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You say that "Where domestic violence is concerned, women are a legally privileged class. People make fun of female-instigated violence, whether against boys or men, because they are uncomfortable about it, and it is taboo in our society."
And I agree with you. The part that bothers me is that you keep blaming feminism for this phenomenon, when it is actually a relic of a strict patriarchal system in which women and children were in the same category of privilege/ownership. (Remember women and children first?) Taking advantage of that system to get what you want is not feminism.
If feminism were causing female-instigated violence, then women like me, in happily egalitarian relationships, would be the ones hitting/hating/killing our husbands.