...that in our anything-goes age, one of the few aspects of sex that really gets a lot of us riled up is extra-marital sex or "open marriage" - which traditionally has been one of the few "approved" - or at least winked-at - vices over the course of history. (At least for the men; maybe what's really got us all in knots is now the women are demanding a certain equality in this area?)

Doesn't this go against the whole "French infidelity is OK" shtick?

Funny how Americans can get all upset and fussy regarding French infidelity, while they themselves really don't:

"Cheating is as French as Brie, and the French consider themselves sophisticated when it comes to dealing with physical configurations. Moreover, the French do not view infidelity the same way we do in the United States. Of course, many French do not support the 'infidelity' philosophy, but, in France, the concept of cheating on one's spouse does not necessarily mean that you must give up your family life. In other words, having a lover, and having a spouse is not a trade off." -- Christiann Anderson

I see it as a not seeing the forest for the trees situation. It seems as if the service is being taken out of its cultureal context and being put into an American one. If this service were in the US, I could see a people getting upset. But France? Getting upset about a service that seems to promote infidelity while the culture it is promoting it in has a much different perception on the subject than we do seems to be a little narrow in scope.

Perhaps it would be more pertinent to talk about this service from an economic/cultural perspective instead of an American one? i.e. the culture that has brought about a demand for such services instead of the service itself. If there wasn't enough demand the service wouldn't exist.

I've read several books dealing with "French culture," and from what I've read, the French are not as down with cheating as the hype would have you believe.

Don't forget, women in France didn't even get the vote until 1944. They were a disenfranchised group for a lot longer than U.S. women were, and just had to "put up with it," when working American women had the option to kick the cheater to the curb.

People are people, no matter where you go. And no one wants their spouse screwing someone else. No one.

On the whole, though, I think this service is kind of funny. There are some people who are going to cheat regardless. If you're going to cheat, do it right.

Typical Broadsheet Feminism(TM)....

Make all sorts of judgmental statements, draw all sorts of judgmental conclusions, WHEN YOU HONESTLY DO NOT HAVE A CLUE AS TO WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT.

Yes, it's Broadsheet Feminism(TM) to defend women in burkhas when the women claim they want to do it, and to decry women in burkhas when the men say the women must do it, and to decry this service offered in France not in the United States, but to insist that your United States bigotry is the worldwide cultural norm.

I have magical vaginal peace rays -- my powers of intuition are global.

It's just a company selling a perfectly legal service. This company won't make a single person more likely to cheat on his or her spouse. Not one.

The French are somewhat different about all this. At the funeral of President Francois Mitterand, his widow stood next to his mistress and the child the late President had with that mistress. I don't know that the French think of marital infidelity as more acceptable than Americans, but they are usually more careful not to extrapolate from it. Ask many Americans if a cheater can be a good father or mother [or President] and you'll get large numbers replying "Absolutely not!" The French see things rather differently. If you want to call it sophistication, go right ahead. If you want to call it degeneracy, go right ahead.

Either way, your approval or disapproval won't matter one bit to any one in France.

I have seen announcements for this kind of service every couple of years for decades now, in the US, Canada, Britain, France, Germany, etc. The press eats it up like candy. Somehow or other they all seem to fade away pretty quickly. Doesn't seem to be a viable business model after all, perhaps cheaters aren't so well organized and non-spontaneous. Or willing to invest that much money. Or maybe they are just shy. Who knows, its not like you are going to be able to survey them. (To quote Python, most appear to have an overriding interest in "How Not To Be Seen.")

In any case, if you had to get to the point of producing receipts and conference gear to satisfy your spouse about your business trips, it would seem that your marriage ain't in all that great shape anyway, and unlikely to last.

The cheat on your spouse web-sites seem to keep struggling on though, full of listings from male creeps and female hookers. I suppose it is the advantage of web-type business models with low overheads.

I wonder how many David Vitter type politicians are clients of Alibila, and/or other such services? Perhaps we can have someone from Larry Flynt's office look into the matter.

"it's Broadsheet Feminism(TM) to defend women in burkhas when the women claim they want to do it, and to decry women in burkhas when the men say the women must do it."quote yet another "anonymous"

uh, yeah? what, dare say, is even slightly illogical about that? people should have the choice. there's nothing hypocritical or silly about believing both those things at the same time. if it really, truly is their choice... which, admittedly, seems a little suspect outside of narrow circumstances, then fine and dandy. sooner or later, we do have to take a person's word when the evidence also stacks up...

but yeah, it's a big deal when someone makes you....

anyway, I really just wanted to say: to each his own. i'm in a theoretically open marriage. neither of us is trying or interested in anyone, but, philosophically, we mutually decided that a love that is that selfish and controlling isn't us. i don't believe love is a zero-sum game. i don't believe that people can't love more than one person at the same time. as long as i know that she still loves me, won't leave me alone, and i do know that, then it's ok. it's made our relationship more open in how we speak too. and that's a good thing. neither of us is really a one-night-stand kinda persona and though we've had passing fancies... well, the thing is, everyone who knows us would say we have a really strong, loving, "normal" and egalitarian relationship. we do. and there's this, too.

we have friends who have been in a monogamous 3 person relationship for 4 years now. the "original" couple had been friends with us for a while and we had thought them quite the model couple. that's not changed.

i suppose cheating is another egg... but i don't know that i understand how different an egg.