next time, wash up stains (Oxyclean is very good on blood, no matter what the source) immediately, and to prevent staining, put a mattress liner on -- one of the ones made of flannelized rubber. They are cheap and really effective. You can substitute one of those infant crib sheet liners made of the same stuff, if you carefully place it in the most likely to get stained area of the mattress. Yes, stains and accidents happen, but an adult should be able to clean up and cope.
Speaking of coping -- Kotex does make overnight sanitary pads, which are larger and thicker than regular ones. The problem might be that most young, modern women are very used to the convenience of tampons and many have never even used a sanitary pad -- but tampons are not designed to last for 8-10 hours of a heavy flow, and that's why they are leaking. If you can't manage to get up once during the night to change, get the overnight sanitary pads.
A normal healthy period is NOT supposed to be hemmoraghing that drenches your bed or clothes or leaks onto the floor -- the poster who said "if you are saturating two pads or tampons in an hour, GO TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM". At the minimum, you are losing too much iron and risking anemia.
You do not have to go on birth control pills to lessen your periods if they are this heavy. Some IUDs, the progestin based ones, will give you light or even no periods. You can also take a really tiny dose of progestin (2.5 mg - 5mg) on days 10-15, and this will balance the estrogen in your system, and cut both the flow and days of your period by about half, not to mention greatly lessening cramping.
If you bleed really heavily, you should know this is not healthy or normal and you should not have to tolerate it. Bring this to the attention of an OB-GYN, preferably a woman, because a lot of docs, especially internists, just don't know enough about this, or are even embarassed by it, and they won't help you. (This was my experience.) A few women have a condition where there is an overgrowth of tissue in the uterus, and this can be removed by minor surgery.
One serious side effect of long term extra-heavy periods (beyond physical misery, embarassment, ruined clothes and sheets, etc.) is the excess estrogen that causes this can in some women lead to hyperplasia (overgrowth of uterine tissue) and even uterine cancer. This is mostly in women over 45, but it's still something to watch out for.
I wish someone had talked to me as a young woman in a direct, common sense way about these things, because I spent a lot of absolutely miserable years loathing my period, and I would have been very happy as a teenager to not have one at all -- I would have jumped straight on the bandwagon of any of those BC pills that eliminate menstruation. And....I would have been stupid and wrong. Menstruation is a wonderful, almost magical part of being a woman, that binds us to our mothers and daughters, and to all womankind, and makes human sexual reproduction possible. AND if you are relatively comfortable, pain-free, embarassment-free, clean, and proud and relaxed about it, it can be a way to enjoy and respect your body.
And that can't be done in an atmosphere where periods are treated as disgusting or a joke, or a way to diss already sick, mentally ill starlets like Britney.
Women need to take this aspect of life back and embrace it in a way that will make a good part of life for young women, for whom it will be a 40 year reality one way or another. Because you can't embrace something that is treated as dirty, disgusting, sluttish and repulsive, and what has it done to generations of women to have our natural body functions treated this way?