but I can't tell you how many overweight white women I've worked with who have made considerably more money than me. Oddly enough, most of them were older, more experienced and/or in higher positions than me. Hmm...

I've worked for over 25 years on two continents, and have never seen any correlation between weight and salary. Most of my female co-workers have been larger than me, but if they were in a higher position, they made a higher salary. My svelte and saucy little bod has never garnered me a higher wage... only an increase in experience, job performance and responsibility has ever done that. And if a larger lady had more of that than me, she made more money than me.

Let's get a grip, ladies. They don't pay by the pound, unless you're in a profession where looks figure into the job. And even then, I'd venture to say that Roseanne has a heck of a lot more in her bank account than little ole size 2 me. More power to her.

Reality has very little to do with how we are perceived. A clever woman can make anyone believe she is beautiful - but first she must believe it herself. Cher, Audrey Hepburn, Madonna, and Sophia Loren could just as easily have been perceived as unattractive, if they had perceived themselves differently. Each has an unconventional look that they embraced. Brittany Spears, on the other hand is devastated when she gains 10 pounds. Spears clearly is dependent on other peoples perception of her. She accepts rather than projects her image.

White obese women often see themselves as slugs and thus project that image. Queen Latifa is a good example of a black woman who is "thick", but who believes she is beautiful - and she is! Could a white woman that size pull it off?

Few men or women are truly beautiful. It's all about attitude and self-confidence. No one really gives a damn what you weigh, just how you present yourself.

Carol, why do you assume that guy on the message board was bashing? The quote sounds to me like he was explaining what he viewed as the mental process of HR department employees, not his own. What, people can't talk about other's ideas without being accused of espousing those ideas themselves? That's exactly the kind of PC nonsense that keeps a lot of social issues from being discussed in public: acknowledge some people think this way and OMG UR PREJUDISSED!!!11!!

Try not to jump to Conclusions quite so eagerly next time. 'Cause it's a long, wet swim back from that island.

It's true that some people do have an addictive relationship with food.

But anon -- have you ever known an alcoholic really well?

Obesity doesn't make people lie or manipulate or rage or steal or rape or violate boundaries.

The so-called moral implications are in your head.

is that a joke? i'm not buying the poor victimized fat people story. 75% of americans are clinically overweight. 30% are obese. the correct answer is to stop blaming thin people. exercise is not a punishment. it's good for you.

"Obesity doesn't make people lie or manipulate or rage or steal or rape or violate boundaries."

well, maybe not rape, but i've known some majorly manipulative, lying, raging obese people. it starts with all the lies about how they can't exercise for this or that reason, or how they can't eat healthier because it's too expensive, and it's all so unfair, and it's not their fault, and it quickly turns to rage when you offer them substantive proof that they can do better. there was a woman on dr. phil who was too fat to go to the toilet, and made her daughter empty a urine bucket every day. i'd say that's lying, manipulating and violating boundaries.

it's not that i'm not sympathetic. i'm sympathetic to all people who can't see the reality of their self-destructive behavior. i just don't think there's any sense whatsoever in colluding with the mythology that it's not their fault. the latest research from Brookhaven National Laboratory has shown that the brain's dopamine system is triggered when obese people are exposed to food. "This activation of the brain’s dopamine motivation circuits is distinct from the role the brain chemical plays when people actually eat, and may be similar to what addicts experience when craving drugs."

http://www.bnl.gov/bnlweb/pubaf/pr/2002/bnlpr052002.htm

i'm not out to demonize fat people. i just think the only way to approach this problem is truthfully. allowing fat people to inhabit a position of victimhood, and put the blame on thin people (ridiculous) is not getting us anywhere. to be addicted to food must totally suck. it's easy to know when you've relapsed with cocaine. you're putting white powder in your nose again. it's much harder to establish rational boundaries with something that you need to do to live. i get that. it's tough, but it's not the fault mcdonalds or the supermarket or television or thin people. get real. for your own good. if you don't care about your own good (a position to which you are perfectly entitled), at least accept that fact (celebrate it, if you like, like other hedonists), and stop maligning people who do care to eat properly and exercise regularly.

I followed the link that went back to the original article and posts, and I was amazed to see the hatred expressed towards overweight. Even if you think fat is disgusting, the amazingly nasty comments "heaving blubber" etc. Why are fat people hated so much?

Comparing people who said they couldn't lose weight/afford to eat healthy food, etc., with pathological liars and the socially abherrent? Maybe they're saying things that displease you because they're annoyed that you brought something up that wasn't your business, comments they did not ask you to make--did you ever think that maybe offering unsolicited advice might appear a "teensy" bit invasive, patronizing and insulting? I'm just guessing on that one...

Why are you on a crusade against "victimhood"? I'm curious as to why it personally offends you. I personally don't give a shit.

Incidentally, that whole peeing in a bucket anecdote--again, are you serious? Bring out the most unusual, atypical, bizarre example and extrapolate moral judgments against a whole group of people? I'm flabberghasted that you would even have the balls to bring something like that up. That's gotta be one of those urban myths, like the huge fat woman on the airplane whose fat practically suffocates the person sitting next to her. In other words, probably 99.999999% of the population has never experienced this--they just like to pull out this Santa Claus story of the obese airplane woman to, uh, make a point?

I too have seen examples where SOME heavy people who get defensive...the thing is --I don't take it personally, I'm not outraged, and frankly I don't give a damn either--so why bother them in the first place? I totally don't buy this pretend do-goodism people like "teensy" and others here are feebly using out of smugness and a false sense of moral superiority. Just leave them alone! Mind your own business! Shut up! Jeez, I've never experienced ANYONE be nasty to me when it was completely unprovoked. If any fat person even wants to be deluded, why do you care if they are? You act like obese people are the only ones who ever present themselves as deluded (oh, along with criminals, alcoholics and drug abusers, of course). Repeat: whoever you met probably just found you incredibly smug and annoying.

Not that people like "teensy" will ever see reality for what it is.