Letters to the Editor
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yep omni
all us heteros are alike and all you gays are alike. Amazing how that happens.
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Sigh!
And it is a popular myth perpetrated by the media... I'm tempted to throw a brick through the tv when one of those "clueless dads" commercials or shows come on.
I do all the cooking and I fix the plumbing and electrical, do our accounting, and the food shopping. My wife does the dishes, laundry and gardening. My neighbor is a "stay at home dad". If "feminists" are truly interested in fighting gender stereotypes, this is another place to jump in.
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I'm with you, Amy
And I'm irritated at a whole bunch of people in this thread. "Yes! My husband is an intentional slob!" "Yes! My wife is/was an emasculating bitch!" "Yes! Men are stupid!" "Yes! Women are superior!"
Around our house, the work gets done, except sometimes when we have other priorities and it doesn't. I do some, he does some, we both rue the amount of it but neither blames the other. We are professional people who have been happily married since the 1970s, have raised children now in grad school, and are doing just fine, thank you. No one has been smothered by dust bunnies or overdosed on Mr. Clean. We just keep putting one foot in front of the other.
And all I can derive from that is that figuring out what's important to you before you get married and then marrying the right person makes all of this crap go away. I can't imagine staying married to someone I disliked as much as many people here seem to despise their mates. Good grief.
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Blame
Blame blame blame blame blame blame blame blame blame blame long-suffering blame blame blame blame blame blame blame.
It's certainly impossible for me to bear any of the responsibility.
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Re: No, We Are Not Incompetent
"The benefits of being a house husband type (I use the term loosely ... I am sure your husband has a job), are out weighed by the benefits concentrating on traditional masculine behaviors and presentation. Yes, I am sure your friends find his domesticity charming. But, if given the choice, are they going to want to be physical with a man with such qualities, or are they going to be attracted to traditional masculine archtypes."
1. why would she want her friends to want to fuck her husband, and
2. she obviously would rather fuck her househusband than some walking talking stereotype macho man, otherwise she wouldn't have married him/be bragging about him
Personally, when I hear women bitch about their husbands not cleaning up after themselves, I have never once thought "I'm so jealous of her. That is so HOT." But that's just me, maybe I'm in the minority.
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Answering endless rants by fembots who eruct the same shite all the time.
"I didn't like the mother role but had fallen into it because he sometimes acted like a child in need of mothering."
Just like guys smack women around because they, too, act like kids needing spankings.
(Note how feminists always find a way to blame others/guys for what they do.)
"No more nagging and I won't say that it was easy."
Understatement of the millennium, I'll wager. :>)
"I realized that my nagging -- which had gotten worse...had been my sign that I was still trying."
Just like an abusive man knows his battering ( for HER own "good") is just his way of trying to keep the relationship going.
"When I stopped nagging, he became quite lazy about the dishes."
Maybe because he never liked doing them in the first place?
" 'What's for dinner?' and I would say, 'Nothing.'"
And when you asked for grocery money did he say, "What money?"
He stopped doing something he didn't want to do. Instead of overtly nagging him, you passively sought to punish him by no longer cooking. Suppose a man finally stops fighting his wife's desire to go to night school...but suddenly won't let her use the car to attend? Has he really "let go"? Or is he drinking the same wine from a new bottle?
"what is really odd is that he caught on and started doing his share again, no arguments offered and no nagging needed. So I started cooking again."
Just like an over-bearing man whose woman slides back under his thumb: He, noblesse oblige, starts throwing her table scraps again. How noble! How egalitarian!
"I became very involved with our child, with teaching her things and with solitary hobbies and my writing."
How did you find the time, what with 60-hour work weeks building dams, etc.?
"He began trying to pick fights, but I mostly ignored this."
As if he wasn't being provoked with "the silent treatment"!
Note the over/covert dynamic. SHE freezes him out, gives the cold shoulder, gets closer the THEIR child (Imagine the feminist inculcations!), yet HE is said to be the one "picking fights."
"I felt strangely happy. He became very angry with me and began to do more passive-aggressive stuff to get my attention."
As if she wasn't passive-aggressive! As if nagging isn't fight-picking! As if snubbing/shunning isn't warmongering!
" I had stopped caring about his passive-aggressive stuff long past."
Not caring is a way to express anger.
" He began to whine that I didn't love him."
Of course women never "whine." They just bitch. Er, they make heartfelt, needful "I statements." Note the demonizing, patronizing attitude toward men. She suddenly stops doing what she's always done and he's not to notice. Only she is allowed to act out.
"I simply explained that he had worn me out..."
Yes, yes, yes. All his fault. The ingrate never gave credit for how nagging built him up.
" I was no longer playing the mother role to his child role."
"Playing" mother is no better than "playing" child, especially when adults do it for nasty reasons. She claims to have stopped condescending toward her mate-- the one in all the universe whom you chose to be with--- yet actually continued. She was the mother who stopped using wire coathangers on her kid and instead withdrew love. The actual is actually worse.
"Like a child, he began to up the ante..."
Withdrawing (like withholding affection, giving the "cold shoulder") escalates things, too.
"eventually he went too far and I had to divorce him."
Who got custody? How much support do you pay him?
" I walked away with no regrets for the marriage..."
If you got the house, kids, half of his assets, free help from gender groups (to wit, hit the feminist lottery!) why WOULD you have "regrets"?
"When I stopped nagging as a form of investment in the marriage, I finally realized that the marriage itself was not worth any investment."
Interesting: Nagging was the key thing she brought to the marriage. Hmmmm. I wonder why it didn't work out.
"It had emotionally been over for a long time. Everything else had been ritual."
So staying in a sham marriage is a good thing, right, provided the post-divorce payoff blames the man and enriches the woman?
Tell me again why men should men marry?
Plus, I wonder how the divorced dad would portray things....