And although this is utterly speculative...

We know Lloyd. Pretty much that's all you write. That plus your signature is redundant.

and I wouldn't sacrifice any part of my ambition for a woman, and I would have disdain for any woman who would do so for a man. A relationship is an intersection of common interests; the rest of the pie of one's life can be happily spent alone.

Carol,

Are you a journalist?

Are you reporting based on your reading of the actual study, or just your reading of the other articles about the study?

Did you call up the researcher and address your questions to her? What did she say? How did she respond to your claims that the population size was too small and self-selected?

Also, it seems the study indicates that at times, men sacrifice more for love than women. Aren't you making a very gendered, biased assumption when you write, I wonder if there's not an intrinsic problem with surveying men and women about career sacrifices even after they have happened. That women put love and family first is still such a prevailing norm -- especially after kids arrive -- that it's hard to think that men and women don't define the concept of sacrifice differently.

Is there any study that would change your mind?

This study shows the result is the opposite, and your response is to redefine the issue so that no study could ever show a result that men sacrifice their career for love.

The truth is, when you look at who becomes soldiers, who takes on dangerous jobs, who gets to stay home with children, who has to commute every day, who dies first, who is less healthy, etc., etc., the truth Carol Lloyd is that historically, men have sacrificed EVERYTHING, education, career, and their lives for love.

Sorry Carol, I know you will delete this letter like so many others, but your assumption that no man could sacrifice a career for love because of your presumption is bigoted, shallow, and disgusting.

Most of us are still stumbling around trying to figure ourselves out now. And, yeah, at least in my social group, I know plenty of guys who'd be happy to "opt out". This can be a challenge--some girls I know who'd rather be more traditional are having a tough time finding anybody to agree to it, and even I'm not sure I'm willing to 100% support a spouse for the rest of my life--but for the most part, now, it's pretty ordinary. Most of us don't want to work ourselves to death. We want time to spend with our pets and our partners and later our children (and our video game consoles, too, to be quite frank). The ideal in my social group seems to be some kind of setup where both parties could work, but with reduced hours so that everyone has plenty of time for other pursuits. How novel!

But that's not going to make any wage gap go away for a long time. Why? Because our generation isn't the one determining wages. I personally don't have any problem hiring a man for a secretary or a woman as an executive and with reasonable vacation time and paying based on the position and not the gender of the employee... but it's going to be twenty years, probably, before I'm the one making those decisions.

I am a 30 year old, married male. I am also an attorney licensed in two states in the midwest. My wife recently accepted a prestigious position in California, so we moved. I cannot practice as an attorney here without taking another bar exam (which means a hell of a lot of work, plus at least 10 months until the license comes through), and I have been forced to accept postitions of employment at a much lower status/income level.

Why did I do it? Not because I am a feminist (in fact, despite my commitment to equal rights, calling me one would be fighting words in my opinion). I did it because I love my wife, and she had the opportunity to pursue a position which has been her dream for many years. We are a team. We have both made sacrifices for one another in the past, and will continue to do so in the future.

So screw you Carol Lloyd. You are a bigot, and a shrill harpy. I hope your bile keeps you warm at night.

I had a job as a full-time engineer up at XEROX Parc.

I was admitted to a Ph.D program at MIT.

My fiance was admitted to a Ph.D program at UC Berkeley.

We got married. I quit my job at PARC. I turned down the Ph.D. program that I absolutely coveted at MIT. I entered a masters degree program at UC Berkeley.

We lived for two years off of MY savings.

I went back to work fulltime.

My ex completed her Ph.D., and decided she didn't like my friends or my choice of career or my ability to enhance our social standing, so she divorced me. We shared custody of the kids, but that upset her, so she got the courts to approve her moving to another state.

Sure, if I could get a job in that state, I could see my kids.

So I moved to a state where I had no job, very few employers in my chosen profession, no family, no friends.

I did this Carol Lloyd for my children, just as I had sacrificed my career earlier for my wife.

Carol, may you always be baron. (Line taken from the Princess Diaries.)

it takes a new study to know this?

Carol, may you always be baron

But are you wishing her to be barren, as in infertile, or a Baron, as in the lord of a domain?

Prime Minister Motaz and his wife were wishing the nasty Baron and Baroness Siegfried von Troken best wishes, knowing of their desire to place their own progeny on the throne of Genovia.

It's actually a pretty fun little movie.