Letters to the Editor
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A good one
I once lived with a guy who was so neat, it was amazing. Just to try to disrupt his routine (okay maybe to try to attract some morning attention, whatever...), occasionally I used to toss a Kleenex (ordinarily unused)in the bathroom wastebasket when I finished doing my makeup before both of us left for work.
Somehow, despite the fact that we were always in a hurry, he thought to get back in there before we left, although he'd already shaved, showered, brushed his teeth, combed his hair, dressed, etc., so there was never any obvious reason for him to go back into the bathroom. He did it, however, and he'd put that one little tissue in the outgoing garbage too. There was never even one little thing out of place anywhere in his abode.
This guy was a pro with bleach too, way better than I could ever be.
And those are only the most obvious highlights of a very spectacular and very "manly" man.
Okay, so he wasn't good at keeping up with the dusting, but in suburban NY that's a thankless job for anyone.
Unfortunately I lost this man when I became very ill. Cancer recurring over and over was one thing he couldn't fix. I don't feel he adapts very well to not being able to fix things.
Point is: they're not all useless around the house. And, just for myself, I miss him like heck.
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So Many Feminuts, So Little Time To Crack Them
" It's funny that with everything else going on in the world, these are the topics where we let loose...."
Yes. Let's talk about serious stuff, like shoes or Oprah or desperate housewives or....
"My status as a 'feminut, whatever the hell that means...
Guess. Really think. We'll ignore the cranial wood smoke that ensues.
"There are just as many women as men who spend big chunks of time being angry in cyberspace"
And in reality. They are called Feminists. They are not harmless. Federal laws have been based on their rantings. Their "anger" was seen as justified. If men get angry, the injustice they protest is ignored. It's always the FELLING and MALENESS that gets attacked/mocked/etc. For decades a man who could not be stopped from storming a machinegun emplacement would be rendered mute by a fembot who called him a "whiners."
Them days is over.
"I'm sorry that you and other posters in this thread have had so many bad experiences with members of the opposite sex."
Stop the clueless condescension. Not the opposite sex. Feminism. No one hear has problems with women. They have, thankfully, at LOT of problems with wimmin.
"Calling your husband a doofus is as damaging and counterproductive as your husband calling you a heifer"
Hence the dearth of ads, movies, books, TV shows, etc. portraying men as...doofuses.
For years fembots one-sidedly slammed half the human race. Now that men are finally fighting back those same harridans want to "play fair" and properly delineate all terms, etc. Nice dream. Feminists had years to refine their message, be fair to guys. They chose not to. Do you really expect male anger, built to high rage, is going to exit the dams nice-nice?
"I like reading the stories from couples who've negotiated the workload in a way that works for both members.
" the three biggest reasons couples fight are sex, money and division of labor. This thread certainly validates that article."
True. The difference here is that you're finally hearing the MALE input on those mattes. That drives vaginal monologuers nuts.
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To so many women
Any man who is in the least bit less of failure than they are is considered pathological.
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Omni's anti-straights gay diatribe not rebuttable?
Omni wrote: "You heteros are absolutely pathetic," etc.
That heterophobic screed was allowed. I answered in kind. I fired back at the anti-straight venom spewed. So, where are my words? Did I miss the post?
Not being paranoid. Just want to see it.
Was it deleted by moderators?
If so, why?
Are gays the new feminists, immune from criticism?
For years on forums feminists could -- and did-- say the most sexist, heinous., atrocious things about men...with impunity. All in the name of having open discussions, of course. Any who protested was banished. Is that happening again here?
Who defines what's acceptible? Are gays allowed to put down heteros, never being held responsible for words or deeds?
Just asking.
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About tired spouses
Someone a while back complained their spouse never did anything, and was tired all the time. I have a couple of suggestions.
First get her tested for sleep apnea and for diabetes; both of these common illnesses make people very tired. When I'm tired I'm nearly non-functional, and when I had gestational diabetes the high blood sugar not only made me tired, it made me stupid too. Blood sugar can be controlled, and apnea has some good treatments too. Both of you should also be tested for depression, which tends to make women tired and men angry.
Secondly, don't discount the exhaustion you are both feeling from the level of ire in the relationship; it's hard work to be so angry and to deal with that anger being directed at you. If you won't leave the relationship, then make it the best one you can, which means accepting that you *choose* this relationship and deal with that choice. Making your life more difficult by being angry at your choices is not useful to you. A therapist might help.
And for all the men angry about marriage, the surveys and data show that, as a group, men are happier and healthier when married than not. Women also benefit from marriage, but primarily financially, not in health or happiness.
http://www.dukenews.duke.edu/2000/02/mm_healthbenefits.html
http://www.lifesite.net/ldn/2002/aug/02081507.html
http://health.discovery.com/centers/loverelationships/articles/marriage_myths.html
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@ Silenced
Just offering a possibility. Your husband fridge cleaning behavior at those busy times may be due to ADD. It could be that he starts cleaning out because he becomes confused and can't find whatever it is that you wanted. If this is the case, I have to honestly suggest that you simply don't ask him to get stuff from the refrigerator while you are cooking. Have him chop carrots or something less complex.
I don't say this to suggest that your husband is in any way passive aggressive or defective. I have ADD myself. Sounds like me. I tend to do things in pieces rather than complete one job and move on to another. (I can make an awful mess sometimes with the best of intentions.)