Letters to the Editor
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Is it the cooking? Or the socializing?
When we've hosted holidays at home, my husband has done the cooking. The past few meals we've had at friends' houses, the men in the couples did the cooking. My husband is much more interested in that stuff than I am. So the cooking example seems weird to me.
But when I'm with extended family for holidays and summer trips to the cottage, I do notice some gender segregation among the adults. The guys all barbecue and gossip while the women work on the salads inside and gossip. Or the women go in a group to an activity (beach, antiquing, etc.) I kind of enjoy it. I don't see my extended family that often (a couple of times a year) and the company of a group of women around my age and related to me (by marriage) is really enjoyable.
I can't speak for anyone else, but from my experience I would guess that it's not about division of labor as much as it is about gathering in gender-segregated groups. (the sharing of work is a bonus.) For much of human history, much of our work and play was done with groups of other women, and in the modern world, I don't get that all that often. My work is with men and women, my social life with my husband is with mixed groups, and I tend to get together with girlfriends one-on-one. It's not something I consciously miss in any way, but I enjoy it when it comes along.
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Blah Blah Blah
Yeah yeah. I cooked and she brought snacks and DVDs. Worked out great. And since she's a clean freak, she did the dishes. (But only the pots and pans. When the rack was full I made her stop and put the rest to soak. I think she broke out in hives.)
BFD.
Some other points: pro football has been on TV since at least the mid-60s, so you have to be 50+ years old to remember "a Thanksgiving before football".
The woman who won't let any male over the age of 12 in her house? Seriously weird shit. But to each their own!
But my favorite? This quote: "...writer Jill Hudson Neal interviews exactly two other women...". Which is supposed to be cutting, I guess?
From a Broadsheeter, seriously known for never actually talking to any of the subjects they write about, that's pretty funny.
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men vs women
so what else is new.
It's not like we men DON'T want to help. If we men said to you women "why can't you stack the dishes MY way", or "you're doing it wrong/slow/bad, stop it, I'll do it for god sake", then you women would know exactly why we stay out in the living room.
If you women just put aside the control freak tendencies and just let others do this or that, then we wouldn't even be talking about any of this. Just because it isn't done exactly the way you do it, doesn't make it wrong. When you try to do everything yourself, well no surprise you have no time in the day to do anything else.
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What did you expect?
I am a guy. I read the article and was offended by not only the female stereotypes exhibited, but the negative male stereotypes as well. At least the female stereotype she posited was one of a woman doing useful work and enjoying. Her stereotype of a man was a couple of guys sitting on the lazi-boy, watching football and belching.
What do you expected? This is Broadsheet, the quintessential feminist column. As you know, feminism is about EQUALITY, that is,
1. Depicting women as the most clever, morally good and perfect beings in the whole Milky Way and close galaxies.
2. Depicting men as the most dumb and evil beings of the infra-world. His purpose is to be selfish pigs and abuse and oppress women.
Of course, this is equality. But wait, there's more:
3. Although women are infinitely more intelligent that men, they have been oppressed by men FOR MILLENIA. I don't know how such a supreme beings have been dominated for so long by such an incompetent bugs. But I am not a woman so I thing there are things I will never understand because of my limited intelligence.
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Stereotypes
So what do Broadsheet readers think: Are there times when some good old-fashioned stereotyping makes for better pumpkin pie or bigger laughs, or does it always spring from that dark, stupid corner of our souls?
Generally, I think those old fanshioned stereotypes come from our dark, stupid place. But, isn't that what makes a lot of humor funny - that it plays upon a something everyone can 'get', as well as the dissonance it creates b/c we know those stereotypes are not supposed to be the new ideal.
The line between scary and funny can be thin sometimes, but sometimes the darker it is, the funnier it becomes.
That is why I just gotta laugh at the women who need the security blanket of 1950's stereotypes to justify their love of being in the kitchen: they have chosen a scary world that upon further inspection they would probably not choose to return to.
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Yes & No
I love to cook. I've got the menu and presentation down pat so no one (including me) spends the whole day in the kitchen. We all get to enjoy Thanksgiving, a great holiday where everyone sits at the table and tells old (and new) family stories and has a good time.
My sister also loves cooking. So does her husband. So on Christmas they share the duties and we guests sit at the breakfast bar, watch and tell stories.
I love both and wouldn't change anything!
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@bignose
Why do m*n feel the constant need to invade wymynspace?
No bigotry in my house, just a safe place for wymyn where we can feel comforted and loved without aggression and other negative emotions.
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My Thanksgiving Schedule...
Tuesday (11/20): Gall bladder surgery.
Wednesday (11/21): Recovery. Prep pie crusts.
Thursday (11/22): Wake up at 6 am to get the turkey ready. Peel potatoes. Chop onions. Chop celery. Saute almonds. Chop garlic. Guests arrive @ 1 pm. Serve drinks. Make soup. Serve first course. Remove turkey. Cook on all six burners: potatoes, peas, spinach, stuffing, gravy. Serve second course. Make pies. Play games. Catch up on football (games long over now). Serve dessert drinks and pies. Put son to bed. Play more games. Say goodbye to guests. Kiss wife goodnight. In bed @ 2 am.
Clearly I'm one of those "lazy shmoe" husbands. Jill Hudson Neal can suck it.