Geez. A kid at our school filled a condom with a little bit of milk, tied it in a knot, and put it in the physics teacher's briefcase. I guess teachers were tougher in those days, he said, "I believe you forgot something," and threw it at the likely culprit (the one grinning like a fool) who screamed and flicked it on the floor. A chase ensued with various people trying to stomp on the condom, which was eventually slain and ceremonially disposed of.

No one was arrested or sued. I guess today, THAT would be news.

More double standards. More coddling of women. More bashing of men.

THIS IS NOT FEMINISM.

There's a chain of restaurants in Thailand called Cabbages & Condoms with also the mission to curb HIV transmission and advocate population control. I've never been, but I hear it's very nice and not at all sleazy.

So why are condoms so inherently funny?

Life saving and pleasure destroying though they may be.

The South African-designed snap-on Pronto condoms are so cool that they make me want to run out and have protected sex.

Also fabulous are their online ads spoofing South Africa's worst HIV/AIDS prevention and health offenders, our minister of health who believes in garlic and African potatoes over ARVs and Jacob Zuma, former deputy president, who "allegedly" raped a HIV positive activist and then had a shower in the hopes of reducing his risk, despite being head of the National Aids Council and the government's Moral Regeneration campaign. Cunning satire and easy condom application are a bonus in my book.

(and no, I don't work for them)

In other (horrific) condom news, in August, the South African government recalled 4.5 million condoms (latest figures suggest it may go as high as 20 million) after a defective batch was allowed through by corrupt officials who were bribed by the manufacturer.

It's a terrible blow to HIV/AIDS prevention, undoing decades of good work by pro-condom campaigns, but more than that it's put hundreds of thousands (if not millions) of people at risk when they think they're taking all the right precautions.

It's not like the people involved both at SABS (the South African Bureua of Standards) and the offending manufacturer, Latex Surgical Condoms didn't know what this would mean, that a faulty condom is potentially a death sentence in a country where 10% of our population are HIV positive.

As far as I'm concerned, this is practically an act of genocide and should be treated as such in the courts.

because on Halloween I give out candy stuffed Magnums.

And I thought, 'well' and......

Life saving and pleasure destroying though they may be.

Pleasure destroying? Your obviously using the wrong condom. Take a few out for a test drive and you'll eventually find the one that feels like nothing at all. You don't have to buy the first box you see.