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• Friday, October 26, 2007 03:45 PM

  To AKA Smith

  "Earlier in my marriage, my spouse came home drunk one evening. He begged me to please get him up in the morning in order to get to work on time no matter what I had to do. I told him I was setting the alarm clock for him (he was too blind drunk to set it) and that I would do my best to see he got up. Morning came. The alarm went off but he simply turned it off and stayed in bed. "Get up," I said and shook him. He pushed my hands off his shoulders and mumbled. I tried again. More mumbling. However, I knew he was very ticklish on his feet, so I pulled back the covers and began to tickle his feet. That is when he sent the alarm clock whizzing past my head. If it had hit me, it would have killed me."

  I believe everything you say, but I am perplexed (have been years) as to how women as intelligent as you obviously are, end up in the kinds of marriages that you described.

  The worse thing I ever did to my wife was call her stupid and incompetent (because she had finally broken the garbage disposaler under the kitchen sink through mis-use, after years of my screaming at her how to properly use the thing), I felt horrible afterwards and I still want to pound my head on the table every time I think back on that incident. My wife had every right to leave me after that spat, but I am glad she forgave me, after weeks of my pleading how much more stupid I had been (we got rid of the disposaler without replacing it, and now I realize my kitchen is a lot more safer without it, and the strainer in and of itself has been enough to keep the pipes from clogging up).

  Arguing is one thing, every couple does that, but I can't understand why people would stay in an abusive relationship, or get married before they made the determination that their relationship would not be an abusive one.

  I decided I am going to impress 2 value onto my daughter; to never married a man (or woman) that she hasn't known for several years, and to never feel that she has to marry someone, even if she accidentally gets pregnant. If worse comes to worse, I'll take care of a daughter and a grand child at the same time. Anything to prevent my children from ending up in an abusive relationship, even if I have to chain them to their beds.

  —fetboy Read fetboy's other letters
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