Site Presented By
Sunday, Nov 8, 2009
Just kidding.
Actually the stripper pole conversation touches on what I think to be the major difficulty in the so-called pro-sex/anti-sex debate. At the same time people have to be responsible for their own decisions, they can never fully "own" those decisions. Sex is never "just" sex, as my local Hustler Hollywood boutique asserts. There is a massive complex of motivations and desires--not to mention a heteronomous logic, language and currency--in play in every social exchange.
On the one hand, we want to say that pole dancing is just a good way to get some excercise.
On the other hand, we have to admit we're not really talking about boys signing up, because it's sort of understood that pole dancing is tied into the sexualization specifically of girls. Moreover, we worry over how much the sexuality girls learn from places like pole dancing class blurs the boundaries of objectification.
Then we're a little disturbed by the ages of some of the girls in the class, because we're clued into the destabilizing effect fully sexualized preteens might have on society, and at some point we'd rather have clear and unquestioned boundaries for our kids, simply because they're not yet old enough to know better.
Finally, we might find ourselves anxiously wondering if our enlightened attitudes about sex haven't trickled down too far so that our 14 year old daughters and sons really get turned on stripping on a webcam for 50 year old pedophiles.
Liberals and libertarians can be a little hamstrung as parents by their assaults on paternalism.
girls had lots and lots of way to get "fun and exercise" (Thank you Title IX and a good community park and rec department). Here's just what I can remember participating in over the course of my childhood:
ballet, tap, jazz, "theatre dance", gymnastics (including parallel bars even and uneven, and pole vaulting), soccer, softball, volley ball, tennis, swimming, ice skating, dodge ball, kick ball, cheer leading.
Other girls also played: field hockey, lacrosse, basket ball, track and field, golf and ice hockey. And I'm sure there were more.
Really, what void does pole dancing fill, other than sexualizing pre-pubescence?
I never pole-vaulted. I meant using the pommel horse or vault box to do flips, etc.
I have been very unimpressed with the chef competition shows because of how the women never seem to win. Unfortunately I don't remember all of the details of these examples, but they made my blood boil enough at the time that I can't resist posting. If you've TiVo'd Top Chef or The Next Iron Chef, you might want to look away.
1. Top Chef 3, the Le Cirque challenge with the sea bass. Hung went first. He was praised. Casey went second. She was praised higher. The guy even said "that's the one to beat". There were I think three other chefs left at this point. So who won that round? You'd think it would be Casey, right? Wrong. It was Hung. Excuse me? The guy specifically said that Casey's was the one to beat. Nothing ambiguous in that comment. Casey was robbed.
2. Also Top Chef 3, the elimination that left the 4 finalists. It was between Sara and Dale. Sara had an excellent well-balanced composition, but she had a couple of technical flaws. Dale had a boring, safe, dull, but more technically accurate meal. Who wins? Which is a chef more prized for? All through the competition they've been harping on creativity, and her technical flaws were minor, but was Sara chosen? No.
3. Finally, the Next Top Chef. I forget the names here (there's only been one episode). But it's down to the bottom two - a woman, who has the most experience of the entire group, and a man. Actually my problem here comes before this point... Based on the comments we heard, she should not have been in the bottom two. There were at least two others where the judge's comments sounded much worse than their comments about this woman's cooking. And yet, she is of course given the boot.
And I've only mentioned the blatantly obvious things. Not the "booting three women in a row" which has also occurred on Top Chef. Maybe the editing was just better in those episodes, to hide the misogyny, or maybe those really were the three weakest chefs that week. But, at least on the cooking competition shows, women are still getting the shaft.
It's not cool, I saw a clip of the Kardashian sisters show, they decided to get a pole in their bedroom, okay they are adults.
Then their 11 or 12 yr old sister comes in in high plastic stripper heels and starts practicing dancing on the pole, upside down with her crotch and fanny facing the world, dad Bruce Jenner walks in and just removes his daughter giving the older girls a dirty look, like what the fuck are you doing?
It's disturbing, little girls do not need to learn how to be sexual all the time to men. Little girls with growing feet do not need to be walking around in 4 inch heeled plastic shoes. Who the hell are you people kidding, the brothers and sons are not being given stripper lessons. That's what it is and you don't need to train a daughter that her body is a commodity to sell to people. It's just a different form of control, instead of breed and stay at home it's now be sexy 24/7. Think of how to stay hot hot hot for men all the time. It's still the same message of your most valuable asset is how good you are at pleasing men, getting a man to want you. It's no different that the character of Wendy on Mad Men being perpetually afraid of losing her looks or worrying about a possible scar on her daughters face harming her marital prospects. It's just now instead of getting a man to love you and marry you, so passe, it's their hard on's that need the attention now girls. Being in love and sharing sexual intimacy isn't enough, you've gotta copy the sex industry honey, here's some lessons! It's one thing when it's adult women looking to spice up their marriage, find out what it's like to dance on a pole, without actually going to a strip club, but children, what the hell is wrong with ballet or the playground? I don't care if it is mothers who think it's okay, there are plenty of mothers who know that boyfriend or husband is raping their child on a regular basis and turning a blind eye. Parents aren't perfect and I think it's perfectly acceptable to shame fuck up parents like Britneys, Lindsay's, Jade Barrymore, and women who think it's okay to teach a child a sexual dance and call it playtime. I think some shame does need to be passed around from time to time.
Also, I am not a sexual prude, but I would damn sure not want an 11, 12, or 13 yr old kid getting BC without my knowledge because the person they are having sex with is more likely to be an adult or older teen preying on them! An 11 yr old isn't even legally allowed in most states to be left home alone and I'm supposed to go oh it's cool if they need BC. No it's not cool because they are probably being preyed on and that message needs to be sent, you need to tell people in authority who is talking you into sex. What if it's a teacher or a parent? Not sure keep it a secret, there's nothing wrong with it and we wouldn't want your parents to get mad at you, here's some protection and no one will ever know. If it's about their safety, the safest thing is to find out who is talking them into sex and letting them know it's not acceptable. I think it is perfectly okay to tell people younger than 13 that they shouldn't be having sex and the person trying to talk them into it needs to be reported. Parents do deserve some notification on what's going on in their childrens lives, they are not little adults with all the same reasoning capabilities that adults have, especially when they haven't even made it to high school yet. It's a tricky line to walk, but parents are legally responsible for every single thing a child does and I find it odd that a teen can get an abortion without their parents knowledge, but just try getting a dentist appointment without a guardians' signature. I know all the arguments in favor of non notification, I know it protects innocents from abuse and abandonment but if i was a parent, I would be pretty pissed that something that huge happened right behind my back and I would hope that I'm paying enough attention to my child that it doesn't happen. I would never take it away, but it seems a damn shame that it's necessary.
Much of the initial coverage about Fort Hood turned out to be wrong. Is there anything wrong with that?
The accountability imposed by another country for the CIA's kidnapping and torture reveals much about our own.
Fox News' morning show plays to type, talking about whether Muslims in the Army should face "special debriefings"
The survivor and author is upset about comparisons some on the right are making to genocide
219 Democrats and one Republican join in favor of the legislation, which passed by a narrow margin
Salon headlines in your mailbox
