Site Presented By
Sunday, Nov 8, 2009
AKA Smith, this is completely off topic, though the topic of forgiveness does coincide with the original topic of domestic violence.
The Buddhist view on forgiveness is best described as atonement, which is basically finding forgiveness within yourself without expecting anything in return. Not expecting anything in return, or being selflessly humble is the corner stone of practicing Buddhism. And you can atone by either finding peace within yourself or peace with someone else. If you are angry with someone, you should look within yourself as you are the source of the anger, and if others are angry with you, you still need to look at yourself, and try to figure out why they might be angry with you. Whatever the circumstances, you can't discount yourself from the situation, as you are a part of the situation, even if you are not the one committing the evil acts.
My mother is a Quaker who use to be Catholic, and my father is an agnostic who use to be Catholic, whom my wife is converting to Buddhism. I was an agnostic, but I was converted to Buddhism by my wife, though my interest in Buddhist started almost the day I first arrived in Japan. Once I saw the alternative to Christianity I was hooked.
I believe too much in the human soul not to be religious.
"But about the heaven thing? Hmm. I can't say I ever worried much about Falwell either, but I thought Buddhists didn't believe in heaven. I don't want to see my ex in heaven either. That is why I enjoy being an agnostic."
We do believe in the very good possibility of there being a heaven like world in the Universe, or the possibility that Earth could become a heaven (and conversely that there might be very hellish type worlds). Most importantly we believe that we were all close with each other in the past, and that we will be close with each other eventually again. In other words make peace with all of your enemies, as their karma will always be a part of the Universe. And always respect the Earth, because if we don't in the future it could become a very hellish home for us (and there is the possibility that there are no other inhabitable worlds out there).
I appeciate you taking the time to explain to me these things which I was curious about.
Thank you Glenn and Marc for helping fight the bigotry!
http://glennsacks.com/blog/?p=1336
Some Good News on Domestic Violence in California
Background: As I've often noted, three decades of research shows that women are at least as likely to attack their male partners as vice versa, and that a significant minority of domestic violence injuries are sustained by heterosexual men. Research shows that women use weapons and the element of surprise to help balance the scales. To learn more, see my co-authored column October’s Domestic Violence Awareness Month Ignores Many Victims (Louisville Courier-Journal & others, 10/4/06)
I've noted on various occasions that the only domestic violence shelter which accepts male victims in all of Southern California is the Valley Oasis shelter out in the desert north of Los Angeles. Feminists sometimes assert that California women's shelters will accept male victims, but it isn't true.
When I was writing a newspaper column about this a few years ago, I posed as a male victim of domestic violence and called every domestic violence shelter in all of Los Angeles and San Diego counties. Not a single one would accept me or offer assistance, with the exception of Valley Oasis. Most flatly refused any assistance at all, but a couple did offer me space in a homeless shelter. When I asked, "Am I supposed to take my children to a homeless shelter?", they replied, "That's all we can do."
To their credit, however, several of the shelter directors and workers did sympathize, telling me that we need shelters and services for men.
Marc Angelucci, president of the National Coalition of Free Men Los Angeles, writes with some good news--WomenShelter of Long Beach is becoming the second shelter in Los Angeles County to provide outreach and services to male victims. Below is a letter Marc had published in a local paper.
Male Victims
To The Editor,
As an organization that examines the way sex discrimination affects men and boys, we are pleased that the WomenShelter of Long Beach is increasing its outreach to male victims and to other historically neglected victims and that it recognizes how its gender-specific name can be a barrier to male victims. (“WomenShelter Celebrates Three Decades Of Service,” Oct. 11)
We hope that the WomenShelter will eventually change its name to be gender-inclusive so no victims will be discouraged from seeking services.
The six male victims served by the WomenShelter during a three-month period are the tip of the iceberg. Men are less likely than women to seek help, for a variety of reasons (shame, lack of outreach/awareness, fear of false arrest, etc.), but about 25% of domestic violence police calls now come from male victims. That number is increasing, and yet the problem still remains extremely hidden.
California State University, Long Beach, Professor Martin Fiebert maintains an online bibliography that now summarizes more than 200 studies and scholarly analyses showing men in heterosexual relationships are victims of domestic violence at rates comparable to women and that men sustain about one-third of the injuries. Men in same-sex relationships are victims in high numbers as well. For decades, these victims and their children have been ignored, neglected and covered up, largely for political and ideological reasons. That has got to change.
WomenShelter of Long Beach and Valley Oasis Shelter in Lancaster are the only domestic violence shelters we have found in Los Angeles County that make a sincere effort to serve both male and female victims. We thank them for this and hope they will serve as an example to other programs.
We also thank the Gazette for covering this issue fairly and without the anti-male sexism commonly found in the media.
Marc E. Angelucci
President, LA Chapter
National Coalition of Free Men
Much of the initial coverage about Fort Hood turned out to be wrong. Is there anything wrong with that?
The accountability imposed by another country for the CIA's kidnapping and torture reveals much about our own.
Fox News' morning show plays to type, talking about whether Muslims in the Army should face "special debriefings"
The survivor and author is upset about comparisons some on the right are making to genocide
Once seen as a lunatic fringe, reactionary anti-women groups are courting respectability
Salon headlines in your mailbox
