This letter is associated with the following article:
Letters
Thursday, December 13, 2007 12:00 AM

Girl murdered over hijab?

A 16-year-old Canadian was reportedly killed by her Muslim father. Some hint it's because she wouldn't cover up.

Read other letters about this article

  • Wednesday, December 12, 2007 08:12 PM

    First of all

    Damn straight Tracy is right on this one.

    First of all, there are very few facts out there. What we know is this: there was family conflict, apparently principally between her and her father, with her brother taking her father's side. This led to her moving out, apparently with her immediate family's consent. Secondly, her teenage friends report that one of the sources of conflict was the Hejab. Third, she went hope to pick up her stuff. Fourth, her father phoned 911. Fifth, she was badly injured and subsequently died in hospital. Sixth, her brother apparently had some kind of confrontation with the police. Sixth, her father was charged with murder.

    We do not know if the Hejab was the only or even the principal point of contention. We do not know what happened in the house (the police have refused to release any information about the cause of death or the statements of her father). We really don't very much at all at this point.

    What I know from my professional experience, is that parent-adolescent conflict over retention of cultural values and behaviour in immigrant families is not exactly unknown. I have seen in Muslim families to be sure, but also with Hindus,with Africans, with Latin Americans, with Chinese, even with Eastern Europeans. The dynamic is very common: parent(s) see children drifting away from everything they hold dear, and in reaction insist on holding the line on every single little thing. In reaction to this stifling, the children rebel and act out.

    The solution we have in professional practice is to bring support groups together of parents from the same background, and kids from the same background. Once they find other's in the same situation, they can talk it over and come to a much more rational consensus on what is negotiable and what is not.

    Works far better than banning things or engaging in Muslim bashing.

Most Active Letters Threads

736

The commendably missing element from Obama's speech

There was no pretense that human rights is our goal, or the likely outcome, in escalating the war
688

Obama's exceedingly familiar justifications for escalation

The "new" approach to Afghanistan touted by White House officials seems quite old
329

Yes, it's Obama's war now

An uninspiring speech sells a dubious policy, but progressives who feel betrayed have only themselves to blame
325

America's regression

It's almost impossible to find a nation with as many torture advocates as the U.S. has.
192

The poster boy for progressive self-delusion

Read Hayden's 2008 Obama endorsement to remember the way the left sold our centrist president to itself

View all »

Letters Help

Currently in Salon