Letters to the Editor
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Fetboy's definition of Consent
Fetboy, In NYS your second example, of the sleeping boyfriend with the woody, that'd be considered rape in New York, as it's penis/vagina intercourse from someone who is incapable of consent.
The only sticky wicket with your specific example is that they may or not be some sort of caveat that's applied to long-standing sexual partners in said situation. In other words my wife and I are likely not assaulting each other when we sleepily grope each other in the middle of the night and try to get it on. Or actually get it on.
In your example remove the implied long-standing sexual aspect of the relationship (not boyfriend but hook-up or stranger) and the girl deciding to hop on that "woody" and have her fun would very much be open to a full on rape/sexual assault charge. In NYS anyway.
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@Rammy H
Please provide an example of a case in which a man brought rape charges against a woman, because she "hopped on his woody."
I will agree that "hopping on a man's woody" would constitute sexual assault or sexual molestation, but not rape. In any case I doubt too many (if any) jury panels would believe that an incoherently drunk women, near to passing out, would be capable of "hopping on a woody." The positions of coitus are not the way that limp bodies would fall onto each other. If she was incoherently drunk, and she got entered, it was do to his penetration.
If the woman was not drunk, you might have a legitimate case of "a woman hopping on a woody," but I doubt it.
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Amazingly
Wow AKA Smith. Your anonymous antagonist is now attacking you with what you don't declare.
Could he possible sink to a lower level of desperation?
Anonymous, I already told you that date rape is not a gender balanced issue due to the difference in anatomy. Laws and trials have to reflect the fact that date rape is not a gender balanced issue.
How much longer are you going demonstrate how stupid you are, Anonymous? How much more longer are you going to attempt to defend/enable date rapists?
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Fetboy's Proof...
It wasn't my intention to provide proof of said act ever having occured or if occured then charged and bought to to trial.
Just that by a reading of NYS' definition of rape/sexual assault, the above scenario would count as assault.
The penis isn't that complicated an instrument. Guy on his back, passed out-unconscious-in coma-deeply asleep, get him hard, insert into cavity of your choice. Viola, according to NYS you've just likely raped a guy.
That's all I got.
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by your standard fetby a woman could tie a guy up at gunpoint make he take 10 viagra and then sit on his dick and it wouldn't be rape
(ok I admit I probably wouldn't press charges, but still).
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Memo to men who feel unfairly painted as potential abusers:
If you don't like it, change it. Refusing to touch a child or be involved with children's lives does not free you from suspicion, it adds to the suspicion. Those of us in the rational world - men and women - who do participate in children's lives every day aren't under suspicion because we prove, every day, by our behavior, that we can be trusted.
Yes, it will be uncomfortable and feel weird for a while, complying with the stupid rules that over-protective and over-concerned rule-makers have made. Yes, you will get slidelong looks from others... because you're breaking a stereotype.
I'm sorry the stereotype was built, but the hard facts have been that men who interact with children are more likely to behave in a predatory way than women. It's 30 years of data you're fighting now. Part of it is cultural, because we still have a sick and twisted attitude that women are the only caregivers and that men who want to give to children are not "really" men -- and the only way to kill that notion is one by one, man by man, day by day.
Change the stereotype. Be a coach. Help out in the class room. Join Campfire or Scouting. Help with your church youth group. Endure the stares and the uncomfortable questions. Keep your behavior unimpeachable -- ditch the porn, stay out of the strip clubs and watch your language, don't use homophobic or misogynist slurs. Behave as you want people to believe you behave. It's really not that hard.
Take a leaf from the book that early Feminists used. You're now faced with the same sorts of prejudice that we faced a century ago -- that your emotions and physical makeup made you somehow unsuitable to live in the world and thus must be segregated and kept out of the public eye (especially now that children are so much more public than they used to be). But that's not true - we control our emotions and we make our physical decisions. Prove to the world that you're not a slave to your hormones by behaving as if you're not a slave to your hormones. And self-police. When your buddy makes comments about a teenage girl, make sure he knows that's not acceptable. Early feminists learned that we had to behave at 150% to be credited with 50%. I'm sorry that you guys are finally in that same situation, but that's the world. Move forward and do the right thing and be the change.
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Refusing to touch a child or be involved with children's lives does not free you from suspicion, it adds to the suspicion
You can't be accused to doing something if you are never around kids. Men aren't interested in the kind of ass kissing you describe in order to earn the privilige of taking care of brats. Because men WILL degrade themselves to persuade women to like them sexually lots of people like you apparently assume their taste for masochism is unlimited in ALL situations.
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To anonymous and Rammy H
"by your standard fetby a woman could tie a guy up at gunpoint make he take 10 viagra and then sit on his dick and it wouldn't be rape"
I would consider that sexual assault, or molestation, but not rape.
"Guy on his back, passed out-unconscious-in coma-deeply asleep, get him hard, insert into cavity of your choice. Viola, according to NYS you've just likely raped a guy."
Again, I would consider that sexual assault, or molestation, but not rape. And, an incoherently drunk woman would not be able to pull off what you described.