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Trudy,
I am expected to wear a shirt wear I work and no, I don't feel oppressed by that. If I was expected to cover my head with a hijab, I would feel oppressed. If you can't appreciate the difference that's your problem. They aren't the same to me, your debating gymnastics notwithstanding.
As far as this, 'When I was fourteen I wasn't allowed to wear shirts that showed my bra strap. Do you look down on my Mother for that?'
Answer - yeah, somewhat. If she forced you to wear a burkha, I'd think much less of her though.
You apparently find me inconsistent. I like to think I am using my judgement based on the world I live in.
By the way, if girls got killed for showing their bra straps, I hope you would be against that too.