Letters to the Editor
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And we live in a democratic society, so it is hard to imagine that women are going to get many positions that they don't earn on merit
As long as men are about 50% of the population men collectively will have the "votes" to assert SOME influence BUT there is absolutely no reason to assume, and in fact some very good not to assume, this is going to continue to be the case.
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no one wants a 21 year old president either
maybe if we concentrated on rationally preparing them to deal rationally with life and their emotionally unstable selves rather than trying to control everything "for their own good" they would do better. It's natural for adults to want to do things to raise the chances of a good outcome as high as possible, but it is very difficult to tell when this goes over the line into the adults using this arena to work out(not) their own issues.
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Juliebird
it sounds from your letter like the best age cutoff would be 22 years old and college graduation, at least from the standpoint of protecting the most kids.
Based on what some posters say about brain development, the best age would be 25 and maybe we should look for a graduate degree.
The same goes for letting people drive.
Maybe we should have a graduated system where pre-teens get the most protection (very long prison terms for molesters), early teens somewhat less (mid range jail terms), late teens much less (probation and lost employment for perps on first offense) and 18 plus even less than that (social stigma against those that seek them out, lost employment for teachers).
One size does not fit the entire problem of child molestation/underage sex.
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that's basically what we have now but you still have the question of when the scale starts
12 to 18 year olds ARE emotionally unstable, BUT they are not and cannot reasonably be treated as babies either. A lot of people don't seem to get this. A good antidote to this might be a little historical research into the role that people those ages played in societies in the past, yes things are different and people have been wrong, but keeping people those ages in a "fenced playground" and treating them in a way similar to the way young children are treated, rather than as JUNIOR adults probably does more harm than good.
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I have been a teacher.
I have taught both middle school, high school, and college students. I would say that basically no one under 16 is old enough to have sex with other people. Let them masturbate. It doesn't cause warts and it never hurt anybody. The fact that 12-16 year old kids are basically hormone-driven is the opposite of a reason for them to be having sex. It is precisely because their judgment lags so far behind their physical development and because they are high on sexual desire that they need to be firmly guided by caring adults, the parents, teachers, coaches, and leaders who understand that the best discipline is teaching them a graduated self-discipline.
People who would argue that these young children have the judgment to handle the possible sexual manipulations of adults generally do so because they are pimple-spattered adolescents themselves or because they are adults who hope to enjoy sexual encounters with teenagers or children. Teens who have sex with other teens are involved in peer relationships. The person they are having sex with is not likely to be much cleverer than they are. Also, other teens are not authority figures.
I see children of 12-14 as in need of sexual education that involves explanations, not initiation. From 14 to 16, bring back things like cotillions and group outings with mixed sex groups. Let them date peers at age 16. Because 17 and 18 year olds actually attend college, sex beween people 17-21 should be legal as long as we are not talking teachers or authority figures should. This is only realistic. After 21 they should have full ability to consent to any adult who is not a teacher, boss, shrink, doctor, etc.
In my experience, 18 and 19 year olds are only really beginning to have emotional maturity and be capable or judgment, full logic skills and critical thinking skills. You still see them make really stupid mistakes with relationships, with peers and peer pressure, with job choices, and with things like academic cheating and drugs. Many of them flunk out of college because of drugs. Many can't stand the psychological pressure or don't have the social skills to seek emotional support. In lots of ways 18 and 19 year olds are pretty much like 16 and 17 year olds. They do dumb things like not show up for class three or four weeks in a row without notifying the instructor or making up work. The drop out rate is pretty astounding. If they're not ready for college, they really can't negotiate relationships either.
Also, the idea that we are sending these poor kids to war is pretty disgusting. Military recruiting of anyone under 21 ought to be against the law.
We don't live in hunter gatherer times. Life now is complex. Success at it depends upon the foundation that is built in youth. We don't need predatory adults "helping" kids find their sexuality.
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After 21 they should have full ability to consent to any adult who is not a teacher, boss, shrink, doctor, etc.
So in other words even adults only have the right to consent to sex with the people you approve of. This is a real problem. I realize that it is the current law. It is still a problem and will become a much bigger as the categories expand-as they inevitiably will-given that the principle that adults have the right to make their own decisions has been discarded.
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I'm way past adolesence but I would have been better off learning more sooner rather than later
My biggest problem was my introverted personality but "protection" from what few opportunities I may have had definitely made a bad situation worse.
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@juliebird
If a 30-40 year old is having sex with a 15-year-old, it's called molestation, not "having a relationship".
She is a pedophile. Normal adults don't become involved sexually with 15-year-olds.
If the sexes in your anecdote were reversed, I'm sure you would have phrased the situation differently.
That's part of the problem the AP article is addressing, and it appears very deep-seated, indeed.
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@ Anonymous 03:42 PM
Adulthood is a legal concept and not some sort of absolute. The age of adulthood used to be 21 in many places. The reason it was lowered to 18 is because people who had been drafted and were getting shot at kept arguing that they should at least be allowed to buy a drink. What young people didn't reckon on was that the government really doesn't care that much if they drink, but the government sure could supply human war material as easily if the draft age was raised to 21. Would you rather get fucked by an older person and run the risk of dying in a war. Or would you rather keep to people your age and manage not to be at risk of being drafted to die in whatever war the government decides to wage next.
It is truly tragic that poor young men with few opportunities are preyed upon by recruiters in order to keep this war with Iraq, which is based upon lies, going. These young men, who do not yet have the good judgment to know the true LONG TERM risk they are running. Even if they survive the war, many can look forward to lost limbs and function and traumatic brain injury and PTSD. Fabulous.
Young people who engage in sex run the risk of HIV, HPV (both of which kill) other venereal diseases, getting pregnant or getting someone pregnant. Furthermore, sex with adults (say children of 16 with adults of thirty is by its very nature EXPLOITATIVE. Normal healthy adults do not seek out young teens to have sex with. People who want this are sickos.