Letters to the Editor
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We shared the decision…
That is how I would describe what transpired for my then girlfriend, now wife. I guess some men may feel somewhat empty from not having their child, but to project what life would be like with what is now a terminated pregnancy is asking for emotional baggage.
I have had some thoughts of what might have been with our potential first-born, but I have also tempered those thoughts with what would have been. A real possibility that we would have spiraled into a broken family with only one of us working and at a low-paying job at that and not even living in the same city.
We were not emotionally or fiscally able to support this life. We could have brought the fetus to term and given the baby away, but having had two children afterward, I can say that would not have been an option. We would have kept the child and tried our best to make do. It is very possible that the two children we have now would not have been born or the very least only one would have. We looked at this decision with a great deal of anquish, but as things have gone, we are sure that our decision was the best for us and the health of our relationship as a family.
I cringe at the idea that we would have had to make an even harder decision if the laws concerning abortion were not as they are today.
I think these men are being done a disservice by making them relive or imagine their lives with what might have been instead of what will be.