Letters to the Editor
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the reason men spend time in virtual worlds is that the fake sex they get there is more real sex than they get in real life
obviously something is wrong somewhere for this to be the case but as long as it IS the case what do you expect. It's kind of hilarious that no matter how many times the old story is repeated that for some people it never seems to get old (there must be a constant renewal every generation): "how can we get men to TRULY AND COMPLETELY ACCEPT that whatever amount of sex women want is the RIGHT AND SHOULD BE THE TOTALLY SATISFYING amount".
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Interesting.
man's mere existence
is considered an insult to most women these days
Wow. You really believe that? Ouch.
Anyway, I have to agree with healthyskeptic. Sad to say, but we women can be awfully prickly creatures when it comes to other women. Not to act superior or anything, but I've never understood why some women behave that way. I don't, nor do I surround myself with friends who behave that way.
A perfect example of this is when we go to see my best friend's older brother play with his band on the local club circuit. Her brother (quite good looking) usually joins us at our table between sets, and the number of other women throwing us looks of pure spite and obvious jealousy is just staggering. If they only knew he was 'just family'; but that would not change the fact that they acted so petty.
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"Death throws"?
Tracy, you took the apostrphe advice with good grace, so please note that unless you're shooting dice with your life at stake, the term is "death THROES" (spasms before death) not "death throws".
Oh, and just a general notice to everyone while I'm at it: it's STRAITjacket, not STRAIGHTjacket, folks. (Strait means narrow, as in Straits of Magellan).
Thanks for letting me get that off my chest. I feel much better.
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Sorry, Tracy
I didn't notice that you had corrected "throws" in the original article; I just read it again in the letters. My apologies.
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New study finds ice is cold, often used in drinks to make them cold, too.
So men who insult their wives are more "likely to engage in "negative mate retention" strategies (like extreme possessiveness or keeping their partner under constant surveillance)."
In other words, guys who act like jerks, act like jerks.
I'm not thoroughly dismissing this study, but common sense tells you that frequent insults fall into the same spousal abuse pot as extreme jealousy, selfishness, and physical abuse.
Now that we have a study showing a link between insults and jealousy (or NMR, for the academics out there), to what practical use can it be made -- aside from publishing, not perishing?
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The function of Gossip - The Red Queen
Gossip is the primary way (particularly women) to track (or your word, stalk)what their signifigant others are up to as well as everybody else. Being someone who finds people who "kiss and tell" distasteful I tend to look down of gossip and those who purvey it(ok, I've done it too).
Gossip was undoubtably more important for 99% of human history when most of our ancestors lived and died in villages where they knew everyone and there were few secrets. Now is a relic that is programmed into us for better or worse.
A funny thing about humans is that the female ovulates monthly which means she is fertile all year round unlike most creatures. Furthermore, unlike everyother species I can think of, women conceal when they are ovulating. If we were Baboons we would just look at each others asses and see which color they were then hop on after a fight. What this means is that is the male wants to mate (and show me one that does'nt) then he has to stick around. This probably comes from our closest ancestors the bonobo's. They are permiscous and are unsure who the father is which cuts down on infanicide.
The advantage to women of this mating stratgy is that the men have to stick around. These days many women might consider this a disadvantage. This is one mechanism that keeps the men from just leaving after sex and finding another flower to fertilize. He can't be screwing someone else and watching his main squeeze at the same time. Raising a child alone is difficult even with progressive income tax, welfare, and charity, public schools, etc. In a pre-modern society not having a man was a sure ticket to poverty and risk. It also lowers the possibility to the male of having his children fail to reproduce due to lack of opportunity and poor health.
This is where gossip comes in. It keeps her rivals away. It is the early radar system that helps ward off rivals for her man's affection. Men are more promiscuous for a reason. Better to not have any temptation.
As for male jealousy, that would seem obvious. He is trying to keep his rivals away. I suspect most of the reason for a man insulting his partner is learned behavior. It can't be very effective. It probably falls more into pathologies like child abuse, alcoholism (without the genetic component), spousal abuse where it is passed on generation to generation.
One of the most interesting parts of this is what impact genetic testing will have on the male female poker match that has been going on since the beginning of time. With the snip of a child's hair he can now know for sure whether or not that child is his. The jealousy that has been programed into us is a gift from our ancestors is almost obsolete in the sense that he does not need to put in the time or energy sticking around if he is reasonably certain that there is no genetic payoff.
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Re: Virtual dude...
His marriage is doomed at the rate things are going. He needs help dealing with his formidable real-world problems, but it's a good bet he 1) thinks men shouldn't do therapy; 2) doesn't really want to live in the real world. And his wife needs to stop enabling him--she's acting more like a mother with a hikikomori teen than a wife.
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Second Life Relevance?
One of the things that I really enjoy about Broadsheet is that it has a flexible and broad definition of what consitutes "women's issues," but I have to wonder about this Second Life article. Is it a "women's issue" just because there's a woman married to this guy (or two women married to him, depending on how you look at it)?
Don't get me wrong, it's an interesting article -- the guy is really pathetic, and I feel for his wife -- but how does it fit into Broadsheet's purview? There are enough other sources for discussions of this kind of article. Broadsheet so often does a great job of spotlighting lesser-known subjects, and fighting b ack against the gender bias in so much of our media. I'd hate to see it lose its edge.